EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen
by katmom
Summary: FIRST PLACE WINNER in THE CANON TOUR CONTEST - PRE-TWI Portion. What if Edward, through Alice's visions, knew about Bella before he met her? What if he had a chance to avoid the bloodlust? Would he take that chance? AU
1. May 18, 1969

.

.

This was my entry in THE CANON TOUR CONTEST.

**I was touched and shocked to WIN FIRST PLACE!**

**THANK YOU everyone who voted in this anonymous contest!**

Go here to read the NEXT round of entries: http : / ww w . fanfiction . net/u/3041014/ thecanontour

I will be posting this story as JOURNAL ENTRIES over the next couple of days. I have added a section beyond the end of the contest bits.

Have to thank my marvelous betas and prereaders, they really do help these words come alive. Thank you **LJ Summers, SaritaDreaming **and** KzintiKiller**.

* * *

><p><strong>EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen<strong>

**May 18, 1969**

In the nineteen years that Alice and Jasper have been living with us, she has shared many visions with me. She's seen trouble with nomads who are passing by our home in time for us to avert it. She's seen the humans around us becoming too aware of our otherness. The weatherman has nothing on her; Alice can spot a break in the clouds with pinpoint accuracy.

We've developed a bit of shorthand in our communication. I decide something, say about a gift for her, she sees the decision and then either squeals with glee or shakes her head no until I decide on something else. Today Alice shared a vision that shocked me, shaking my entire future.

_I was smiling down at a young woman, my right hand holding her left one as I slipped a ring gently over the knuckle on her fourth finger to nestle it at its base. She was wearing a long white dress. A short veil was clipped at the crown of her head, lace spilling down over her long brown curls. _

_An arch covered in white flowers lent a festive touch to the gathering. A man of the cloth was smiling beside us. Glancing around, I saw my family gazing at the two of us, happiness radiating from them. The clothing styles of the guests were nothing that I had seen before. _

The perspective of this vision was one where I couldn't see the woman's face, but I could see my own. The look there was one of pure joy.

Alice had come to me as the vision faded, taking my hands in a firm grip as she smiled up into my face. "You'll be so happy. You're getting married!"

The rest of the family had noticed her vision trance and had waited quietly for the information on whether this was good news, or bad. At her words they had all erupted in questions that came too fast to be answered by either one of us.

My own questions couldn't be answered even though both of us looked at the vision in our memories over and over again during the next couple of hours. When did this vision take place? And more importantly to me, _who_ was this woman?

A startling truth was the fact that she appeared to be human. Although her skin was pale, unlike ours, there was an undeniable blush to the bare skin of her arms.

Rosalie had been the most vocal about that fact when Alice blurted out that my bride-to-be was human. She couldn't imagine in her wildest dreams that a human would be marrying a vampire. The thought was inconceivable to her.

Esme, of course, had been thrilled with the idea that I would marry, that I would be as joyful as Alice had described me to be.

Carlisle seemed to be mulling the whole thing over in his mind. He was always open to new things and this intrigued him.

Each time the vision plays through my mind I find myself shaking my head in near disbelief. I've been alone for so long. I've watched my family find mates and joy in their lives. I can't lie even to myself, it's been hard always being alone and lonely in the midst of their happiness. They've all tried to be discreet, but they love each other deeply and I don't begrudge their expressions of it. Well, not always. It's a good thing that I like moments of solitude as I've often been forced to run fast and far away from the amorous thoughts and actions of those that I live with.

The clarity and strength of Alice's vision leads me to believe that this young woman must know the truth of my nature. I refuse to believe that I'd marry her without having told her the entire truth of my situation. The fact that she _is_ marrying me must mean that she accepts me, all of me. Surely if she is willing to join me in marriage, she must see something that I've never seen in myself. I am also filled with awe that a human would love me, a vampire, enough to marry me.

Now, as I write this, many hours have passed since that shocking vision and we are no closer to any answers. My mind just keeps focusing intently on the look of love on my face in the vision. For the first time in my very long existence, I am filled with hope. Hope that I will indeed find my own mate. Hope that one day I will find happiness like my family has.

Even the _chance_ of this event occurring in my future has made me rethink my uneasiness with my second life. This bears further study.

* * *

><p>AN...These dates, from THE TWILIGHT LEXICON, have some correlation to this fic:

1950 Alice and Jasper find Carlisle and join his family. (TW14) (SM-TL)

1987 September 13 – Isabella Swan born to Renee and Charlie Swan in Forks, Washington. (NM1)

1989 March – Renee leaves Charlie, takes Bella to Riverside, CA. (TW1) (SM-TL)

1993 Renee and Bella move to Phoenix, AZ. (SM-TL)

1996-2002 Bella visits Charlie in Forks for one month in the summer. (TW1) (SM-TL)

2003 The Cullen family arrive in Forks, Washington. (TW1)

2005 - January

17th (Mon) – Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington. (SM-TL)

18th (Tue) – She meets Edward Cullen who is drawn to her blood. Edward leaves Forks for Alaska for one week to avoid killing Bella. (TW1)

Thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoy...there are about 8 or 9 "chapters" in this journal.

Kathie (at)GuardingKatmom on Twitter


	2. June 20, 1976

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**June 20, 1976**

Through the years since that first vision, Alice had continued to look, trying to see anything at all about the woman I was apparently going to marry. There was nothing new, but the original vision continued to hold firm. My room, no matter where we lived, was nearly papered over with drawings and paintings of that amazing look at my future. I first put pencil to paper when Esme asked for particulars of what Alice and I had seen. That initial sketch led to many others in acrylic, watercolor, oils and pastels. As hairstyles and fashions changed around us, we've all referred back to those sketches, and we can see the time hasn't arrived yet.

Today Alice rushed to me while we were all out in the woods enjoying a celebration hunt for my birthday. Her mind was in chaos as she flung herself into my arms. Jasper was close behind her and he was smiling at me.

"For your birthday…" she whispered and opened her mind completely to me.

_I was standing in a sunny meadow filled with wild flowers. Several buttons were undone on my blue shirt. The sun was shining as I tipped my head back and the rays glinted off of my skin. A young woman approached me and lightly touched my cheek, her hand skimming down my throat, coming to rest where my silent heart lay._

_The perspective suddenly shifted and I found myself staring down into brown eyes, deep chocolate with flecks of gold at the edges. A slow blink and the viewpoint drew back to where I could see her heart shaped face._

_She was lovely and she was smiling at me as her lips formed my name...Edward._

The vision faded and Alice squealed loudly which drew the rest of the family from the woods around us. We shared the details of the vision and Esme rushed us back to the house to sketch the face of my beloved.

Emmett asked for a sketch for himself, one that showed both of us. I was quite shocked that he'd want one, but I gave it to him gladly. I should have known by the fact that he was singing _Afternoon Delight_ by the Starland Vocal Band that he was up to no good. He returned shortly with the sketch and flipped it down onto the desk before me. Mounds of silver glitter flew everywhere as it hit the flat surface. The part of the picture that featured me was obliterated by glue and glitter.

As he had flown out of the front door with me in hot pursuit, he had yelled back over his shoulder that he had wanted the sketch to be true to life. For just a moment I let him think he was getting away, but I was really just letting him have a head start. He needed one. Then I was after him like a shot.

We still have no clue as to when this will happen, or who she is, but I now have more inspiration for my walls and hope is still holding strong in my heart.


	3. January 25, 1981

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**January 25, 1981**

This evening Esme was reading a letter to us from our friends who lived in Alaska. The three women had gone to Volterra, Italy and had wanted to share the news with us. Even though Carlisle had lived with the Volturi centuries ago, none of us wanted to visit. The Volturi enjoyed collecting vampires with gifts and we tried to stay under their radar. Irina, Kate and Tanya said that Aro hadn't asked to read their memories so he still didn't know about the gifts that our family entertained. Esme had just gotten to the closing sentiments when Alice had stiffened as a vision played through her mind.

_There was snow on the ground and lying heavily on the trees that surrounded a large parking lot. A sign in the background read Forks High School. Standing at the back of a behemoth of a truck, its paint rusted and faded from the original red, was the young woman from the earlier visions. Her head snapped up and an expression of abject terror marred her delicate features. The perspective changed suddenly and a blue van was sliding toward her on a sheet of black ice._

_A blurred shape that I recognized as myself sped to her and then disappeared with her between the van and the truck. _

Gasping, I fell to my knees as Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. Alice, in Jasper's arms, was in no better shape as we both hissed loudly. Once again the vision changed.

_Two ambulances were on the scene and I was standing next to a gurney where the girl was being fitted with a neck brace. The look on her face should have withered me where I stood. She was telling the EMT that she did NOT need to go to the hospital and asking him why they weren't fussing over me since I had been on the ground with her between the wrecked vehicles._

Once I had caught my breath I told them what this vision consisted of and that I had seen a sign for Forks High School. Esme told Alice and Jasper that we had lived in the area of Forks, Washington many years ago and that we still had a house near there.

Grabbing paper and pencils, Alice and I both sketched the scenes from the vision as quickly as we could. Emmett suggested we try to focus on license plates, that way we could see what year it was. His suggestion netted us Washington plates with 2005 stickers on them.

It was hard to remember that this was my future, and as such, surely it could be changed. We didn't know if this was before the wedding, or after, if she was a student or a teacher. Rose asked us to sketch the young woman's hair. Her long curls were featured prominently in the scenes from the wedding vision. Again Alice and I sketched furiously. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief when we realized that, even with her hair hanging down over a winter jacket, it was a couple of inches shorter than it was in the wedding. We hoped that meant that the wedding vision came later, which would mean that she had survived this accident with no permanent injury.

Emmett joked, when he saw the sketch of her on the gurney, that she was giving me _the look_. When I questioned him about that, he said, "You know, _the look_ that wives and girlfriends give you that mean you aren't getting any…" Esme immediately took him to task, even as Alice and Rosalie smirked at their mates.

After much discussion it was decided that at some point we'd be moving back to Washington State. Knowing that we can't be in one place too long, we decided to wait until we had further information before we made the move there. We don't want to arrive too early and hopefully Alice will see something that would help us determine when the move would be most advantageous.

I promised myself that when we are in the high school parking lot during any inclement weather, this scenario won't have a chance of happening. I'll be right there beside this young woman who, even though I haven't met her yet, already holds my heart. I will protect her with my life.

Anticipation fills me when I realize that I will see her in no later than 2005. Thirty years to an immortal isn't really that long. At least that's what I'll keep telling myself.


	4. September 13, 1987

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**September 13, 1987**

Today is an auspicious day. My wife-to-be was born in Forks, Washington. Alice saw her meeting her father for the first time.

_A man wearing a Forks' sheriff's uniform was holding a baby in his arms. His eyes were suspiciously bright as he cuddled the infant close to his chest. The baby startled as he kissed her on the forehead and he smiled widely at a woman sitting up in a hospital bed even as he soothed the baby back to sleep. She motioned for him to put the baby in a bassinet. He stood, then leaned over to put her inside and there, at the top of the isolette, was a pink card with the baby's information on it:_

_Name: Isabella Marie Swan_

_Parents: Charlie and Renee Swan_

_Date: September 13, 1987_

_Born: 5:12 p.m. September 13, 1987_

_Length: 20 inches_

_Weight: 7.8 pounds_

_He turned to the woman in the bed and I read his lips as he said, Bella, I'm going to call her Bella. Isabella is too big of a handle for such a little girl._

Bella, her name is Bella! I can't tell how many times I've said her name already, both in my mind and with my voice.

The women in our family cooed over the pictures that Alice and I drew. A couple of hours after the vision Emmett handed me a handful of bubblegum cigars with the words _It's a Wife_ printed on the wrappers. Then he challenged me to chew them and blow bubbles. I declined. He did tease me about the fact that my wife was only twenty inches tall. He then turned to Jasper and pointed out she was nearly as tall as Alice. Jasper and I took one look at each other and with a nod of agreement we chased Emmett deep into the woods. A couple of hours later we returned to the house with ripped clothes and smiles on our faces. Tossing Emmett through the forest is an excellent way to let off steam and to celebrate. Jasper agrees with me.

Eighteen years, in eighteen years I'm going to be with the human woman that will become my wife. Alice assures me that the vision of our wedding is still solid. The vision of the accident in the parking lot is no longer firm. My decision to keep her safe during inclement weather seems to have averted that particular outcome.

Knowing that she is actually on this earth with me is an amazing feeling. On the one hand I want to rush to Washington and see her. I want to see her grow. But the moment I thought that Alice shook her head no. She didn't see anything in particular, but she said she felt that that would be a very bad decision. She said she'd know when the time was right.

We've all come to trust Alice's feelings and her intuition about our future. I'm not willing to go against her in this situation. Too much is at stake.

* * *

><p><strong>A small reminder...I'll post a couple of his journal entries a day. Right now there are about 10 of them...but I keep thinking "But what about THIS?"<strong>

**My beta is laughing at me...I know she is.**

**I'm rather wondering WHERE Emmett got glitter...and more importantly, WHY? Any thoughts on that?**

**I am so thrilled with your support of this story...love checking my email! Thank you all for the reviews, fav's and alerts!**

**Kathie**


	5. March 7, 1989

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**March 7, 1989**

Alice was sad as she shared a new vision with me this afternoon.

_Suitcases were sitting on the porch of a tidy two story house as rain fell from gray skies. A cab sat in the driveway, its motor running. The door of the house opened and Renee Swan stepped out holding a crying Bella in her arms. Charlie Swan picked up the suitcases and followed her down the stairs to the driveway. Taking the crying child in his arms, he kissed the top of her head. The look on his face as he cuddled his daughter was beyond grief. Renee took her back and slipped into the backseat of the car. As it drove away tears mixed with rain on Charlie's face._

Esme was the most vocal about this vision. It broke her heart to think of this little family torn apart. My own heart hurt for Bella. The sight of her tears shattered me. Once again Alice had to insist that now was not the time to search her out. Jasper had to leave the house, our emotions were overwhelming him.

The only thing that keeps me from rushing to Bella is the fact that the wedding vision is still firm. I promise Bella, in my heart, that I will never do anything to make her cry like that.

* * *

><p>AN...This is the shortest of his entries...it is what it had to be. Don't you just FEEL for Charlie? I'm guessing this really was close to how he felt...makes me want to smack Renee...More tomorrow morning!

Thanks, again, for all the lovely support!

Kathie


	6. January 18, 2001

**.**

**.**

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**January 18, 2001**

The most terrifying of Alice's visions occurred this morning. I had been playing the piano, a lullaby that I had written for Bella just after she was born. Esme was sitting on the couch in the music room reading and listening to the music. Carlisle was at her feet perusing a medical journal. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were romping in the snowy front yard. Their shrieks were counterpoint to the melody that I was playing. Sudden silence caught our attention and then the slamming of the front door brought us to our feet in defensive postures.

The vision filled my mind and I was thrilled to see Bella again. As it continued to play out a growl left my lips.

_Bella was the focal point. Everything else was slightly blurred although I could tell that we were in a school, probably a science classroom from all the paraphernalia sitting on shelves. A fan was placed by the door. Bella stepped into the room and the breeze lifted her hair. It was lovely as it spread over her shoulders. _

From this viewpoint I could see myself at the back of the classroom.

_My face was a mask of boredom until suddenly…it wasn't. My eyes darkened and I saw my lungs fill with air, my shoulders rising as I took in a deeper breath._

_In a flash I was out of my seat and I had killed half of the children as they settled into their seats…I was at the front of the classroom, the teacher was dead and Bella was tucked into my side even as I flashed back down the far aisle of the classroom, breaking the necks of the remaining students. I had flipped the door closed as I passed it._

_There was blood everywhere._

_Bella was looking up into my face, shock and confusion written there. Her eyes closed in death as I attacked her neck just as the vision ended._

A howl left my throat as I dropped to my knees. Alice was growling in Jasper's arms. Carlisle was asking what had happened, his arms tight around Esme's shoulders.

I couldn't speak. Alice had to tell them what we had seen. All I could do was huddle on the floor, my head in my hands as I rocked back and forth, a low keening coming from my chest. The horror of the scene seemed to fill every bit of my mind. I kept trying to hold onto the fact that this was the future that we had seen. Surely something could be done to keep this from happening.

The third time through Alice's recitation of the massacre, I found enough strength to say that it looked like I had taken a breath just before I had killed everyone in the room, including the woman who would be my bride.

Emmett had gasped at my comment and Carlisle had stilled. I had heard his mind working at the speed of light and then he had spoken, "La tua cantante."

Alice repeated the phrase, asking what it meant beyond _your singer_.

Carlisle said that the Volturi had mentioned this phenomenon, where a particular human had blood that overwhelmingly appeals to a certain vampire. The call is so uncontrollable that one cannot refrain from draining the human. The effect was very rare and it was astonishing that Emmett had actually found his singer while he and Rose had been on vacation many years before. He had been an animal drinker for years when he stumbled upon his singer. There was no way he could resist her.

We had gone over the vision again and again and the singer aspect was the only one that seemed to fit.

Even though this scenario hadn't taken place yet, Alice told us that the wedding vision was nearly dark. She tried to calm me as everyone brainstormed about how to prevent the destruction of my mate at my own hand.

Rosalie was quiet during the discussion. Finally she came and knelt before me, lifting my chin so that I was looking in her eyes. Her words shocked me.

"Edward, you know that I've fought against the idea of you marrying a human since Alice had that first vision thirty-two years ago. Each vision she's had has changed you. I've seen you happy as you waited for this event to happen. I've seen you come out of your brooding shell and really join us as an integral part of our family. I've gotten _used_ to your anticipation and the thought of a human woman becoming your wife and your mate. I still don't like it, but I'm _used_ to it." She had stopped and glanced at Carlisle who swiftly approached her. "What if he can get _used_ to her blood, to her scent?"

Total silence filled the air after her question.

Before anyone else could speak I got to my feet and looked at Alice as I made a decision. "I will not kill Bella. I will get used to her scent. I will fight the singer phenomenon with my entire being."

Everyone looked at Alice as her eyes closed and a vision filled her mind. A smile crossed her face and mine too.

_I was standing in the hallway at the school, just outside the office door, as Bella came out of the room. She was holding a slip of paper. It was a map of the school with her schedule written out on the back. The date was printed at the top: January 18, 2005._

_A strategically placed trash can caused Bella to stumble and I was there to gently take her arm, catching her before she could fall. She looks up into my eyes as I introduce myself to her and offer to show her to her classroom._

That image faded as Alice blinked and mentally shifted to look at the wedding vision. It was back to being crisp and clear and I breathed a sigh of relief.

We spent the rest of the afternoon coming up with plans to help me get used to her scent. It was determined that I'd need access to articles of clothing that Bella had worn. We also decided on a time frame to move to Forks. We wanted to go early enough that the townspeople would be used to us, so that interest could die down. We never actually fit in, but eventually the people around us would stop looking at us constantly. Esme would also need time to get the house ready. She'd go ahead of us in March 2003 and we'd follow in August, just prior to school starting. Carlisle was already preparing a resume to send to the Forks Hospital when the time came.

Jasper had discovered that Renee and Bella lived in Phoenix, Arizona; a very difficult place for vampires to move around during daytime hours. It was decided that he and Alice would make a trip there to _borrow_ some clothes about three months before Bella was due to arrive in Forks. We didn't know exactly what date she'd arrive, but surely we'd be able to get some fresh clothing for me to smell before I actually met her.

Alice assures me that if I can keep my resolve and acclimate myself to her scent, the future that I so desperately want will come to pass.

That was enough to put steel into my decision. Now all I have to do is wait another four years. I _can_ do it. With so much at stake, I _will_ do it.

* * *

><p>So...Rose...what do you think? Would SHE have become sensitized, in a way, too?<p>

I am going to get a coffee...and respond to the GLORIOUS reviews that are waiting in my inbox...have READ them, SMILED...and now to answer! Can't thank you all enough...but will try: **THANK YOU!**

Kathie


	7. January 1, 2005

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**January 1, 2005**

Charlie Swan has told everyone that will listen that his daughter is arriving on January 17th. He is so excited; his moustache has been known to actually twitch into a smile as he speaks about her. It's all I can do to keep an impassive expression on my face as the students and townspeople of Forks discuss Bella's arrival. They've only been looking forward to it for a couple of months…I've been anticipating it for thirty-six years.

Jasper and Alice brought a couple of articles of clothing and towels from Phoenix in November. They actually stole them from a hamper at the laundry where Bella was doing the wash for her family. They compensated Bella by slipping a $100 bill into the jeans left behind in her clothes basket.

Before their return, Alice had placed each bit of clothing and the towels into separate Ziploc bags to keep the scent as fresh on each piece as possible. I had grabbed and shredded the first hand cloth that she handed me before I even knew what hit me. To say that Bella's scent was overwhelming is a huge understatement. After that first attempt, Jasper and Emmett would hold me as Alice approached with the scent filled cloth. Eventually I did become acclimated enough to her scent that I could take the fresh bit of cloth and hold it to my nose without losing control. Alice has assured me that the strength of my decision to keep Bella safe is what _will_ keep her safe. The burn in my throat has never left as I smell her scent, but it is a comfort to me, a reminder that I need to be careful with her and always be aware of how much she means to me.

Jasper and Alice had also brought a roll of film back from Arizona. It was filled with pictures taken of Bella as she moved around the school, her yard and while she was out shopping. I've got them in an album and look at her lovely face as I smell her clothing. It feels quite stalkerish, but my family assures me that this is the best thing to do. All of them want me to succeed in becoming acclimated to her scent. None of them want the massacre that Alice foresaw. As long as my decision holds firm, things appear to be on track.

We know she's arriving in town on the 17th. Jasper and Alice will leave on the 15th to retrieve some fresh articles of clothing for me. Emmett and Rose will slip into the house after her arrival and take something for me smell before I meet her at school on the 18th.

I'm sure that I'll be able to handle it. I'm firm in my decision. Alice says things look good.

It's hard to believe that in days I will be meeting the woman who has owned me for so many years. Everyone has given me advice on this first meeting. I've chosen to ignore Emmett's, but have taken everyone else's into consideration.

They are telling me to go slow, to be myself. I'm willing to give it my best effort. The prize is worth it.

I'm excited, and terrified, in anticipation of the moment when I see Bella for the first time without the buffer of a photograph or a vampiric memory. My heart is already so involved with her; she holds my thoughts every moment of every day. I know that she doesn't know me from Adam, but I have to trust Alice in this. She wouldn't have seen our wedding if there were nothing possible from Bella's point of view.

In a matter of days I will be seeing Bella for the first time.

I can't wait.

**~!~!~!~!~!~**

* * *

><p><strong>It's getting close! The meeting...!<strong>

**So...is this STALKING? Is it okay? Do you think it helped JASPER too?**

**I've always thought it was everyones' HUNGER that threw him over the edge. **

**WHY would he even want to go so long between feedings? Did he LIKE the pain? Silly boy...lol**

**PSA...if you want to get a response to your review, you have to have your PM's set to ALLOW!**

**I love answering reviews, but I can't if you don't allow the PM's.**

**Kathie**


	8. January 18, 2005 2:00 am

**My beta for the remainder of this story is the wonderful LJ Summers...thank you!**

* * *

><p><strong>EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen<strong>

**January 18, 2005 2:00 a.m**

I'm writing this as I hold a brown sweater to my face. It's the one that Bella wore on the plane from Phoenix today. Venom has pooled lightly in my throat, but the burn is welcome. It means that she's close. In a matter of hours—not years, not weeks, not days, but hours—I will be meeting Bella face to face for the first time.

Rose and Emmett have graciously let me plunder their memories of the sight of Bella as she fixed dinner for Charlie last night. After Rose entered Bella's window to retrieve the sweater, they stayed at the tree line looking through the kitchen window for an hour. Bella's smile was so very beautiful as she prepared a simple meal for her father. Rose said that the two of them didn't talk much, but the exchanges seemed to be heartfelt. She said that the edges of Charlie's moustache lifted every time he looked at his daughter.

Now I just have to be myself and put myself out there.

Alice has chosen my clothes and they are already waiting on my bed. I'm going hunting with Jasper now, to provide a cushion for my thirst.


	9. January 18, 2005 11:52 pm

.

.

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**January 18, 2005 11:52 p.m.**

I knew that my first meeting with Bella would be a shock to my system. Her blood would call to me, even though I had tried to acclimate myself to it. What shocked me more was the fact that I couldn't hear her mind. I was actually startled when she stepped from the school's office. I hadn't heard her coming.

I'm _never_ caught off guard and yet, I was.

It had taken several seconds for me to realize that she was actually standing before me. My catching her as she stumbled was done purely on reflex. I've never known anyone that I couldn't hear. This will need more study and adds another layer of things to discover about her.

Bella is simply stunning. Her voice is music to my ears. Hearing it for the first time, as she thanked me for keeping her from falling, nearly struck me mute. A slight blush came to her cheeks as I searched for words to greet her with.

The scent of her blood pulled me back to the moment and I found myself smiling at her, joy filling my heart.

A few awkward moments later and, with her permission, I escorted her to her first class, which also happened to be mine. People stared at us and I felt her embarrassment. I worked to keep people polite and at a bit of distance and she appeared to appreciate my efforts.

At one point Eric Yorkie rushed up to us and asked if she'd allow an interview and a picture for the school paper. Bella declined and a glare from me made Mr. Yorkie move along.

At lunch I asked Bella if I could join her at a table with Angela Weber. Another soft blush accompanied her agreement. Angela is a truly nice girl and she kept up a gentle conversation with Bella. She seemed pleased with my interest in Bella, unlike some of the other thoughts from the children around us. Lauren and Jessica are vicious girls and we'll be keeping a close eye on them. The young men were annoyed by my interest too. I was pleased that she seemed more interested in me than in them. Alice said that my escort of her was a good thing. It kept their plans to get an _in_ with the new girl in check.

My entire plan for this day was just to meet Bella, to get past that first inhalation of her scent, and to maybe speak to her a time or two.

The day went much better than I had hoped. I kept meeting her eyes, or rather, she kept meeting mine. That is huge with humans. So often they are drawn to us, but then that self-preservation gene kicks in and they want to flee.

Bella kept meeting my eyes and I'd find myself just enjoying the moment. By the end of the day, after sharing classes and lunch with her, I felt how at ease she was with me. Alice came up to us as I walked her to her truck. She smiled as she met her eyes too. Alice was also astonished at the ease with which she made small talk.

Flickers of the future kept running through Alice's mind. Further meetings, that looked to be actual dates, began to run together in a never-ending film.

A last smile from Bella and she was on her way, her truck loudly exiting the parking lot.

Alice hadn't been able to keep her smile from her face. But then, neither could I.

The family quickly joined me at the car and there were grins on their faces too. They all had something to say about what they had heard about Bella and how I appeared to be staking my claim.

As long as Bella didn't mind, and she seemed happy to see me each time I had appeared, I don't really care what anyone else in the school has to say. Alice had already foreseen my first date…and I was going to ask Bella out at lunch tomorrow.

There is so much hope in my future and it all starts now.

* * *

><p>So? Was the meeting satisfactory? There are a few more bits...and then maybe more? Maybe? Some of your reviews have gotten my creative juices flowing...<p>

Keep laughing, LJ Summers...I know you love me!

Kathie


	10. February 28, 2005

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**February 28, 2005**

I'm taking things slowly with Bella. We've been on one date. That amazes me. I've been on an _actual_ date. It feels so normal, so human. I was going to ask her out the day after we met, but decided that was too fast. We spent those first weeks just hanging out at school with the occasional phone call.

The students have grown accustomed to our friendship at school. I walk her to class and sit next to her in the ones we share. We sit with either the family, or Angela and her friend Ben, at lunch. I had heard their yearning toward each other and a gentle nudge had brought them closer to each other. Sometimes we all sit together. Again, it feels so normal and right.

The male students, for the most part, are annoyed with me for meeting Bella and, as they think, getting a jump on a relationship. They are too afraid of me to actually try to get close to Bella but I have to endure their thoughts. Thoughts that generally have them and Bella naked. Jasper has had to calm me a few times when my plotting to end them got out of hand.

The female students are annoyed _and_ jealous. I can't find it in myself to care. Well, except for when they actively plot to be mean to Bella. Between Alice and I, we have foiled a few harassing types of things, and once, a really hideous prank. We turned it around on Lauren and I don't think that she will be coloring her hair at home again anytime soon. Her mother had to take her to Port Angeles to get the dye job fixed.

My family is making an effort to get to know Bella during our shared lunches. Alice is her usual exuberant self and the two of them are rather like opposite sides of a coin. Alice starts getting excited about something and Bella just smiles at her and watches her ping off the walls. From some of the things that she has said, I get the feeling that Alice has some things in common with Bella's mother. Except that Alice would never leave projects unfinished and she would never hurt someone with her inattention.

Rosalie has offered to do some body and engine work on her truck because it is a _classic_ and Bella is considering it. She loves the truck, as her father gave it to her, but she, who hates being the center of attention, knows that the engine is loud and she would like to change that. Bella doesn't know that Rose has already ordered the parts and she's found the perfect red paint to use. I am amazed and awed at her friendship with this fragile human. I think the time between the first vision of Bella and then actually meeting her has been helpful to us both. And I'm grateful. Rose has always had the hardest time of any of us with the reality of what we are. I think that being near Bella has given her a small slice of her humanity back.

Emmett is working hard to keep his over-large personality quiet. It's killing him. But he likes Bella and he wants her to get used to him before he lets loose. The plans in his mind are funny-scary, but he can't keep them to himself, so I've already stopped him from grabbing her and swinging her around like a rag-doll a time or three.

Jasper has been feeding more often with me. He's calm and Alice's joy in her new friend is keeping him grounded. He has always struggled the most with his hungers, but he also has had time to become acclimated to Bella's very enticing scent when he and Alice brought her clothes to me. When the call of her blood starts to stir in me, as it did the first couple of weeks after meeting her, he was there to calm me. Now the call of her blood is fading as I come to really know her.

It's odd. I've known her, in a way, for decades. But now, knowing the real Bella is even more amazing than I had imagined it could be. Her silent mind is a puzzle and one that Carlisle and I may never figure out. Her humor, her kindness, her beauty, her quiet joy in life is all more than I had ever imagined I would want in a mate. And she is my mate. I feel it in the very core of my being. There's a connection between us; I can see in her eyes that she feels something too and I am awed and humbled. The vision of our wedding is still very crisp and clear.

Never once has she shied away from a brush of my fingers on her hand, not that I've held her hand yet. Emmett keeps telling me to get a move on, but I just can't hurry this.

Finally, two weeks after we met, I asked her out to see a movie in Port Angeles. To say that I was overjoyed when she agreed to go with me would be an understatement.

She chose an action movie and we laughed as we discussed the plot on the way home. Charlie met us at the door when I walked her to the porch. He hadn't been home when I picked her up. I was polite and pretended to wince when he shook my hand...hard, well hard for a human. My cold hands caused him to look closer at me. His mind was hard to read, but I did catch that he was going to be keeping an eye on me. He was wondering if he should do a background check.

We had actually met before Bella arrived back in town. I had been at the hospital talking to Carlisle when the Chief came by to ask him about an accident victim. At the time, after being informed that I would be in the same grade as his soon-to-arrive daughter, I had assured him that I'd try to make her feel welcome and that I'd look out for her. He had liked the idea then...but now that I was returning with her from a _date_, well, his priorities had shifted. I am positive that our background information will hold up to his thorough scrutiny, but maybe I should ask Jasper to recheck. Just in case. I'm pretty sure that we've never been checked into by a suspicious father before. I think that he might be more scrupulous than anyone else.

Bella had rolled her eyes at the Chief's posturing then kissed me on the cheek—in front of her father—before saying she'd see me at school on Monday and inviting me to call her on Sunday.

I'm not sure who was shocked more: me or Charlie.

I do know that Alice was squealing when I drove into our yard and the rest of the family was smiling.

* * *

><p><strong>Whopping LONG AN...**I am caving to my inner muse…the one that keeps screaming "THE END? I DON'T THINK SO!" I keep thinking, "Oh, I could write about ..., and ..., oh AND ...!"

I'm sorry if some were looking forward to me clicking COMPLETE…but I really think that I have to chat about the baseball game and the fact that it was seven to three! Really? They'd let a HUNTER go that had already shown his intent to KILL Bella? No, I don't think so.

I do have three other journal entries written already, but the updates won't be quite as swift. I do have a family-free day today, and there are some thoughts that just have to get written NOW, ugh, they are forcing their way out of me.

If there are some bits that you would like to see, knowing that canon has changed, to some extent, I'd like to hear about them. I know that a vision of a CHANGED Bella is on the horizon. There will be NO running away. There will be conversations between adults, because that's the way things should be handled. NO RUNNING!

NKubie did you notice that I added in an Edward/Charlie moment? That's new...for you!

I like babies…so, that gives you a hint about another journal entry.

I really can't thank you all enough for the support of this story. I'm seriously blown away each time I log on! Your reviews have brought me joy and I'm smiling the entire time I read them.

THANK YOU, so very much!

Now…I'm going to write a couple more journal entries!

**Kathie**


	11. March 7, 2005

**.**

**.**

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**March 7, 2005**

A couple of days ago I had to tell Bella that we were going camping as Alice said it was going to be sunny for awhile. After saying that she would miss me, she also told me that she, Angela and several other students would be going to First Beach on the 5th. We spoke briefly on the phone that night. There was some hesitation in her voice and it took me awhile to make her comfortable again. I need to find out why she was so cautious after her trip there. It makes me wonder if any of the Quileute Pack was there. The treaty specifies that they can't say anything about us, but I really can't imagine what else might have happened.

Actually, one more idea has occurred to me, but dwelling on it makes me see red and Jasper has cautioned me against letting those feelings out. I am worried that one of those boys from school might have done something to offend or hurt Bella. I am going to have to try to find out what happened during her day at the beach. Maybe I can see it in Angela's mind.

She'd sounded disappointed when I told her that I wouldn't be able to see her for another couple of days. Her sadness over my continued absence helped ease my pain too. Not seeing her is causing me to feel exceedingly anxious.

Apparently my stalker tendencies have come out to play at full force. I have watched her at school from the tree line, but that isn't nearly close enough. Emmett continues to laugh at me. He suggested Ninja clothing and I even found an entire ensemble on my bed this morning. Alice told him in no uncertain terms that I would _not_ be wearing that, not even to lurk in the shadows.

At least there is no more snow and ice to worry about. At the end of January Alice had come flying into the house after hunting with Jasper. She had seen a vision of snow falling in the predawn hours and black ice in the parking lot at the high school. None of us had wanted the vision that we had seen on January 25, 1981 to happen.

Rose had immediately decided to make a trip to Tyler Crowley's house. She'd said she would pull a spark plug loose so that his van wouldn't start. Emmett and Jasper had taken Em's jeep to pick up a huge supply of sand and salt. They were going to prepare the parking lot so that no ice could even form.

Charlie Swan is my new hero. He was up at the crack of dawn putting chains on Bella's truck.

Alice didn't see any accident happening as we made our preparations. Although that reassured me, I was waiting as her noisy truck lumbered into the parking lot. And I was standing right there to open her door, accept her smile and view the new chains on the tires with her. She had shaken her head and expressed her appreciation of her father. My family was poised at different places around the lot just in case something untoward were to happen.

Emmett and Jasper's sand and salt had done their job and no vans, cars, trucks or skateboards careened out of control toward the light of my existence. We all breathed a sigh of relief as I walked her into the school.

Once again I thanked Alice for sharing her gift with me. She'd pictured a new pair of $800 shoes and I agreed almost before her choice was made. She'd laughed beside me and Bella had looked confused. Alice had told her that she had just remembered something that was funny, but unimportant.

Bella also mentioned last night that she had made plans to go to shopping in Port Angeles with Angela tomorrow. The school is having a dance, ladies' choice, on March 12. We've already discussed the fact that if she were to go, she'd ask me, but she doesn't want to go at all.

I haven't told her that at least three of the boys at school are plotting to get her alone to ask her if she would ask _them_ to the dance. Jasper, Emmett and Alice have worked diligently to keep them away from her so far. It's not that I want to take away her choice in the matter, but she's told me that she'd be mortified if any of the boys approached her. She's seen a couple of them waylay unsuspecting girls in the hallways. Her face was red on their behalf and I don't want her to be uncomfortable if I can help it.

_We've_ already made plans to do something else instead and she's said that _that_ will be more fun than a silly school dance.

I plan to take her to my meadow...that vision from my birthday keeps coming to mind. Maybe I'll be brave enough to show her the real me.

_Maybe_...or maybe not.

Alice can't tell me when the best time to tell her would be. I guess I haven't made a firm enough decision. And I won't now, either. I just have to play it by ear and try to follow my heart and Bella's clues. She is very hard to read, but I like to think that I'm getting _better_ at reading her.

If our visit to the meadow is a success, I think that I'll ask her if she'd like to spend the evening with my family. As I write this, I hear Alice screaming downstairs. That must mean that we'll be returning here after our visit to the meadow.

None of my siblings are going to the dance either. I'm pleased that I won't have to share her with anyone else during the day. I might be able to share her with the family that evening. Esme is nearly vibrating in her eagerness to meet this girl that she's _known_ for decades. She can't wait to see the woman who has brought me to life.

Maybe, if I am really lucky, I can convince Bella to dance with _me_ later, at my house.


	12. March 8, 2005

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**March 8, 2005…11:32 p.m.**

First, let me write that I don't know when I've ever been as frightened as I was earlier today. I had been driving to Port Angeles, knowing that even though it was sunny, I'd try and keep an eye on Bella through Angela's mind as they shopped. It had been too many days since I'd been near her and the pain in my chest was hard to manage. I was thinking that maybe, when the sun went down, I could "accidentally" run into them. I could tell her that my family had returned from camping and had sent me out to get some supplies to restock the kitchen. I'd tell her that I had driven to Port Angeles for those supplies in the hopes that I'd see her there.

When I had reached the outskirts of Port Angeles, Alice had called in a total frenzy. Apparently Bella was going to be attacked by a group of men as she took a shortcut through an alley. Bella and Angela had run into Lauren, Lauren's mother, and Jessica and had separated briefly so that Bella could step into a bookstore. Bella was supposed to meet them for dinner afterwards.

After hanging up on Alice, I had broken every speed limit in my rush to get to Bella. I searched minds as I drove through the still sunny streets. Finally I had heard the minds of men with hideous plans. One appeared to be the ring-leader, but the others were happy to follow along with his ideas.

As I had spun around the corner, I had seen her. She was surrounded by five men, but had her hands up in a defensive position. A corner of my brain was proud of the fact that she was ready to fight. What a vampire she would make! I had tucked that thought away for further study.

The smell of her adrenaline swept over me as soon as I had opened the car door and I had felt a growl leave my throat. I had run to her side, barely keeping to a human speed. The ring leader, Ronnie, had taunted us and rushed in, swinging. I protected my mate with few thoughts of the consequences. I had wanted to kill them, crush them, dismember them. Only the thought of how appalled Bella would be, how shocked at the blood, when I already knew of her intolerance there, kept me from following my urge to kill them all.

The sun had set and the shadows covered much of the damage that I was inflicting on the men, but I knew that Bella was seeing far more than was healthy for a human.

When they were all down and groaning, I had swept Bella into my car and we had driven away from the scene. There had been a text message from Alice telling me that she had called the police and they would be surrounding the area shortly.

I had breathed in deeply, feeling the burn in my throat that meant she was safe and alive and with me. Still feeling the urge to go back and kill them, I had asked her to divert me in some way. She had heard the steering wheel crack slightly and after giving me a cool glance she had called Angela. She'd told her that she had met up with me and that I'd be giving her a ride home. Angela said that would be fine, that Jessica was riding home with her while Lauren drove back with her mother.

Knowing that I wouldn't have to let Bella go on to dinner with the girls had eased my tension somewhat, but I was still on edge as I drove aimlessly around the outskirts of the city. Bella told me to pull over and I'd found a deserted parking lot and stopped. Once I had the engine off, she'd removed a book that had been in the bag she carried and flipped through the pages. She turned the book and showed me a page with the title _The Cold Ones_. My eyes had flown to hers and she'd said, "I knew it."

Apparently one of the boys from the Reservation, the one who had rebuilt her truck and known her as a child, had been at First Beach and they had talked about the Quileute legends. He had thought that it was just a story, and had thought to share a scary tale with her. He had mentioned that the local elders were worried about us, the Cullens, but he thought the idea was just stupid.

Bella had been surprised by the legends, but being a very observant young woman, had put two and two together and had come up with _vampire _after doing some research online. She'd told me that she had wondered about us. All of us with the same eye color, but not actually related. The way our eyes changed from gold to black and back again. The coolness of my skin and Alice's. The beauty of all of us.

She had not believed the rumor that Carlisle used plastic surgery to perfect each of us. I had found myself chuckling at that one.

Although I had tried to keep my speed and strength from her, I had apparently let my guard down a time or three and she had noticed it. I was always way too comfortable with her and it showed.

After realizing that the legends could be true, she'd said that she'd realized that it didn't matter _what_ I was, because she knew _who_ I was and that was the important part of the whole relationship.

Relationship…she wanted to talk about our relationship and how she wanted to have one with me. _With me_…

When she took me by my cold hand and held it to her cheek, I'd told her that I was willing to do anything and everything necessary to have a relationship with her, for as long as she would allow.

My un-beating heart had nearly started beating when she said one word.

"Forever."

That word, in her sweet voice, had brought my thoughts to a standstill for several long moments.

She doesn't know just how long forever may be—yet—but at that word, I decided that I would tell her everything at the meadow on Saturday. Alice hadn't seen her as one of us, only as a human marrying me. I'm not sure how I feel about her changing into one of us. I know that one lifetime won't be enough time for me to love her. But changing her? I just don't know.

At that point her stomach had rumbled, loudly, and she'd asked if she could have a human moment, that maybe we could find a drive-through so she could have a bite to eat. That had brought up whether I would be eating too. Instead of looking shocked at my diet, she had wondered if the different animals we ate tasted any different. My mate is amazing. Not only is she comfortable with me, she is so accepting, her mind open to the possibilities. When I had asked if she wasn't afraid that she would become dinner, she'd laughed and said it hadn't happened yet, so why should she be afraid.

She really is wonderful.

After buying her a cheeseburger, we had driven back to Forks. She had asked several more questions, which I tried to answer as honestly as possible. Once I had parked in her driveway, neither one of us wanted to leave the car, but her father was looking out the window; her curfew was close. I had promised that we would talk later and she smiled at me before pressing her cheek to mine. The heat from her rosy skin warmed me far more than just the portion of skin she touched. While we leaned against each other, she had asked if this made us boyfriend and girlfriend.

She'd giggled quietly at my fervent agreement.

I had asked if I could pick her up in the morning to drive her to school and she had agreed.

My hopes are great, as I think back on how she has accepted things that seem to be beyond comprehension. The vision of our marriage, at some point, is still very clear. When I had arrived home, after apologizing to me about not seeing the attack, that was the next thing that Alice checked on.

Now, all I have to do is wait another few hours and I can pick Bella up at home. I am hoping that driving her to and from school will become another habit that I can enjoy.

I intend to take our relationship another small step forward. I'm going to hold her hand as we walk into the school. Surely that's what a boyfriend would do, right? She's asked for a relationship, one that includes her version of forever, so I intend to step up and be her boyfriend in every way possible.

I will have to give a great deal of thought as to what forever really means. I can't believe that in all the years that I've known of the vision of her becoming my wife, I've never thought about changing her. Have I been in denial? It bears thinking about.

Right now I'm going to think about picking up my girlfriend and driving her to school in the morning.

* * *

><p>AN...this was actually the last bit that I had written before the contest was over. And I had stopped it at the word "forever". I have now added something like 600 words to it...and his fears of what FOREVER really means...he's going to need to think about that...since he never has. How much has he really changed during these years as he's waited for his mate? Yes, he needs to think about that.

Again, thank YOU all for your support of this story. You have touched my heart!

Kathie


	13. March 11, 2005

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**March 11, 2005**

The past three days have made me happier than I ever hoped I could be. I'm writing this as Alice and I take a break from hunting. She's texting Jasper while she sits in a small ray of sunshine.

I left school at lunch today so that I could get a good feeding in before I take Bella to my meadow tomorrow; I've been putting it off, but just can't any longer. Emmett and the others said that they'd keep an eye on Bella for me. There were still a couple of the younger boys hoping to coerce Bella into asking them to the dance tomorrow.

When I had helped Bella from the car at the school on Wednesday morning, after she knew what I am, I had held my hand out to her. She had happily taken it and woven her fingers between mine. The grin on her face matched mine as we strolled to the door of the school, hand in hand. Since we had already walked together to classes and sat with each other at lunch for the past couple of weeks, most of the students only glanced at our clasped hands and moved on.

Mike Newton was the only one who was surprised. From his thoughts I gathered that he had held out hope that I would tire of Bella's company soon and that he could swoop in and take my place in her life. Little does he know that that will never happen; I will never tire of her company. I must confess to having grinned at him in a gloating manner as we passed him in the hallway. I may have shown my teeth just a little too much because he scurried away in the opposite direction, confusion and fear filling his mind. I enjoyed that moment, a lot.

Later one, we were sitting alone at lunch for a change, when Bella suddenly stopped still, a look of concentration on her face. I'd asked her what was wrong as I glanced around the lunchroom looking for danger. I could tell that something had disturbed her.

She'd been still for a few more minutes before she asked, "Edward, how did you know where to find me in Port Angeles? How did you know that I was in trouble?"

I'd heard the assorted gasps from my siblings where they sat on the other side of the busy room. Emmett's laugh had rung out and he had thought, "_Busted_!"

Then Alice had sent me a thought, "_Tell her the truth. She can handle it_."

The middle of the cafeteria really wasn't the place for this conversation and I had asked her if we could step outside. There was the usual drizzle falling from the sky so she agreed that we could sit in the Volvo.

After a slow start, I had told her that I could read minds…all minds…except for hers. She had shocked me when she'd asked what was wrong with her. I had quickly told her that she was perfect, to which she had scoffed. Then she'd said she always knew she ran on a different wave-length than other people. She'd pointed out that that had explained the how, but not the why of how I'd found her.

After my explanation, Bella had been fascinated by Alice's gift, asking how it worked. She'd told me that my gift must be a great burden to bear, with no way to turn it off. There was laughter in her voice when she told me that she was glad that I couldn't read her mind as there was lots of scary stuff in it. Her cheeks had blushed a lovely shade of rose which made me think that some of her thoughts might be a lot more interesting than others. Which made me think that my cheeks would have been pink, too, if they could have been!

We have spent the last two days asking each other questions: Favorite colors, music, places to visit, books that we've read, movies we've liked. It has been endlessly fun getting to know her. I've been making plans about surprises for her. Although she says she hates surprises. I will have to find a way to work around that.

I can't quite sum up how much I've enjoyed this time, just getting to really know her, and sharing myself with her.

Emmett had texted us earlier that Bella had caught him glaring at one of the freshmen boys that had thought to approach her about the dance. He said that he had had to explain his actions, but instead of being mad, Bella had been grateful. She'd recounted some of the ambushes she'd seen and reiterated that she never wanted to be in that position. Emmett was thrilled that he could act as her protector.

Before we continue hunting, I have just asked Alice to take a look at some nomads that she's been keeping an eye on for us. They were meandering around the Seattle area for the past week.

Alice just assured me that they appear to be heading north, and not coming anywhere near us. They were just a few of the reasons that I'm glad my family is near Bella right now. I want to be there too, but I really need to feed before I am with Bella for the entire day.

I can't wait to spend more time with her…and to show her my meadow. Alice assures me that the sun will be shining and maybe the vision from so long ago can come true: Bella seeing me in my true vampire skin. In the vision she hadn't appeared scared or worried. Now that I know her, I'm sure she won't be.

Alice has seen a vision of me taking down a mountain lion on the other side of the mountain we are currently on. She's threatened to beat me to it. That is not going to happen.

* * *

><p>AN...as you may have noticed...I'm following the timeline from the TWILIGHT LEXICON...and then twisting the events to suit myself.

So...March 12...the MEADOW!

AND the meet and greet with the family...

AND the baseball game...with NOMADS...

I do realize that Edward could write all of his impressions of what goes on in, like, a minute!

HUMAN here! LOL...

So...I think that I will do it in three chunks...because I can see what's going to happen...but unless you want to wait a WEEK to get this...then I really need to do it in smaller chunks...so, that's the plan. And I may not be able to update DAILY with these longer ones...we'll see.

Can't thank you all enough for your support...it touches me more than you can know!

Kathie


	14. March 12, 2005 the Meadow

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**March 12, 2005...the Meadow**

Bella had insisted that we drive her truck to the trailhead since I had driven us to school the last couple of days. She said that her truck was lonely. After it had coughed and sputtered a time or two, she'd agreed that maybe Rosalie could take a look at it. I know that Rose has been looking forward to that opportunity.

Once parked, Bella had asked how far our destination was, pointing out that hiking was not her strong suit. When I explained that it was several miles in, she suggested we just sit down where we were. I mentioned my speed and strength and offered to let her ride on my back while I ran us to where we were going. She'd asked if I'd be going _vampire_ speed and at my nod, she'd sighed and agreed, deciding it was better to get there so we could spend the time together. She was also worried that she'd sprain—or break—an ankle and that would really ruin our day together. She had no idea that I'd _never_ let something like _that_ happen to her.

I'm not sure that I can explain how good it felt to have Bella on my back and wrapped around my body. My inner 17 year old boy stood up and cheered. That was a surprise to me, as I hadn't known that he even existed in that fashion. I'd hoped, but didn't _know_. I could never let Emmett know of this situation, or I'd never be able to live it down.

I had worried that Alice would see the circumstances and tell them. Then I decided that it didn't matter if she had. This proved the theory wrong that I had been changed too young. I know that Carlisle and Esme had worried about that as the years before the Bella vision had come and gone and I'd never noticed a woman in that way.

As I write this, afterwards, I know that Alice had told, and the scene with Emmett was teasing, but I'd just smiled. Because I did smile while I enjoyed her heat wrapped around me. My mind had run to other ways that might happen and I'd had to force myself to refocus. I am very good at running, don't have to think about it, but that path led a full portion of my mind into inattention, which was not a good thing when I had the love of my life in my care.

All during the last part of the week, after she had confirmed what I was, all of the questions we'd asked each other hadn't had anything to do with what it means to be a vampire. I told her that we needed privacy for those questions and she'd agreed to wait until our _date_ this weekend. Although she had told me that she had about a million questions regarding my _otherness_; I'd agreed that we'd definitely talk about that and I'd answer any questions she had on the subject.

While we were still in the car on the way home from Port Angeles, instead of questioning whether my family was also _other_, Bella had _stated_ that my family was the same as me and I had nodded. She'd looked at them with knowing eyes on Wednesday, had shaken her head and then continued on like nothing had changed. She is very accepting, which shocks and pleases me.

Our _date_…yes, it brought me a lot of joy to think those words. The teasing I'd received from Emmett has been worth it.

When we got to the edge of the meadow and I released her, it had taken her awhile to find her balance. I suggested that she close her eyes the next time. A smile had crossed her face as I mentioned a _next time, _and she'd agreed to try that.

Once she was stable on her feet, I'd let her wander into the sun-filled meadow on her own. She'd turned back and asked if I couldn't come into the sunshine, if something bad would happen. She knew that we didn't stay in school on sunny days and she wondered out loud if I would burst into flames. This was the moment from the second vision and I'd found myself afraid to move forward. Taking a deep breath, I'd rolled up my sleeves, unbuttoned four buttons on my shirt…and stepped into the sun.

A gasp had left Bella's throat and I'd closed my eyes. I'd felt her approach as the connection we shared sizzled at her nearness. I'd finally opened my eyes, fearful of what I'd see on her countenance. The scene from the vision played out in real time, her coming near me, the awe on her face…and her hand touching my cheek and sliding down to where my quiet heart lay.

She'd said, "Edward, you are beautiful." The stroke of her hand had warmed me even more than the sunshine. I'd always been aware of the connection we shared; there was some hint of rightness when we touched hands. This caress, her reaching freely for me, our skin on skin contact, was so very intimate. Her heart was beating like a hummingbird's and I was sure that if mine could have beat, it would have been keeping time with hers.

We'd sat and as she held my hand we'd discussed the things that are _vampire_. Some of her questions made me laugh and point out that Hollywood pushed those stereotypes out there. Of course, some of the myths were based on truth and we dissected those ideas.

She'd said that when she suspected what we all were, she'd thought—briefly—about filling a squirt gun with holy water and spraying one of us. But she'd already liked us so much and she hadn't wanted to hurt anyone. I told her that Emmett probably would have played it up, just to mess with her, but that it wouldn't have harmed us.

We spoke further of our diet and she asked if other vampires also drank from animals. She'd shivered a little when I told her about those with red eyes and what that meant. Then I'd asked if she were afraid of us. Once again she surprised me by saying _no_. That she felt that if we were going to hurt her, it would have happened long before now. She pointed out that it was March 12 and we had known each other since the 18th of January.

She also mentioned that cheeseburger I had bought her on Tuesday. She said she couldn't see that big of a difference between eating the meat of an animal and just drinking its blood.

Then Bella had asked for a demonstration of my strength and speed. She had seen me going a little faster than what was considered human already and she'd felt the speed as we came up to the meadow. Leaving her standing in the middle of the sun-filled space, I'd quickly built a tower of rocks four feet high in front of her. Then I'd paused, pointed out a huge boulder on one side of the meadow and in the blink of an eye—to her at least—I'd moved it to the other side. She'd asked if all vampires were that strong and fast. Her eyes had widened when I told her that Emmett was the strongest vampire I'd ever known.

I'm not sure how he would have taken her comment of: "He seems like a big teddy bear to me."

That had led into some discussion of how she had been protected from marauding students for the dance. Shaking her head, she'd again said she was glad that we had protected her. The blush on her cheeks warmed me and I'd brushed the back of my hand along the curve of her face. She'd leaned into my touch and melted my heart.

We sat back down and she asked if all of my family had gifts like my mind reading and Alice's psychic ability. After telling her about Jasper and his empathetic abilities, I'd decided that that this part of our discussion might be a good place to bring up the visions that Alice had had of the two of us.

I asked her to keep an open mind and told her about the vision that Alice had had of us on May 18, 1969. I only told her that there was a group of us, with her and me as the central focus, but not that it appeared to be our wedding, in a far distant future. She'd asked how we could have been around in 1969, as none of us looked old enough for that.

Taking a breath, I'd told her that vampires don't change—at all—once they become one. That's when she'd asked how old I was. She cocked her head in disbelief when I said seventeen. I'd told her about being born in 1901 in Chicago and then falling ill in 1918 and Carlisle giving into my mother's last request. At that point Bella had said that she had other questions about that and she'd be asking them later. She wanted to know more about the visions that led my family to her.

I'd continued telling her about Alice's next visions. The one with Renee taking her away from Charlie had caused her eyes to well up with tears. After recounting the van incident, she'd said she'd have to thank Emmett and Jasper for the lack of black ice in the parking lot.

That's when I'd told her that I, that all of us, would do anything to keep her safe.

She'd pressed me for details of some of the visions and while she was shocked over the vision of me killing everyone, including her, in Biology, she was grateful that we'd found a way to circumvent that massacre. She'd wondered where some of her clothes had gone and had been surprised by the $100 bill in her jeans' pocket.

After more questions, she'd gotten quiet. Her silent mind made me crazed and I finally asked what she was thinking about.

With a blush on her face she'd asked why we all cared about her so much, why we'd go to so much trouble to keep her safe…why I'd waited so long to meet her. She could kind of understand not meeting her as a baby, but why now? She'd mentioned again that thirty-six years was a long time to wait, and why should I have? Why would I want to?

Bella had been playing with my fingers during this part of our conversation; holding them up and watching the sunshine splinter off in rainbow arcs. I had taken her hand and lifted it to my lips and pressed a kiss to her palm before turning her wrist so that I could gently sniff the aroma of her blood. It still burned, but it reassured me too—reassured me that she is here, with me, and not waiting in some distant future that I'm still looking forward to.

I'd thought back to the visions and to the way I could feel our connection, without being able to read her mind. I remembered how she'd asked if we were now boyfriend and girlfriend and I made a decision. It was time to tell her all of the truth about the visions, but I'd thought that she'd need a bit of space. I'd stood and taken several steps away from her.

Turning back, I'd looked deeply into her gorgeous brown eyes and retold the first vision, without leaving out any of the details.

Bella had listened, her eyes growing wider, as I finished by saying that in the vision I had slipped a wedding band onto her finger.

Another long silence had lasted through several beats of her heart and then she'd stood and taken the five steps to stand before me.

Her eyes and words had pinned me in place. "Thirty-six years ago you saw our wedding? Before I was even born?" At my nod she'd turned and paced away from me. Her heart was beating faster and I could see her shoulders rise as she breathed heavily. She'd turned and a small smile had lifted the corners of her mouth.

Then she'd said, "If you've seen us getting married, and we are in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, shouldn't I have a kiss by this point?"

I'd been stunned at her words and then before I'd even had time to think about it, I was standing in front of her, a hand on each of her blushing cheeks. Tensing most of my muscles, to keep myself in check, I'd asked her to be very still. She'd nodded and very slowly, giving her the chance to deny me, I'd leaned in until our lips were touching very softly.

A quiet gasp had left her throat and then she'd leaned into me. It didn't matter how many kisses I'd seen through the minds around me during my very long life. This kiss was perfect.

It had started soft, with barely any pressure and then had built, still with only our lips touching, searching and moving gently. When we'd leaned back away from each other, we'd both grinned, widely. I'd thought that as far as first kisses went, this one was the best ever.

She'd made me laugh when she'd said, "This doesn't mean we're engaged. I'm not sure I even believe in marriage."

I'd made _her_ laugh when I'd whispered, "That's okay, I never bet against Alice."

We'd kissed, softly again, a couple more times but then I'd noticed that twilight had begun to gather. It was time to return and she'd happily taken a ride on my back to her truck. I'd felt her lips a couple of times as she'd pressed them to my shoulder. A shiver would go through me each time and I'm sure she noticed the effect she was having on me.

When we'd stopped at the parking lot, we'd shared another kiss as I pressed her to the side of the truck. I don't think that I'll ever get tired of that, especially as we'd wrapped our arms around each other that time. I knew she was hugging me tightly around my waist, but I worked very hard to not exert too much pressure on her. The sounds she made as she cuddled close to me nearly took my breath away. The heat of her body as she pressed against me lit a fire clear to my bones. It was hard for both of us to lean away from each other. She'd nodded happily when I'd told her that we'd have ample opportunity to do more of that…later.

Bella had let me drive her home, while she sat tucked against my side, my arm holding her close. We'd talked about inconsequential things. Shifting her old truck was tricky with my arm around her, but worth it. She'd agreed to come meet the rest of my family in the morning. I'd told Esme that I'd ask and she was really looking forward to it.

Bella had laughed when I'd said that Esme would cook lunch for her if she came over. She'd asked how a vampire, who only drank blood, could cook. My answer was: _The Food Channel; _it's not just for humans. Another of her gentle laughs had washed over me and I was grateful for that moment, that perfect moment, where we were just together.

I'd walked her to her door and we'd kissed a few more times, our arms wrapped around one another. When she'd stifled a yawn, I'd opened her door and told her that I'd see her in the morning. It was hard leaving and I was tempted to stay, to maybe watch her from the tree outside her window. But that seemed to take the stalker-tendencies that I already had into a whole other realm and I resisted the urge.

When I'd arrived at home, Alice was waiting at the side of the house. I'd rapidly shifted through several decisions on what I could say about my day that wouldn't bring too much teasing from Emmett or Jasper. Alice had smiled when I'd settled on just enough to make Esme happy and not enough to force me to beat Emmett for his responses to my words. Then she'd hugged me and told me, "Only eleven hours until you can see her again!"

I'd smiled through the retelling of my day, keeping some secrets to myself, and then I'd retired to my piano.

It was a lovely day and the best part? I get to see Bella again for most of the day tomorrow. Life is good and she certainly has been worth the wait.

* * *

><p><strong>AN…** I had to go back and READ the meadow scene, it's been that long, even though I read it like TEN times! Something that I found interesting was how GRUMPY Edward was. And snarky. And not THIS Edward…hmmm, I'm liking mine better…LOL

Silly me…I thought all those elements (Meadow, Meet&Greet, Baseball) were on the same day… So…the Meadow scene was on the 12th…the family meet and greet and the baseball game were on the 13th…thank you **Ginnie (VirginiaMay)**! That eases my mind about WHAT to write.

**Avidreader69**…Thanks for the holy water idea.

And thank you, **LJ Summers**…for the visual of Alice seeing that teenage moment…!

Also, I asked for input from **u2shay**, **LJ Summers** and **VirginiaMay**…and they all gave me some excellent advice. Thank you, Ladies, I do appreciate you very much. DO go and read their words…you will love them!

Probably going to be two days again…maybe three…before I can update. Our family volunteers at a therapeutic riding stable on Fridays and it makes for a very long day. So no more writing today.

Again, I cannot thank you all for the lovely hits, reviews, rec's, alerts, and favorites that you all are sending my way. YOU all ROCK! Thank you!

**EDITING TO ADD:** Me and math are a bad mix...I've FIXED the years! Thanks, **u2shay** and **TwilightMomofTo**!

**Kathie** (at)**GuardingKatmom** on twitter


	15. March 13, 2005 Part 1 Meet & Greet

**EAC: The Journal of Edward Cullen**

**March 13, 2005…Meeting the rest of the family**

I had waited in the tree line for two hours this morning, waiting for Bella to wake so that we could go to my home so she could meet my _parents_. Charlie had risen at five and left shortly thereafter. His brief phone call to Billy Black had reminded me that I needed to be careful about the treaty and, maybe, tell Bella about it.

When I'd heard Bella's footsteps on the stairs, I had listened to the minds in the surrounding homes, but no neighbors were looking in my direction so I had run to her front door and knocked. The stumble I heard had nearly made me knock down the door, but she'd righted herself and rushed the last couple of steps to fling the door open. A smile had lit her face and when she focused on my lips, a blush had filled her pretty cheeks. I hoped she was thinking the same thing as me, mainly that now we were in a relationship, surely greeting her with a kiss—or three—would be appropriate.

Her words, "I'm so glad you're here!" had barely left her lips before I had caught her to me and had begun kissing her. Suddenly she'd sagged limply against me. Once her eyes had focused again, she'd said that I had dazzled her into forgetting to breathe. On the one hand that was quite empowering, to know that I had that kind of sway over her, especially since I hadn't known I'd be any good at it, but on the other hand I realized that I had to be more careful with her than just controlling the strength in my arms and hands.

While she'd eaten a breakfast of cereal and a glass of juice, she'd asked what our house was like—if she'd see coffins and cobwebs. I'd laughed and told her that Esme would never allow a cobweb to even begin to grow in one of her homes. And then I'd told her that we don't sleep, ever. That had brought on another round of questions about what one does when one doesn't sleep. I'd mentioned reading, learning languages…playing the piano. She'd asked if I'd play for her at some point during our day together, and I'd agreed.

Once again we'd taken her truck, at Rose's request. She was there to greet us before the engine had even stopped its horrendous noise.

Bella had been impressed with Rose's sincere appreciation of the classic the truck could be with her tender care. After asking if Rosalie would teach her how to change a spark plug at some point, Bella had handed her keys over to the grinning vampire. Rose had called Emmett and he'd suddenly appeared in our midst, startling Bella into stepping back into my side.

He'd grabbed her—carefully—and swung her around like a ragdoll. Jasper had come and said that if he didn't stop that, he'd be wearing whatever gross thing she'd eaten for breakfast. Emmett had come to a stop and I'd peeled my dizzy, limp girlfriend from his arms. That's when Rose had smacked him on the back of the head and said, "Be careful with the human. If you hurt her, she won't let me play with her truck."

Bella had laughed and only startled a little when Alice again seemed to appear out of nowhere and hugged her. Alice was already planning shopping trips and sleepovers. Bella appeared cautious but interested.

I'd chuckled at Esme's thoughts in the house. She had wanted to run out too, but seemed to think that a bit of decorum was called for from the _parents_ of the household. Carlisle was following her lead as he waited inside, too.

Once I'd pulled Bella from Alice's clutches, we'd entered the house. Esme's mind had been filled with how pretty and charming Bella looked; how nice it was to actually see her and not just through drawings and pictures. Esme had approached Bella slowly, thinking that everyone else had had the opportunity to hug her and she wanted a turn too. Esme had become overwhelmed when she opened her arms for a hug and Bella had stepped into them without any hesitation.

When Bella had commented on the aroma wafting through the house, Esme had said she was making lasagna and it would be ready in a couple of hours. Bella had told her that they'd need to swap some recipes. She was trying to get Charlie to eat better, but he had balked when she put some frozen spinach in his spaghetti. Esme had laughed and said surely they could come up with something for him.

When Carlisle had stepped forward, Bella gasped just a little. That dazzled look was on her face and I found myself wanting to growl. Esme had sent me the thought that most human women, and some men, looked that way when they met her husband for the first time.

Bella had told Carlisle that she was glad that she hadn't met him professionally yet. He'd chuckled and said that he'd already seen her file at the hospital and was also glad that she hadn't come through the ER doors.

She'd turned to me and asked, "They can hear me outside, right?" At my nod, she'd lifted her voice just a little and said, "Thanks, Emmett and Jasper, for fixing the parking lot so that I didn't need to meet your dad due to black ice back in January." We had heard their startled chuckles from the yard and they'd told her "no problem."

We'd begun a tour of the house, and when Bella had seen the piano, she'd asked me to play for her. She'd wanted to see what all of my practice had accomplished, since I never sleep. After playing several songs, including Esme's favorite, I had played the lullaby that I'd written for Bella when she was born. By the end she'd laid her head on my shoulder as we sat on the bench, and a soft sigh had wafted over my chest. When I told her that it was her lullaby, tears had filled her eyes. She'd cupped my cheek and gave me a sweet kiss on my lips. We'd both startled when we'd heard a something at the door. It was Esme and she was thinking that we looked perfect sitting there together.

I had taken Bella's hand and continued the tour of the house. When we reached my bedroom, I'd paused. She'd asked why and I told her that the décor was based on years of waiting, waiting for her; that it was part of the process of keeping her close to me, and later, on keeping her alive. Bella had looked confused until I pushed the door open and then she'd gasped.

My room, like all the ones I'd had since that first vision, was decorated with Bella. Paintings in oil, acrylic, pencil—and even a small sculpture of her face with her hair tumbling about her shoulders—were displayed everywhere.

Bella had looked at me and then walked from one painting to the next. She'd paused longest at the one in pencil of Charlie holding a baby Bella in his arms. The look on his face always touched me. I appreciated how he loved her, before I could.

She'd asked questions about the visions, again, as she'd seen the proof before her eyes. I'd offered her my journals to read and she'd accepted. She'd asked for the ones with the visions in them. Although I had many journals, I'd kept all of my thoughts relating to Bella in one particularly heavy, thick one. It was constructed out of hand-made parchment and leather. This was the one that I gave her to look through. We'd sat together on my black couch as she'd flipped through the pages filled with my words. At a couple of points she put her finger into the book to hold the place while she continued reading.

When she'd read about the stalking she said she'd want to come back to that. But first she'd asked if I'd been in her house before today. She'd seemed relieved to know that I hadn't been although she did shake her head at my watching her from the tree line at the school and at her home.

After about an hour she'd looked at me then back to the places she had marked. She'd then read my words out loud, adding particular emphasis on some of my words:

**January 25, 1981...I promised myself that when we are in the high school parking lot during any inclement weather, this scenario won't have a chance of happening. I'll be right there beside this young woman who, even though I haven't met her yet, **_**already holds my heart**_**. I will protect her with my life.**

**January 1, 2005…It's hard to believe that in days I will be meeting the woman **_**who has owned me for so many years.**_

**January 18, 2005…**_**There is so much hope in my future and it all starts now**_**.**

**February 28, 2005… There's **_**a connection between us**_**; I can see in her eyes that she feels something too and I am awed and humbled.**

**March 8, 2005… **_**I was willing to do anything and everything necessary to have a relationship with her**_**, for as long as she would allow.**

My beautiful Bella had looked at me and asked me what this meant, if it meant what she hoped it did. Her heart had been in her eyes and I'd knelt before her. Taking her hands in mine, I'd said the words that had been in my heart for thirty-six years:

"Bella, you are my life now. I love you more than I ever thought possible." The entire house full of vampires had silenced as they waited to hear her response.

She'd leaned forward and pressed her forehead to mine, her eyes closing as she breathed deeply. Her hands had buried themselves in my hair and I'd waited, agonizing, as she gathered the words she wanted to say.

My heart had nearly exploded as she'd whispered, "I love you, too, Edward. More than I can even say."

∞EAC∞

I now write this as Bella and Esme are chatting over lunch. Bella was enthralled to hear that Esme, after learning about the human that would soon be among us, had learned to cook by reading Martha Stewart's books. She'd told Bella that when cooking shows came into fashion, she'd watched them all. Carlisle's colleagues had benefited from her practicing in every place we've lived.

The women are now delving deeply into a discussion of heart-healthy recipes to use on Charlie. I hope they will taste good enough that he won't suspect that they are good for him. Bella needs her father with her for a very long time and his diet is certainly not conducive to that.

I'd still be there in the kitchen with them, basking in the fact that Bella loves me, touching her arm and hand gently at every turn, but I know that Esme really wanted a bit more alone time with her. Several of us have been with her all of these days at school and now it's Esme's turn. I'm trying not to begrudge her this time with my girl.

After Bella had said she loved me, while I knelt at her feet, we'd kissed for several minutes. Bella had said, after our first kiss, after our first _I love yous_, that she still wasn't engaged. I'd heard Alice laugh from her room, while I just shook my head.

I had been shocked at the venom that had pooled in my mouth at her statement. Vampire that I am, I wanted to mark her as my own, to take her, to keep her for eternity. I'd had to swallow several times to get the venom out of my mouth. Our kisses had begun to deepen and I was worried about my teeth and what the toxin might do to her. The whimper she'd uttered as I'd pulled away had caused the venom to pool again. She'd listened to my caution on how sharp my teeth were and my worry over the unknown effects that my venom might have on her. Clever girl that she is, she'd told me to ask around so that we could kiss more. I'd laughed and told her that I would. And then we'd kissed again.

Alice had finally interrupted us, saying that she wanted to return the clothes that she and Jasper had borrowed. Bella had been surprised at how few pieces had survived my desensitizing regimen. She'd called a _thank you_ to Rosalie for that idea. Rose had responded with a loud "you're welcome" from the garage. She was too busy tinkering on the truck to come into the house.

Alice had also mentioned that there would be a storm late this afternoon and Emmett wanted to play baseball. I'd invited Bella and she said she'd love to watch.

After she's done eating, and chatting with Esme, she'll drive her somewhat quieter truck home and I'll meet her there in Emmett's Jeep. We'll need it to get to the bottom of the trail to our game field.

So far, this has been the best day of my life. Bella loves me! And my family loves her. She is so accepting of all of us. She makes us feel more human. She fits so well with us, especially with me. I can't get enough of touching her warm skin and feeling her respond to me. I've written this out, now, because the way I feel is too big to hold inside me. Setting my feelings down here has helped.

Now I'm going to go and steal her away from Esme. There will be plenty of time for them to chat at the game. Bella can help Esme keep us on the straight and narrow. Well, she can at least _try_. We tend to cheat terribly while we play. It's all in good fun and tonight is going to be more fun than we've ever had. I have my own cheering team now. I can't imagine a better day, unless it's actually _on_ my wedding day.

I love Bella…and she loves me. My life is more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be. And it's only going to get better.

I'm going to go get my girl so that we can play baseball!

* * *

><p>AN…**u2shay** has given me a few pointers that I hope made this smoother for you. And **LJ Summers** has cheered me on and laughed WITH me about a few things. Always good input from both of these talented writers. DO check out their works…you won't be disappointed!

I've been writing the previous journal entries based on the timeline at THE TWILIGHT LEXICON. Here it is, with the journal entries interspersed in bold and italics:

1950

Alice and Jasper find Carlisle and join his family.

**1969 **_**May 18, 1969…Wedding vision**_

_**June 20, 1976…Meadow vision**_

_**January 25, 1981…Parking Lot vision**_

1987

September 13 – Isabella Swan born to Renee and Charlie Swan in Forks, Washington

_**September 13, 1987…Bella's birth vision**_

1989

March – Renee leaves Charlie, takes Bella to Riverside, CA.

_**March 7, 1989…Renee leaving Charlie vision**_

1993

Renee and Bella move to Phoenix, AZ.

_**January 18, 2001…Edward killing Bella vision**_

1996-2002

Bella visits Charlie in Forks for one month in the summer.

2003

The Cullen family arrive in Forks, Washington.

2005 –

_**January 1, 2005...Edward prepares to meet Bella**_

17th (Mon) – Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington.

18th (Tue) – She meets Edward Cullen who is drawn to her blood. Edward leaves Forks for Alaska for one week to avoid killing Bella.

_**January 18, 2005…Their first meeting**_

24th (Mon) – Edward returns to Forks

25th (Tue) – Car accident

26th – March 1st (Tue) – Edward avoids Bella

_**February 28, 2005…Taking things slowly**_

March

2nd (Wed.) – Bella is asked to the dance by Mike, Eric, and Tyler. Edward spends the night in Bella's room without her being aware of it

3rd (Thurs.) – Bella sits with Edward at lunch – Blood testing – Bella nearly passes out and Edward drives her home.

4th (Fri) – Edward hunts with Emmett

5th (Sat) – Bella goes to First Beach and meets Jacob Black – Jacob tells Bella about the cold ones being the enemy of the wolf – Bella has a horrible dream about Edward.

6th (Sun) – Bella searches the Internet for information about vampires – she walks in the wood to clear her head.

7th (Mon) – Very sunny – Edward does not attend school

_**March 7, 2005…What did Bella learn at the beach?**_

8th (Tues) – Sunny again – Edward does not attend school – Bella shops in Port Angeles and is nearly attacked by thugs – Edward saves her and admits he is a vampire and that he can hear everyone's thoughts but Bella's.

_**March 8, 2005…Port Angeles, Thugs…and coming clean**_

9th (Wed) – Edward and Bella let it be known they are a "couple" – Bella asks all the questions.

10th (Thurs) – Edward's turn to ask questions.

_**March 11, 2005…Getting to know one another**_

11th (Fri) – Edward leaves after lunch to hunt with Alice.

**_March 12, 2005…The Meadow_**

12th (Sat) – Edward takes Bella to the Meadow. They spend the night together with Edward just holding Bella as she sleeps.

_**March 13, 2005…Part 1…Meeting the Rest of the Family**_

13th (Sun) – Edward introduces Bella to his family – the baseball game – James targets Bella –

**After the NEXT entry**…the baseball game and the nomads…things are going to change, a LOT. I'm thinking on what I want to add…I've got some of your ideas to inspire me, so there will be more coming…I'm just not sure how fast. I need to write the epi for EMERALDS TO RUBIES…and Volterra has been chatting me up for DRAGON STONES' final chapter. AND I've got an idea or two for the next round of THE CANON TOUR. DO put me on **author alert** if you want to see any of these things. **Now I'm off to write the BASEBALL GAME…**should be interesting…remember three to seven…I'm actually doing MATH…scary thought, that.

Thanks, again, so very much for all of your lovely reviews. You all really ARE marvelous!

**Kathie** GuardingKatmom on twitter


	16. March 13, 2005 Part 15 Charlie extra

_**.**_

_**THE LEMONADE STAND voting for FIC OF THE WEEK has ended and **_

_**EAC came in 7th! You all are the best!**_

_**THANK YOU for your votes.**_

I'm going to confess, I'm added this little journal entry so that you all would know about **THE LEMONADE STAND POLL**…Yes, I was looking for votes…but, you got this bit while I got the word out about the Poll.

_**My readers are the best ever and I really can't thank you enough.**_

I'd already planned to say SOMETHING along these lines, but it wouldn't have been nearly this long. This way I can take it a bit further than I would have in the Journal Entry for the Baseball Game/Nomads. THAT really will be the next bit to post.

**Also, this is not QUITE in the right tense. Please forgive me!**

Poor Edward…his day was SO happy…and then came Jacob…

Enjoy? Do bear in mind that I don't "do" love triangles.

.

* * *

><p><strong>EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen<strong>

**March 13, 2005**

**Part 1.5…Charlie...before the Baseball Game**

Today started out as the best day of my life. I had told Bella that I loved her; she had said that she loved me too. We'd spent an incredible day with my family and then she had driven her slightly quieter truck home. I'd followed a short time afterwards, after changing into my baseball uniform and gathering a hat and shirt for her to wear.

As attuned as I am to Bella's heartbeat, I knew that something was disturbing her as soon as I turned Emmett's jeep onto her road. Charlie's police cruiser was in the driveway; Bella's truck was beside it. But behind the sedan was another vehicle…with Reservation plates.

I'd tuned into the minds that seemed to overfill Bella's home. Charlie's was cloudy, as always, but I kept getting flashes of satisfaction…and a name. He was thinking that although Bella seemed happy with me, he thought she was too young to settle on just one guy. Not that he wanted her dating around, but surely she should look at her options.

Her option as in the young Black boy—Jacob Black. There had been a flash of two children making mud pies. One of the children had been my Bella. My guess was that the other was Jacob.

Another mind, William Black's, was busy with the fact that his best friend's daughter was dating, or at least seeing, one of the Cold Ones. I already knew that he was Jacob's father and the descendent of the old Chief, Ephraim Black, that we had made a treaty with so long ago. The name of Sam Uley kept coming to the fore in his mind. He felt that Sam, the Alpha, should know about this development. I was able to see that Sam had already phased into his wolf form, apparently a few months ago. Two other young men, in their wolf forms, were flanking Sam in William's mind.

Billy, as Charlie was calling him, was most concerned about his son, Jacob. A thread of thought was woven through his worries for Bella; that Jacob would also phase because of the nearness of my family.

_Jacob_. His mind was easy to hear in the churning speculation that was running rampant through the house. He was thinking that Bella looked "mighty fine" in her tight shirt and snug blue jeans. He was also thinking that when she came over for dinner on Tuesday, he'd take her out to the garage and …

That's when I had leaped to the door and knocked—loudly.

Bella's step approached the door and she had swung it wide. A grin had filled her lovely face and I'd felt relief that she seemed so happy to see me. She'd quickly filled me in. Her father was insisting that she join him when he had dinner at Billy's place on Tuesday. He'd guilted her into agreeing because he said it was his turn to do dinner and he was doing it at Billy's place.

Silence had reigned in the living room when I'd stepped into the entryway. Then I'd heard guilt from Charlie as he tried to reassure himself that pointing out options to Bella was a good thing. Even though he could see how happy she was with me. Fear that she'd be tied down like Renée had felt permeated his thoughts.

Fear and a steely determination had been in Billy's mind when he saw me. He and the Elders had told their people to avoid the Forks Hospital when Carlisle had started work there. Some of the Elders had seen him and a couple of us around but this was the first time that Billy had seen me. He'd decided at that point that I must be using some kind of _weird vampire magic_—his words—to attract Bella to me. The treaty kept his mouth closed, but he really wanted to tell Charlie to keep Bella away from me.

Jacob, on the other hand, was measuring himself against me. His thoughts were that he couldn't see the attraction and he'd surely be able to make Bella like him more than me. I noticed that he had no clue as to my true nature. Which was why he had told Bella the old tales. He didn't believe them. I had wondered what the Elders would think if they knew he had broken the treaty.

Charlie had then greeted me and asked, "Baseball? Are you sure you want Bella to play baseball? Are you trying to get your dad and the hospital a few more bucks?" Everyone but Bella had laughed at that. My protective instincts had come to the front and I'd tucked her into my side. She'd come willingly, as all three men had seen. Shock had filled Billy's mind at the ease with which I held her and the happiness that radiated off of her at being so close to me. Jake, once again, thought that it should be him that she was standing next to.

I'd smiled gently down at my blushing Bella and had explained, "Bella will be umpiring with my mother, Esme. I'll be sure to keep her out of the line of fire."

While Bella had gone to get her jacket, Charlie had told me to bring her home safely. I'd assured him that I certainly would; that her safety was my goal.

As we left the house, I had tried to get my ire to settle down. I'd had a wonderful day so far, and it was only going to get better. Bella was coming with me and family to play baseball. I was sure that the day was going to end just as it had begun, happily.

I'd enjoy this time with my beloved and think about the treaty and young Jacob later.

* * *

><p>I appreciated your votes! Will be back in a couple of days, writing in the CORRECT tense for Edward's journal...with the BASEBALL GAME...and NOMADS.<p>

**EDITING TO ADD: I've started a POLL on my profile...I'm writing a bit for the WILDFIRES IN TEXAS RELIEF COMPILIATION. I just thought that maybe an outtake, a JOURNAL ENTRY, would be a fun one to write. But then I thought...WHOSE journal entry? You can VOTE to choose WHOSE entry I write. Thanks!**

Thank you all so very much. You make writing worthwhile!

Kathie (at)GuardingKatmom at twitter


	17. March 14, 2005 Let's Play Ball!

**.**

**.**

**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen**

**March 14, 2005…Monday…3:35 a.m.**

I would burn into this existence again for a hundred days, rather than go through what the last several hours have brought me—the fear of what could have happened.

Bella is asleep in her bed, with the blankets pulled up close under her chin as I sit in her rocking chair and write this entry. I'd still be in her bed with her—holding her, feeling the gentle passing of her breath on my cheek as she breathes in and out—if she hadn't started to shiver twenty minutes ago. I require an electric blanket for her bed. I'm sure that Alice is buying one even as I think of my need for it.

Again, a day that started out so incredibly joyful has shocked me and nearly broken my heart.

I need some distance from this day. I wish I could follow Bella into sleep; I'd surely dream of her. The steady beat of my beloved's heart beat is soothing me. It so easily could have been lost to me forever…she could have been lost to me forever. I'll allow the steady beat of her heart to comfort me as I write down the details of the previous hours.

∞**EAC∞**

While I'd helped Bella get settled into Emmett's jeep by snapping the multitude of buckles that made up the harness, she'd asked why a vampire needed such a yoke. I'd responded that we didn't, but the image of Emmett restraining Rosalie in it briefly passed through my mind. To block the image, I'd kissed her softly before grinning and settling a baseball cap on her head. Bella had commented on my uniform and I'd told her that it was based on an actual uniform from the Chicago Cubs' team in 1918. We all had uniforms when we played. It was part of the fun.

On our drive to the where we'd leave the jeep, we'd talked about what had just happened in her house. She'd said that Billy had looked at her strangely when she walked in and while her father told her about dinner on Tuesday at the Reservation.

She'd thought that the fathers had looked rather gleeful about the _date_ and she'd also thought that Jacob stood a little too close while chatting with her. She'd been startled at the growl that had pulsed through the jeep at her words. My ire had eased when she'd taken my hand and held it to her cheek. Her words soothed me:

_Edward, you have nothing to worry about. I love you. I'm going to dinner because my dad wants me to. But that's the only reason. Then I'll hurry back to you and call you from the house._

She'd said that maybe I could go too. I then had a dilemma. She knew the Quileute knows about us, but she didn't know that they had a secret of their own. She didn't know that they are shape-shifters. Even though young Jacob had basically told her what the tribe feared _we_ are, thereby breaking the treaty, if I told her the truth about _them_, then I'd be breaking it too.

We are adept at lying, we have to be. But I didn't want to lie to Bella so I decided to be devious instead. I asked her to remember the legend that Jacob had told her; what he'd said about the tribe. Then I asked her to remember when we were dissecting myths about vampires…and what the kernel of truth was. She'd asked if I had a point to this and at my nod she'd repeated the legend. When she got to the part about the protectors, I'd nodded. Her eyes had widened and she'd blown out a deep breath and said, "The world is bigger than I thought. Jacob?"

I'd shaken my head _no_ and said, "But maybe at some point and there _are_ protectors on the Reservation now. The treaty specifies that I cannot cross the line, so I won't be able to attend the dinner with you."

We'd reached the place where we would leave the jeep and run to the field. Bella had kissed me softly and told me that she'd call the minute she got back to the house on Tuesday. That's when I decided she needed a cell phone of her own.

After enjoying her warmth as we ran, I'd decided that I'd have to run much slower on our way back to the jeep. I was pretty sure that there were few things better than having her wrapped around me like that. Well, there were a couple of things that _might_ be better, my inner seventeen year old had whispered. I'd shaken off that thought when we arrived at the field.

Bella had been shocked at the space between the bases when she saw Carlisle marking them. I'd just smiled and told her that this wasn't the baseball games that she was used to seeing Charlie watch.

Esme had come over when we arrived and wrapped an arm around Bella to lead her to the where the two would stand as umpires. She was giving her tips on what to watch out for; the ways that we would try to cheat. Bella's giggle was music to my ears.

The rumble of thunder in the distance, while the storm poured down on Forks, had been our cue to start playing. We'd only had a light mist at our field. Once the game started, I couldn't believe how much fun I was having, knowing that Bella was cheering me on. Carlisle, Alice and I would be up in points; then Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie would.

At one point Alice was haranguing Emmett over a strike when Bella had waded in to push them apart. They were shocked that she would even try and had stepped back in surprise. Then Emm had picked her up and raced around the bases with her cuddled to his chest while he laughed like a maniac.

I would have been worried, but Bella's laughter had mingled with Emmett's and all we could do was laugh with them.

Moments later I wondered if I would ever laugh again.

We were in the middle of the sixth inning; my team was in the outfield when Alice had stopped stock still on the pitcher's mound. I'd immediately focused with her on the vision that was in her mind. Seconds later I was standing next to Bella, my arms wrapped around her while I looked in the direction that the danger would approach us. She'd been confused as she'd gazed up into my face.

Our family had surrounded us at home plate as Alice told them of her vision:

_Three nomads—two males and a female with hair like a flame—entered our playing field and began talking to Carlisle. They were at ease until the leaner of the two men lifted his head and sniffed the air. He had lurched forward, his red eyes on Bella. He crouched and then lunged at her. I'd snarled as I stood in front of her in a protective stance before launching my own defense of her. In the melee that followed, Bella, who had been momentarily left unguarded, had been knocked aside by the red-head and when she hit the ground her head was at an odd angle, her eyes wide and staring._

As soon as the vision filled my mind, I'd thought to run with her as far and as fast as I could. Alice had shaken her head _no_ as the vision shifted and her soft voice had quickly filled the rest of the family in:

_We had apparently separated._ _Jasper, Bella and I were in a hotel room; the address on the flyer beside the phone read: Phoenix. _

Another shift_: Bella was alone in some large, open room with mirrors lining the walls. One of the nomads stepped into view and Bella was thrown into a mirror that broke into hundreds of shards of glass that flew around her. One impaled her leg. The nomad, in a blur, was beside her, biting her wrist as her body arched in pain._

I'd tucked Bella closer to me as I quickly came to another decision. We wouldn't run. We'd stay and protect our family.

Alice nodded as a third vision played out in her mind's eye. Before she was able to tell the family what it was, Carlisle had asked how long we had before they arrived. She'd said about ten minutes. I'd hurriedly told the family about my decision to make a stand and they'd agreed that we would protect our family. Jasper had immediately gone into combat mode and began formulating plans for our defense. He also had offensive plans from several different angles ready in seconds.

Bella had asked what was happening, as we had been speaking far too fast for her to catch everything. She'd shivered as I told her that we were about to have company and she'd asked if they were the vampires with red eyes that I had told her about. At my nod she'd pressed herself even closer to my side. Alice and Esme had both stepped forward and wrapped themselves around us, which seemed to comfort her. I saw the irony in that she felt safe being totally surrounded by us, while she worried about the other three vampires rapidly approaching us.

Esme is a quiet woman, a serene woman. She's happy to spend her days designing houses, enjoying her hobbies and tending to us, her surrogate children. But at that moment, I saw the mama bear coming out in her as her eyes flashed as she'd looked in the direction from which the nomads would come.

She'd said, "Bella, you are a part of this family and we will protect you, no matter what."

Emmett, with his arms around Rosalie, had spoken then. "Don't worry, little sister! It's all fun and games when the vampires want to cook FOR you; it's another thing entirely when you're on the menu al dente. There is no way anyone is going to get near you." Rosalie had nodded her head only once, but it had been decisive.

From where she stood in the middle of our group, Bella had looked at each of us. Her chin quivered, but then she'd lifted it and stilled the movement and said, "I don't want any of you to be hurt. But I trust you. Is there anything I can do to help?"

I don't think I could ever find the words to say how proud I was of her at that moment. And I also had no words for the terror I'd felt at how this could all go so wrong. I'd told her that the only things she really could do was to keep her eyes lowered and to stay next to me. If something were to happen, she was to let Esme help her. It wasn't much, but she'd readily agreed.

After Jasper had re-stated his plans and we'd agreed to them, Carlisle said that we'd try diplomacy first. We'd see what their actual attitude was when they arrived. Never one to seek a fight, Carlisle certainly didn't want our newest family member to be harmed in any way, and he'd agreed that we'd do whatever was necessary. She had been the daughter of his heart from that first vision and he would protect her with his life, just as a father should.

Carlisle, as head of our family, would speak for us when the nomads arrived. I'd listen to their thoughts, and if they decided to leave—and meant it—they could do so. Otherwise we were as prepared as we could possibly be to protect _all_ the members of our family.

Alice's voice had announced the imminent arrival of the nomads and Bella had stiffened in my arms. A brush of my lips across her temple had calmed her a little.

We were all standing as Jasper had suggested: Carlisle at the front of the vanguard, with the rest of the family loosely surrounding Bella and me. We'd briefly thought of pretending to keep the game going, but Alice had said no, that we needed to present a united front.

And united we certainly were. The fragile human in our midst held a place in all of their hearts. And she totally owned mine. I read the determination in each mind that no harm would come to her. I'd pulled her close to my chest and breathed her scent in deeply. The burn once again reminded me that she was here, with me. Her whispered, "I love you, Edward," hadn't been necessary to steel my resolve to keep her safe. No hurt would come to her. There were seven vampires ready to do anything and everything necessary to keep her out of harm's way.

When the three had approached us, I realized that the male in the back was actually the leader. He liked to have the other one, Laurent, make their greetings. That way he could sit back and assess the situation. The red-head, Victoria, was all over the place in her thoughts. She didn't like the way James was looking at our women and she didn't like the way they were outnumbered. Her mind had reminded me of the way Jasper thought when he was formulating military plans. She had an escape route planned for every step of the way toward us.

With his hands raised in greeting, Laurent had said that they had heard us playing and asked if they could join our game.

Laurent had been surprised at how many of us were gathered and his shock when Carlisle called us his family was great. As the greetings proceeded, there had been the usual comments from him on our numbers, our eye color, and how we could have a permanent home in the area.

Carlisle was encouraged by his interest in our way of life and had hoped, still, that this could end amicably, with them learning about how we hunt animals, not humans. The other two had yet to say a word.

During the discussion, my eyes hadn't left the leader's face. He had been focused on Alice from the moment he spotted her, after giving the rest of us a fleeting glance. He had known her as a human! The information flitted through his mind and I'd stored it up to give to her later. The fact that he had wanted to drain her way back then just added fuel to the fire that was brimming inside me.

We all had noticed the moment he realized that Bella was human. Just like in the vision, he'd stood straight and sniffed the air and then zeroed in on the woman in my arms as he took a small step forward. The other two noticed then, too.

Growls had met Laurent's stunned, "You brought a snack!"

Carlisle had firmly stated, "She's with us." The three nomads had been shocked by his response. Their minds couldn't really process that we'd have a human with us who wasn't a pet or a meal. Bella's eyes had flashed up and she'd taken them in for the first time. Her body had stiffened in my arms. I had seen nomads many times, but I looked at them as if for the first time.

They were roughly dressed and Victoria had leaves and twigs in her messy hair. Their feet had been bare and were dirty. But it was their eyes that caught my attention, as I'd been sure they'd caught Bella's. Burgundy from a recent feeding, a meal that she knew had to have consisted of humans. The smell of her fear ramped up considerably and every vampire on the field was aware of it.

I'd immediately tucked her behind me as the family closed ranks with Esme right beside me, her arms around Bella as her low growl had filled the air.

When James stepped forward, his thoughts totally focused on Bella, I'd immediately growled and lowered into a crouch. That's when he had realized that she meant something to me. He was already annoyed at finding Alice, the only prey he had missed out on, and now to see me reacting this way threw him over the edge.

Plans had filled his mind to take the human, to torture her, to kill her. The last would be best served if he could do it in front of me. His gift was he was a Tracker and in his mind there was none better. He'd already decided that after our baseball game they'd leave and then he'd return alone. A face-to-face confrontation wasn't his style. The _hunt_ was everything to him and he'd decided to _hunt_ my Bella.

Laurent and Carlisle had continued talking, unaware of the plans James made in the past few seconds. A few moments later, as we had pre-arranged, Carlisle looked over at me for my assessment. I'd quickly glanced at James and Victoria and had given a minute shake of my head. Carlisle had sighed and turned back to Laurent, telling him that we were no longer playing baseball.

The thoughts that filled James' head had given us the advantage. I'd signaled Jasper to let him know that these two could not leave the field; that they were not going to give up. At his nod, we'd spread out slightly, with Bella still protected among us.

The nomads had noticed our movement and Laurent had asked what was going on. His mind had been filled with dread that James had done something to disrupt what should have been an enjoyable evening. He'd wondered if he really should leave the two of them; their games had grown tiresome. He knew that they were going to be the end of him with the way they constantly pushed the boundaries set by the Volturi. I'd heard resignation in his mind that the odds were definitely against them this time. He only had a small bit of hope that they could survive an altercation with us and that was because James was the deadliest vampire that he had ever known.

James had crouched and snarled as he'd tried to figure out how to get to Bella. Victoria had turned to run, her mind only on escape and how to save James. I'm sure she would have been beyond distraught to know that he gave no thought to her at all. The only two things he wanted to do was to kill my Bella and to destroy Alice.

At their first steps, Emmett had leaped forward and pinned Laurent's arms at his sides. Rosalie was right there with him, to add her support if he needed it. Laurent hadn't struggled at all; he'd been resigned to his fate, whatever it may be.

Victoria had spun around and was sprinting toward the obscurity of the forest; Jasper and Alice right on her heels. Alice was frustrated as she couldn't see what direction the nomad was going to take as her mind kept switching tactics and directions. Jasper was totally focused on the emotions pouring from Victoria and he'd be able to track her that way.

The Tracker had no thought of running. All he had been focused on was getting to Bella where she was behind me. When he'd lunged, I'd met him chest to chest as I heard Esme in my mind, _I've got her; Carlisle and will keep her safe._

I'd never been more thankful for my vampiric brain as I could keep track of Bella in Esme's arms; Jasper and Alice chasing—and catching—Victoria; and the Tracker who was trying to end me to get to the light of my existence.

We'd come together time and again; the sound of our bodies colliding rolling through the field like a never-ending thunderclap. As I'd heard and blocked each of his moves, he'd become enraged and his defense had fallen back on instinct. He'd no longer planned each move; he'd just reacted to each of my attacks. An opening had presented itself and I'd ripped his right arm off. The screech of vampire flesh parting had been overwhelmed by Victoria screaming in anguish from where Jasper held her securely. I'd thrown the twitching limb to Alice and she'd caught it easily.

Once again, James hadn't even given Victoria any thought; his focus was still on Bella. In a desperate attempt, he'd flipped up and over me but I'd reached up and grasped him by the foot, yanking him to the ground. I'd pinned him before he could leap to his feet. Venom from his damaged shoulder pooled beneath us.

Victoria was shrieking louder by the second, but Jasper held her firmly and Alice was scowling where she stood beside them. The nomad's mind had been full of scenarios on how she was going to kill us all, starting with Bella, for harming her mate. The plans included creating a newborn army and letting them bring terror to Forks—no, to the entire Olympic Peninsula.

And still, all James could focus on was killing Bella, with small side-trips where he thought about shredding Alice. None of this could happen as far as I was concerned. And, without asking my family, I had known that they wouldn't agree with it either.

Screams had ricocheted around the field, making my ears ring. Before I'd been able to say anything to Victoria, Rosalie had stepped in front of her and snapped, "Shut UP! Or I will personally rip your fingers off one at a time." The noise has ceased abruptly.

I'd been keeping close watch on all three of their minds. Laurent had been thinking that he really should have parted company with these two long before he'd found himself in this dilemma. He just wanted to be far, far away and wished that he had gone to South America last month when he'd had the opportunity. He'd never struggled against Emmett the entire time he had been held, much to Emmett's dismay.

Carlisle had knelt beside me and looked James in the face. His words had caused Victoria to whimper, but a glare from Rose had kept her quiet. "This is my family that you have attempted to harm. You have one chance to survive. You and your friends may leave and never return…or you, your mate and your friend can be ended now."

Victoria began keening again when James had responded, "_She's_ not my mate and I don't care where _he_ goes. I'm a Tracker and I will never give up. I will kill _her_." There had been a red haze over his thoughts and I'd believed he spoke the truth. He'd never give up until he was ended or Bella was dead.

Rising and walking to Victoria, Carlisle had made her the same offer. Her entire focus was on James and she didn't respond. Carlisle had looked at me to receive my input.

"He won't ever give up on the hunt, not until Bella is dead." I'd nodded to Victoria and continued, "She loves him and when we end him, she will take up his cause and none of us will be rid of her. She already has dozens of plans in mind on how to get back at us."

I'd glanced over at Bella where she stood with Esme's arms wrapped around her. I'd seen her shiver from time to time. It appeared to be from shock. I knew that we'd have to get this settled quickly so that I could take her home, to safety.

When Carlisle moved to Laurent with his offer, he couldn't agree to go as far away as he possibly could fast enough. After checking with me and receiving my nod that he spoke the truth, Emmett had released him. Laurent just wanted to be gone, but Carlisle told him to stay until everything was settled. He'd stood silently by as I released James into Emmett's capable hands. As I'd walked toward Bella, she'd flung herself into my arms. I'd held her close and breathed deeply of her scent.

Alice had stepped forward after she'd flung James' arm into the middle of the field. It was trying to make its way back to where he was firmly pinned to the ground by Emm. She'd related several of the visions that she'd had that had come to her due to the decisions that James and Victoria were making as they were held. Each vision had centered on causing our family harm. Not one showed them walking away and never returning.

Her words confirmed what I'd already seen in their minds.

Their fates were set and as much as Carlisle had hoped for a different outcome, it really did boil down to them or us. We'd never be safe from them if we let them go. Carlisle was incredibly sad that it had come to this, but he knew that these two would never stop. Esme, after placing a kiss on Bella's cheek, had gone to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

My family had all encouraged me to take Bella away before they dispatched the two vampires. With a nod to them all, I'd agreed. I'd looked at Alice and told her that James had known her as a human. She'd been shocked and had decided to try and get more details from him before he met his end.

Instead of swinging her around to my back, I'd swept Bella into my arms and cuddled her close to my chest, and told her that we were leaving. She'd nodded as she'd tucked her head close under my chin for the run back to the jeep. As we'd left the field, we'd both heard the horrible sounds of vampire flesh being ripped asunder and she'd shivered in my arms.

I'd buckled Bella in and we'd headed toward town. When I'd offered her my hand to hold, she'd held it firmly in her own. She'd been silent all the way back to her house. Thankfully, the Blacks' vehicle was gone when we got there. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle another confrontation at that point.

When I'd stopped in the driveway and turned the engine off, Bella had sighed deeply and turned to look at me. Her face had been paler than usual. She'd said, "Edward, I was so worried about you. I thought you or someone in your family was going to be killed. I don't know how I'd survive if you were taken from me."

Her words had summed up exactly how I'd felt and I'd released her from the harness and pulled her into my lap. For several minutes we hadn't moved; we'd just sat and breathed in the scent of each other.

I hadn't been sure that I could let her go, alone, into her house. The rational part of my mind had told me that her father was there, that he had guns, that he was trained to protect her. But the part of my heart that had felt the terrible fear of losing her just wouldn't let me let her go.

I'd finally just asked. "Bella, I can't let you go tonight. I was so afraid earlier and, I know it's not right, but it's not wrong either, but I just can't let you out of my sight right now."

Once again that cool, appraising look was on her face as she pulled back a little from my embrace. Her hands had come up to cup my cheeks as she rested her forehead against mine. "I was really scared, and I have questions to ask you about what happened tonight, but I think that I just have to think things through first. I understand your fears to some extent, Edward. But how can you get into my room? I can guarantee you that my dad, you know, _Chief Swan_, would not approve."

I'd been so thrilled that she'd allow me to stay, to watch over her, that I'd told her that if she left her window up just a bit, I'd be able to come up that way. When she pointed out that Charlie would most definitely see Emmett's jeep parked in his driveway, I'd told her that I'd drive it home and run back. That would give her about ten minutes to talk with Charlie and then ready herself to sleep.

A rueful chuckle had left her lips and she'd said that she'd need at least thirty minutes to talk to her dad and to get ready for bed. Then she'd cocked her head and looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't just your way of getting into my bed is it, Mr. Cullen?"

If I could have blushed I certainly would have at that moment. All I had been thinking was that I needed to be near her, close to her to keep her safe. At my stammering, as I searched for an answer to her question, she'd chuckled again and had said that I could sit and watch her sleep from her rocking chair. I'd jumped at the chance, not telling her that I would have been happy to just sit on her window sill all night.

After walking her to the door and seeing her safely in, I'd rushed back to the house. The family had returned and they'd told me that Laurent was already on his way into Canada. Alice said she'd keep tabs on him for some time to come, but that the only thing she saw in his future was him steadily making his way as far from us as he could get.

Taking the quickest shower ever and putting on clean clothes, I'd gathered my journal and headed back to Bella's. Alice said that we could talk about the information she got from James on Monday. Although I did pass on the things that I'd heard from him. She thanked me and said we'd chat more later. That suited me fine. I'd thanked them all for their help before I'd left. Every single one of them said that it was their duty to stand by me and by Bella. They'd never even considered letting harm come to her.

All I'd been able to think about as I ran toward Bella's was that I had to be close to her. I had to know she was safe. I'm not sure if I've ever run that fast before in my hurry to just get to her.

Of course I knew which window was Bella's and I was waiting in the tree outside of it when she'd lifted the sash. She'd seen me and had invited me inside. We'd hugged again, just holding each other for several minutes as we rocked gently just inside the window. Charlie had been pleased that she'd returned home safely. Obviously he had been thinking about her only being injured while playing baseball, not about how close she'd come to being killed by vampires.

As much as I loved this woman, I'd never considered how much danger she might come into contact with by being in my world. I'd always thought that I, that we, could protect her at all times. Tonight had been a wake-up call for me and I'd have to think about how I could continue to protect her.

When she'd leaned back from our embrace, I'd moved toward the chair but she'd stopped me. I'd been confused, but when she got into her bed under the covers and then pulled me down with her, I'd allowed her to do so. She'd told me that even though she thought it was a bit odd to have me in her room, she was glad too, because she was still a bit shocked at what had gone on earlier. I'd asked if she was ready to talk, but she'd said no. She wasn't ready and she did need to rest, but she'd warned me that we would be talking about it at some point on Monday. I'd agreed and just held her while she'd snuggled close. It hadn't taken very long before she'd fallen asleep in my arms.

Shaking my head, I'd realized that I'd gone from the hell of thinking that I might lose her, to the heaven of holding her sleeping form in my arms. About an hour later she'd begun talking in her sleep. I'd been mesmerized by the words she spoke. She'd murmured my name, _love you,_ and _marshmallows_. I hadn't understood the last bit, but the first warmed my heart.

I'd finally pulled away when she'd started to shiver. After tucking her quilt close around her, I'd moved to her rocking chair to write this entry. Her heartbeat soothed me and the slight burn in my throat as I breathed in her scent assured me that she was safe.

We both had questions that needed to be answered, but with her safe and close to me there would be time.

* * *

><p>Sorry about the wait for this. I kept thinking that it would be SHORTER, but there just wasn't a way to make it so. Hope it was worth the wait.<p>

I know that Carlisle, and his kind heart, would have wanted things to go differently. BUT, as Alice and Edward both heard, saw and stated, those two would never give up. At least Laurent got to survive. I've always thought that he really wasn't Irina's mate. If he had been, why did he leave her? She very well may have loved him…just like Victoria loved James. And, if they are mates, maybe they will find each other at some point.

**U2shay** helped me with the first portion of the editing…thank you! And **LJ Summers** insisted I used Emmett's line about cooking and meals al dente in this somewhere. Good call! Oh, and Emmett…some people shorten his name to "Em" and some to "Emm"…I like that one better…so that's the one I use.

I know this story is mostly fluffy…with a hint of tension, but if you are a total ANGST person, do check out LJ Summers' new fic, "**Open Up Next to You**"…do get your tissues handy…it's KILLER. I don't read angst…but she allowed me to watch her process and as I've told her, once this story is clicked COMPLETE, it will go on my **TOP FIVE FICS OF ALL TIME**…really, it will. The link is on my favorites if you feel brave enough to go there. Do know that besides crying...I also giggled like a school girl...and my computer melted from the heat a time or two! Then I cried again...!

One last thing, I've started a **POLL** on my profile, it's at the top of the page...I'm writing a bit for the **WILDFIRES IN TEXAS RELIEF COMPILIATION**. I thought that maybe an outtake, a **JOURNAL ENTRY**, would be a fun one to write. But then I thought...WHOSE journal entry? You can VOTE to choose WHOSE entry I write. Thanks!

Thank you all so very much for the lovely reviews. I read them all…and love them…and I hope that I've responded to them all! Sorry if I missed you! You have to have PM's enabled for me to do so. I appreciate your words very much and I'm humbled at how much support you all are giving me.

I'll be posting several more journal entries soon…GOT to write about dinner at the Reservation!

And Alice is going to 'fess up to the fact that she HAS been withholding a few visions. THAT should be fun!

I also wanted to make a rec: **Choices** by **twilover76**...(link in my favs) What if Alice saw everything coming before Bella and Edward even met? Would it change the future if Bella had the choice to meet him? What happens to the Cullens if everyone knows what is coming? AU/Canon/M

This is rather counterpoint to EAC...her Alice knew, via a vision of the SAGA...we have a lot of the same thoughts on things...and it's a JOY to read it...tell her I sent you!

Thank you!

Kathie


	18. March 14, 2005 11:23 pm She is stubborn

I'd forgotten that SPRING BREAK was the week after the baseball game. I've adjusted the last chapter to reflect that.

* * *

><p><strong>EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen<strong>

**Monday, March 14, 2005...11:23 p.m…She is so stubborn**

My Bella is many things. She's the love of my existence; she's incredibly smart; she's beyond beautiful; her sense of humor makes me laugh; she can hold her own against Emmett's teasing; she's brave; she's mature; she has a great sense of fun; and she's the most stubborn person I've ever met. After spending the night in her room, first holding her, and then just sitting and watching her sleep, she now says that it was a "one off" and I'm not allowed to do it again.

I'd argued that she was safer with me there, but she'd disagreed. She'd pointed out that two of the nomads were no more and the third one was hightailing north and east as fast as his vampire feet would take him. She'd agreed that she had slept well, after being so scared, knowing that I was close. But now that she was safe, she said we needed to keep some of the more human conventions in place.

My frustration over this, our first _argument_, has made me get ahead of myself. Let me backtrack to the start of the day:

There is no school this week due to spring break. I'd left her room on Monday morning just before Charlie had opened the door quietly to check on her. I'd returned from where I waited just inside the forest after he left for the day. Bella had awoken to find me sitting in her rocking chair. I'd told her that Esme had texted me and said that she'd make breakfast for Bella if she'd like. Bella had said that she'd love that, saying she was so glad that it was spring break. After allowing me a very brief kiss, Bella had said there would be more once she'd brushed her teeth. She'd hurried about her morning routine after telling me to sit tight in the chair.

Alice had also texted and said that having our conversation about the events of Sunday evening at our home would be a good idea. That way my family would be available for her to ask questions of. She'd warned me that Bella would be asking about how one became a vampire.

I'd gulped back a mouthful of venom at the thought of that process. The idea of biting her and drinking her blood filled my mind with lust—lust for her blood _and_ for her body. I'd had to fight back the most incredible urge to mark her, to make her mine. The vampire in me relished the idea of forever with my mate.

Then I'd worried. What if that wasn't something she wanted? She'd said she wanted our relationship to last _forever_. But was that a _human_ forever? Or a _vampiric_ one?

We definitely had things to discuss.

I'd waited for thirty-six years for this woman. As much as I loved her, and wanted to spend forever with her, could I condemn her to this life?

Before Bella had come into my life, I'd survived, but I really hadn't lived. I'd spent many of my early years meting out my own brand of justice on rapists, thieves and the scum of the earth before I'd realized that I had become judge, jury and executioner to those evil humans that crossed my path. Guilt and loneliness had driven me to rethink my endeavors and to return to Carlisle and Esme. Their forgiveness had helped me to endure and as each of my siblings had joined our family I'd learned to find comfort in their company.

For the most part, they enjoyed our existence. But they also missed being human, Rosalie most of all. She'd always thought that she'd marry well and have children, many children. As a vampire that was not her future and she missed it, sometimes more than others. She loved Emmett—he was her beloved mate—but she still missed the chance of being a mother.

Bella hadn't spoken of children, but then we really hadn't talked about the future at all. We'd just enjoyed getting to know each other.

She'd mentioned that we had known each other from January 18 through March 12. I had to remember that that really wasn't a very long time.

We had time…I'd waited for thirty-six years; I could surely take my time to talk things through with her. After having decided that, I'd greeted her after her shower with more sweet kisses and then we'd made the run to my home.

Esme had made her scrambled eggs and bacon. Emmett was fascinated as he watched her eat. Sometimes we had to eat food to keep up the charade, but it was awful as we'd have to expel it later. Finally, as he'd watched each bite, Bella had offered him a piece of her bacon. Apparently he'd had a flashback to his human life and he'd taken it. His eyes had closed as he chewed and he'd groaned in ecstasy.

We'd all looked at him in disbelief, knowing that human food pretty much just tasted like dirt. After swallowing, he'd opened his eyes to find us all staring at him. He's shrugged and said that he remembered bacon and that he wasn't groaning over the taste of it _now_, but over the memory of how it _had_ tasted _then_.

Rose told him that he better get rid of it, and gargle, before he even thought about kissing her.

Bella had just watched him, then shrugged her shoulders before finishing her own meal.

When the dishes were done, we'd gone into the living room to wait for Carlisle to get home. He'd had the midnight shift at the hospital and would be arriving soon.

Once we were all seated comfortably, Bella had asked what had happened after we'd left the field. Emmett had leaped to his feet and was going to reenact the decapitation of James when I'd told him to sit back down.

Alice said that Bella didn't need all the gory details and Bella had shivered just a bit where she sat tucked close against my side. She then told Bella that she didn't have to worry about the nomads. Laurent was already deep into Canada and the other two had been dealt with.

Bella had asked, "Dealt with? How does one deal with vampires? I thought you were immortal?"

I'd caught Jasper's eye; he wanted to explain to her and I'd nodded at him to go ahead. He'd been able to tell if she needed a shot of his gift as he told her how we could be destroyed. To his surprise, and mine too, she was only slightly on edge. Once again she was taking things in stride.

Carlisle had come in when Jasper was finishing telling her how they'd ripped the nomads apart and had burned the parts. She'd turned to him and said, "You really tried to get them to just go away, didn't you?"

He'd nodded and said that just because our coven—our family—was big enough to destroy almost any threat against us, it didn't mean that we should take them down just because we could. Although it bothered him, he'd repeated what Alice and I had told him last night, they would never have given up and they would have tried to kill each and every one of us.

Nodding her head as she processed that, Bella had then said, "Now that I know how to kill vampires, how does one become one?"

Before I or Carlisle could tell her the steps, we'd been startled when Rose was on her feet and pacing from one end of the room to the other. She'd stopped in front of us twice before pacing again. I'd heard her mind anguishing over her own state and then her arguments against Bella becoming one of us. She'd already become accustomed to the idea of Bella marrying me; she'd even come to accept that event. But for my human love to give up her life, well, she was having a hard time wrapping her mind around that.

I'd thought to stop her, but Alice had given me a small shake of her head and she'd sent me a message, _"Bella needs to know how, and Rose needs to get her thoughts out so that they both can know what to expect and what one will lose out on."_

After a small nod at Alice, I had watched Rose pace and when she stopped, she'd had given a brief statement of how one became a vampire: the bite and three days of the venom burning through your body and changing it. Then she'd launched into her arguments against Bella becoming one of us. She'd related how she came to be a vampire and that although she loved Emmett beyond her own life, she still missed the _chance_ of children, of growing old with her love and fading into the hereafter after living a long and happy life.

My Bella had listened carefully and when Rosalie was done, she'd gotten up and hugged her. We'd all been shocked and although Bella was whispering in her ear, we could all hear her words.

"Rosalie, I'm so sorry that you were hurt so badly, not just your body, but your heart. You didn't deserve that at all. Thank you for giving me your insights and I will be thinking long and hard on this." She'd hugged Rose tightly and although I listened to Rose's thoughts, all I caught was that Rose was grateful that Bella would think about her words.

When Bella came back to me, I'd sat her down on my lap and cuddled her close to my chest. Alice had told Bella how she didn't remember her human life at all. That for her, the life of a vampire was all she'd known. Her life was full and there was joy in it. The fact that she'd have her mate, Jasper, with her for many lifetimes was enough for her to be grateful for her existence.

Emmett had hugged Rosalie tightly and said that the burning was hideous, but he'd seen Rose and knew she was waiting for him. It was worth it, although he'd never want to go through something like that again. Three days of hell in exchange for an eternity with Rosalie? Yes, worth it. He'd sat back down and pulled his wife into his arms. The grin on his face when she kissed his cheek really did sum up his feelings for her.

Each of my family in turn had told her of their change, that none of them were changed by choice. I'd told her that it was my mother's request that had made up Carlisle's mind for him. Esme, after relating her story, had pointed out that the burn was in our throats all the time, only eased to a certain extent by animal blood, and more so by human blood. That it was a choice, a hardship and a challenge each and every day. She'd also held Carlisle's hand and said it was worth it, no matter what.

Bella had listened, occasionally asking a question to clarify something. Her fingers had kept up a steady stroking through the hair at the nape of my neck. I was sure she was soothing the tension that she felt there.

Yes, I want her forever, but how could one _choose_ to accept this life? It was hard to remain as human as we did. The challenge to only drink from animals was a constant. There were perks in that we had time to perfect anything we chose to set our minds to. Running was a joy. And Emmett could go on and on about how much fun sex as a vampire was.

But was it worth the things one would lose? I had no idea, as the choice wasn't mine to make. Now that I'd found Bella, I was more grateful to Carlisle than I could even find words for. Because of the choice he had made all those years ago, I now had the love of my existence in my arms.

When everyone was done speaking, Bella had taken a deep breath and had thanked us. Then she said that it may have been a moot point, as she didn't even know if I'd want her like that, forever. _"Forever is a very long time, and even though we love each other, what if it's not enough."_

At her quiet words I'd felt as if Emmett had plunged his very large hand through my chest and ripped my heart out.

The family had ghosted away as I turned Bella on my lap so that I could look into her precious face. It had taken me a few moments to gather my thoughts enough to find words to tell her how much she meant to me. That forever was just a start on how long I wanted to love her.

She'd stopped me before I could even speak, placing a warm finger against my lips. "Edward, I love you. You say you love me too, and I mostly believe that. But it's difficult. You are so, well, _you_. And I'm just me. Plain Bella Swan. Don't think that I don't notice the looks and hear the comments that everyone feels the need to share when they think I'm not noticing. Sometimes they even say things just loud enough for me to hear." She'd gone on to share the comments about her not being on the same playing field as me. Some even going so far as to say that she didn't belong in the same orbit as me or my family.

"These past couple of months have been great. Getting to know you, spending time with you. And then to find out that you've known me, or at least about me, for years. It adds a dimension to our relationship that almost overwhelms me." She'd paused and kissed me on the end of my nose. "I want to believe that you'd love me forever, but it's hard to wrap my head around that concept. Add in that vision of our wedding, when I've seen so many marriages end in divorce, well, it's hard."

I'd been shocked at how she could even think that this wasn't forever on my part. Loving her was now fixed in every cell of my body.

_Tell her about vampire mates…_Alice's voice was quiet in my head. _That's the only thing that will convince her…_

Holding her eyes with my own, I'd told Bella about how vampires sometimes came together for love, and how, more rarely, they came together because they'd found their mate. That finding one's mate was a life-altering event, that there was never an end to the love one found with one's mate.

And then I'd said, "Bella, you are my _mate_, my forever love. I don't know how to convince you of this, but I will do anything and everything in my power to help you believe it."

Bella had closed her eyes as tears had trickled down her cheeks. I'd kissed each one away and she'd leaned into my embrace.

"I want to believe you, Edward. I love you so much." We'd held each other, sharing soft kisses, until it was time to return her to Charlie's so that she could make dinner. She'd thanked the family for sharing their stories with her and had accepted a hug from Esme.

As I watched her prepare the chicken and vegetables for Charlie, I'd mentioned that I'd like to bring an electric blanket with me when I arrived later on.

Bella had turned to me and asked, "What? When?"

When I'd responded that I'd thought that I could watch over her as she slept, again, she'd said _no_ most emphatically. My argument that she'd slept well didn't work. Neither did me stating that it was my duty and my honor to keep her safe at all times and that I had to be near her to do so.

She'd shaken her head and said that Sunday night that had been a given, but now she was safe. And me watching her sleep might be just a bit creepy. I'd tried every argument that I could think of, including pressing her back to the counter and kissing her nearly senseless. She'd kissed me back and when I stopped, she'd leaned back and said, "The answer is still no. I want to be awake to enjoy your presence."

She did finally agree that if Alice saw danger, I'd be allowed to keep her safe by staying overnight in her room. Otherwise I could only be in the house by _invitation_. She'd said that was a good myth and we'd pretend that it was true.

She is so stubborn. And I love her more than life.

* * *

><p>Thank you, pre-readers <strong>Traci29<strong> and **Twilover76** (she writes CHOICES, do, please, check it out!). We had a nice chat about this chapter.

**U2shay** added some comma and grammar help! Her stories, **FATE LEADS THE WILLING** and **The Best Things in Life Are Unexpected **are amazing...do, please, check them out!

Next up…dinner on the Reservation. Billy is in for a shock.

I've decided to write another bit for **THE CANON TOUR...PART 2**...it's also an anonymous entry...link on my profile...so it will be a day or three before I can post **DINNER AT THE RESERVATION**...thanks for your patience.

Thank you, everyone who reads, reviews and puts this story on your alerts and favorites. You really do make me smile!

_**Kathie**_


	19. March 15, 2005…Dinner at the Reservation

.

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**Tuesday, March 15, 2005…Dinner at the Reservation**

My Bella is a spitfire.

And I'm not the only one who knows it.

The Elders at the Reservation certainly got an earful from my beloved earlier this evening.

We had spent most of the day at my home. She'd said that she wanted to "store up" kisses and my company before she went with Charlie to Billy's house for dinner. I was more than happy to accommodate her in that regard.

The morning had been spent with us playing with her new phone. I'd told her that I'd miss her, and worry while she was on the Reservation, so would she please accept the phone? I will admit to using all the dazzling powers that she's told me I have in order to get her to allow the gift. After she took it, we'd played a game of hide and seek with the clues being given via text messages. Bella had asked how to block messages when the ones from Emmett had caused her to blush for the sixth time. We'd heard the smack that Rosalie had applied to the back of his head followed by his loud, "Hey!"

Bella had made lunch with Esme, and a cake to take to Billy's. The best part of the day was when just the two of us cuddled on the couch until it was time for her to leave. There was a movie on, but I'm pretty sure that neither one of us could tell anyone how it ended.

I'd touched every inch of her exposed skin…and that little sliver across her back where her shirt rode up when she reached to put her arms around my neck. Giving in to the urge, I'd run my fingers through every strand of her long hair, placing my scent on every bit of it.

Again, I have to confess that I was, as Emmett so eloquently put it, "marking my territory." Once Bella had told me that Charlie had mentioned that dinner was actually going to be a community bonfire, I knew that something was up. This was not a simple dinner with two families getting together to share a couple of pizzas. The feeling was more like an intervention and even though I couldn't be there, I wanted my presence to be felt.

My more than capable memory reminded me that the wolves smelled hideous to us, and we smelled just as bad to them.

Were my actions childish? Probably. But I also wanted it known to the Pack that even though I wasn't there, I still was. And covering her with my scent was a way to do that. Of course, touching her was something that I wanted to do, marking territory or not. I couldn't get enough of the feel of her skin beneath my fingertips or my lips.

When it was time for Bella to leave, we'd hugged tightly. She'd promised to call me the minute she left the Reservation and I'd told her that I'd be waiting. A soft chuckle had left her lips and she'd said, "I won't keep you waiting thirty-six years!"

∞**EAC∞**

_Longest evening of my life._

When Alice had gasped that she suddenly couldn't see Bella, I'd nearly broken my phone as I dialed her number. She'd answered on the first ring. I'd been able to hear muted voices in the background as Charlie chatted with Billy and said hi to Sam, who had apparently just arrived. Hearing Bella's voice and knowing she was okay, well, as okay as she could be standing near a wolf, made us realize that the shape-shifters obscured Alice's vision.

She'd said bye and that she'd call me later. I'd had to let her go.

_Longest evening of my life._

When Alice said she could _see_ Bella again, my phone had rung and Bella had asked if I could come to her house _now_. She'd said she was okay, but she really wanted to see me. I told her that I'd be right there even as I was running toward the front door.

Alice had stopped me before I could rush out, an impish grin on her face. She'd said that Charlie was about to be called out on a minor traffic crisis that was going to escalate.

I'd grinned as I saw the relatively mild problem of a stalled logging truck in downtown Forks. In the vision the chain holding the logs snapped and the logs rolled off the trailer, causing no damage, but filling the road with their sprawled mass. Yes, Charlie was going to be busy for several hours as he directed traffic. And he'd never know that the chain broke as it was poked by a spiky haired vampire running by at full speed. With a wave, Alice had run toward downtown Forks as I ran toward Bella's house.

The call came in to Charlie just as I'd arrived in the woods behind their house. He'd thanked Bella for coming with him, said he hoped her headache was better soon and then he'd changed into his uniform and left.

I'd been knocking at the kitchen door before he even got into his cruiser. Bella had thrown the door open and flung herself into my arms. The first few moments all I could do was hold her and feel relieved that she was safe. Not that I really thought that something bad would have happened, but shape-shifters were unstable in their first few months, and besides Sam, there were at least two others that were new to shifting.

When Bella had lifted her arm to twine her fingers in my hair, I stopped, still. Breathing deeply, I'd found the concentrated aroma of wolf on her shoulder…and on her right arm! I'd stiffened and put some space between us while I still held her close to me. When she'd looked up into my face, she'd gasped, "Edward, your eyes are black! What's wrong?"

It had taken me a moment to speak and my words had been growled. "Two of them touched you. Are you okay?" My own hands had roamed over her body, searching for injuries.

Bella had crushed herself to me and said she was fine. But then she'd said that she was so mad, she felt like she could spit nails. I'd cuddled her close and sat us on the couch so that she could tell me what happened. It was either that or run to the Reservation and start skinning wolves.

This, in her own words, is the story of her evening, related to me as I held her close on the couch:

_Charlie had agreed that we could take my truck. I wanted to show him that Rosalie had already made an improvement in the engine. He'd asked, "Rosalie, she drives that red BMW M3, right?" I have no clue what kind of car it is, but she'd shown me a red one so I'd told him yes, that was hers. He'd muttered something about the fact that she drove too fast but he'd agreed that the engine was quieter, as was the muffler system. AND it didn't cough or sputter even once on the way out to Billy's. I think he approved of her tinkering, but he told me that I couldn't ride anywhere with her at the wheel of her car._

_Jacob came rushing out of his house when we got there. And, Edward, knowing that he has wolves in his ancestry, I could really see it. He was like a puppy jumping around, taking the cake box out of my hand, leading me into the house, and introducing me to his friends. He tried to stay at my side, but I finally just shooed him off. I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about us. There is no _us_!_

_There were already a bunch of people there and they mostly all greeted me kindly. Billy was still being weird staring at me and that Sam, who got there just before you called, was really tense. Sam had two really tall young men with him…Jared and Paul. They all stared at me and the tension, well, it would have really knocked Jasper over. They kept their distance and I was glad for it._

_My dad had a good time introducing me to people and I sort of recognized some of them from when I visited as a child. There was one woman, though. She was so pretty and Dad said her name was Emily and I wasn't to stare—which made me roll my eyes—like I'd stare anyway. Although I was sure she was used to being stared at because she was so pretty. But then she'd turned her head and I could see why he'd said that. Her face had such scars on it! Dad said that she'd been attacked by a bear or something in the woods. _

_Edward, it looked like someone had used fishing line to sew her face back together. I'd quietly asked Dad why they hadn't gotten her better help. He'd said that they wouldn't allow any of their people to go to the Forks Hospital. And then he told me not to go into the woods alone because he didn't think they'd killed the bear that attacked her, even though he had offered his help and that of the Forks' Sheriff's Department. After I'd agreed to be careful, he went back to talking to some of his fishing buddies._

_We ate in the house and when I was ready for dessert, I went outside to where the cake table had been set up. There wasn't anyone there except Sam. I was shocked to find him looming over the cake that Esme and I had made. He had his nose practically on it, sniffing it. When I asked him what he was doing, he turned to me and grabbed me by one arm and picked the cake up with his other hand. Jared had come out of nowhere and he grabbed my shoulder and they hustled me around the house, telling me to not make a scene. Even though I was worried, I didn't really think they'd do anything to harm me. Well, I wasn't really worried, only a little worried. Then Paul was behind me and when we finally stopped at the edge of the yard, Sam pitched the cake far into the woods. I saw it splat and drip down a tree!_

At this point in her story, my body felt like it had turned to solid rock, with my arms almost too tight around her. _They'd had their filthy paws on my mate._ Another growl had burst from my lips. Bella had paused and assured me, again, that she was fine, kissing my cheeks, the tip of my nose and then my lips. I had finally eased up a little because I knew that if I didn't, she'd not be able to tell me everything that had happened. I needed all the facts so that I'd know what crimes to lay at their feet. After another kiss, she continued her tale.

_I was really ticked, Edward! Esme and I had worked hard to make that cake pretty. I know that it was going to taste good; it's my dad's favorite! Before I could even tell him off, Sam was growling that no one on the Rez was going to eat anything made by a Cullen…or a Swan that hung out with a Cullen._

_That's when Billy, Harry Clearwater and Quil Atera came around the corner of the house. They're Elders for the Quileute Tribe. Billy told Sam to give me some room. He moved back, but I don't think he was happy about it. That kind of made me laugh; it was like they were afraid of me or something._

_He and the other two stood behind me while the other three men arranged themselves in front of me, with Billy in his wheelchair in the middle. _

_I decided that I'd let them start and after staring at me for a minute, Billy began by saying that it would be in my best interest to stay away from you—from all of the Cullens. He said that he had a good reason for his _suggestion_, and that if I didn't do it out of my own free will, he would convince Charlie to keep me away from you, no matter what it took. His voice was threatening and the boys behind me stepped closer._

_That's when my temper just snapped, Edward. The fact that they would threaten me, that they tried to intimidate me into staying away from you! It really made me see red._

I'd smiled at the thought of my Bella standing up for us. But I was also filled with terror. She had been way too close to the wolves. If any one of them had phased, she would have been right in the line of fire. I'd shuddered at the thought and she'd paused her tale again to comfort me. I think that eased my tension more than anything. _She'd_ comforted _me_!

_This was probably not very wise of me, but I stood right in front of the Elders and told them that I knew about the treaty…that I knew what you all are._

_You should have seen their faces! Holy Crow, they could have caught birds in their mouths, not flies! Then Sam started to growl and he had to order the other two not to phase, which was pretty freaky. Before they could say anything else, I confronted them first. I said:_

_And do you know how I know what the Cullens are? Do you know how I know that those three yahoos behind me are wolves? I know because one of _your own_ broke the treaty. One of your own told me the legends about the Cold Ones._

_Sam had snapped that I had to tell them the name of this person. And the others were shaking their heads that it couldn't be true. Could have heard a leaf fall when I said that Jacob had told me at First Beach a couple of weeks ago. I told them that he didn't believe in the legends and he doesn't believe that any of them are shifters. He thought he was just telling me some scary story._

_I thought Billy was going to have a heart attack. And the growls that were coming from behind me ramped up about ten notches._

_The Elders were still gaping like fish when I told them that you all knew that because of Jacob's words the treaty was broken. Edward, I hope I didn't step on Carlisle's authority, but I told them that even though one of _them_ had broken the treaty, the Cullens weren't going to retaliate._

_I'm right, aren't I? You aren't going to do anything differently just because he told, are you?_

Bella had leaned back and was looking into my eyes, concern etched all over her face. I'd shaken my head and told her _no_. As long as they didn't do anything against us to further break the treaty, we'd take no action. The treaty had served us well for decades. I'd asked her to continue with her story.

_While they were still basically sputtering, I told them that I could see anyone that I wanted. That I wasn't going to stop on their say-so. I also told them that if they tried to get Charlie to ground me, or whatever, then there would be more than treaty breaking going on. I'd be singing their legends from the tree-tops and then _everyone_ would know. _

_Then I said that it wasn't their business who I saw or who I hung out with. Just then Jacob came around the side of the house and my dad was with him. I stepped around the six of them and went to Charlie. I told him that I had a headache and I wanted to go home. He must have noticed the tension and the hostility in the air, because he kind of glared at Billy and the others and then said we'd go._

_On the way home he asked what was going on. I told him that they were just being weird; warning me away from you and your family. He'd said that he thought it was wrong of the Elders to not let their people go to the Forks Hospital; that your dad was a gift to our community and they were idiots to not take advantage of that fact. He said that if they'd brought Emily to the hospital, she'd still be the pretty girl she'd been before she had her accident in the woods._

Then my beloved had leaned back again and looked in my eyes. She'd made my week, no, my _month_, with her next comment.

_Edward, I said that I didn't want you staying in my room just because once doesn't make it a habit. But I'd really like you to stay tonight. Now that I know how big the world is…and how some scary things really are out there…I think I'd feel safer if you stayed with me tonight._

I'd asked if I was one of the scary things out there. She'd laughed and kissed me soundly and said, "No, silly, you are the one that keeps me safe from the scary things."

It's always a roller coaster with my Bella. The early part of the day was glorious and then the evening was hideous. Now, as she lay cuddled up to my side, the electric blanket keeping her warm, the day is ending in joy again.

My Bella is feisty, and I think the tribe knows that now. I can hardly wait to tell Emmett. He's going to be very impressed by her actions. I think the only thing he'd find funnier is if she'd actually punched one of them in the face. Of course, the thought of that terrifies me. The wolves are not stable and I think that if she had done that, the outcome wouldn't have been great. I know she was certainly mad enough do have done it! I'm just grateful that her sense of self-preservation was strong this evening.

Carlisle definitely needs to call Billy and speak to him about the treaty. They are the ones that broke it, even if it was done by an unbelieving teen. I wonder if Mr. Black will apologize for his son? I rather wish that Alice could see into that household. I'm sure that Jacob got an earful.

I really want to go to the Reservation and inform Sam and his Pack that they are not to approach my Bella again; that they need to stay very far away from her. But what I really want to do is to harm them. I wonder how fast they'd run with only three legs? That would certainly void the treaty and Carlisle wouldn't approve, although I think that Emmett and Jasper would be on my side. Bella wouldn't either. That's the only thing holding me back. When I think that they actually put their hands on her, all I can see is red.

Bella is snuggled close to me. She is safe and unharmed and that's what I have to think about. And that fact is the only thing that is saving them.

We'll deal with the Pack and Elders later, when my anger isn't so high. Instead of running amok, I'm going to lay here and bask in the warmth of my beloved. I'm finding such joy in her accepting presence. That's what I need to dwell on.

* * *

><p>Thanks so much to my sweet pre-readers: <strong>u2shay, Traci30, NKubie, twilover26<strong>...your insights helped very much!

I'm waving at all the new people...\o/...brought to me via **sherryola's** rec in her story SEEING BELLA...thanks so much for the rec...and bringing all these new people to EAC! You all should check out HER story, the link is in my FAVS on my profile:

_Alice has a vision of a girl with no vision. She will either save Edward from his life of lonely brooding, or she will destroy him with his destruction of her. Can Bella discover the Cullen family secret if she can't see? Canon vamps and couples. AU_

I have written one bit for THE CANON TOUR - TWILIGHT ROUND...and may have another bit that HAS to be written...LOL...they will ALL be posted on Saturday...the link is on my profile. Hope you read them over and see if you can figure out which one is mine...I'm sure they will all be great!

I've looked at the voting in my poll...ALICE's journal entries win for the FANDOM FOR TEXAS WILDFIRE RELIEF compilation. I've also decided to put Carlisle's journal entry in for the FANDOM GIVES BACK compilation. Thanks for voting! I will post those bits in this story when we are realsed to do so.

Once again, I can't thank you enough for lovely support of this story. You all touch my heart with your comments. I love responding, but if your PM's are disabled, I can't do so.

There will be more entries in the coming weeks. Alice is 'fessing up...! And that vision of Edward holding a baby? Yeah...that one should be interesting...!

Have a blessed day!

Kathie


	20. March 27, 2005

.

.

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**Sunday, March 27, 2005**

Alice is up to something. I'm aware that Jasper knows the details. Those two never can keep anything from the other. I also suspect that Carlisle is in on whatever it is. His mind is full of medical journals and intimate moments with Esme. He doesn't usually do that to me, but nothing gets me out if his mind faster than seeing my mother in a state of dishabille.

I don't think it's something harmful to the family, otherwise Jasper would be tense, and he's not. There's an undercurrent of excitement and anticipation, with just a subtle touch of worry, coming from him. As soon as he notices my curiosity, he reins it back in and just smiles at me as I try to mine his memory. He's very good at hiding things beneath Civil War battle strategies.

Since it doesn't appear to be bad, I haven't devoted a lot of time to trying to find out what it is. My time has been better spent getting to know Bella…and her father.

She's invited me over for dinner a couple of times. Knowing my dietary issues, she's planned her menus around things that are easy for me to hide in my napkin. Her winks at me as she distracts Charlie from my plate make me smile.

After the debacle at the Reservation, Charlie hasn't forced her to visit there with him. He told Bella that he thinks the whole "the Cullens are evil thing" is foolish and he refuses to discuss us with Billy any longer. He still fishes with him at least one day on the weekend.

Billy and Jacob have been to Bella's house for dinner and to watch sports a couple of times. Bella says that Billy hasn't warned her off again and there is a somewhat uneasy truce between all the parties. The Elders appear to have taken a watch and wait stance.

Jacob seems to be oblivious to any tension that his father is feeling as he visits the Swan household. Apparently the Tribe has not informed Jacob of his future reality. As the great grandson of Ephraim Black, I'm pretty sure that the wolf gene is strong in him.

The watch and wait mentality does not extend to Jacob. He tends to stand too close to Bella as he helps her with dishes after their meals. She's warned him off, again, by telling him that she has a boyfriend. But he just smiles at her and one time he tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear. When she told me about that, the ire was rolling off of her in waves that Jasper fed back to me. I wanted to hunt the puppy down and enforce her warning.

Bella had laughed and said that I was not to worry. She thought that she'd finally put him in his place when she told him that if he didn't keep his distance, she'd stop cooking for him and his father. He had backed off as he's very fond of the meals she's prepared. She said she loves me and she can handle him. After her showdown at the Reservation, that just may be true. Still, I worry. The boy needs to know that _no_ means _no_ and I hope he has finally gotten the message. I will keep a very close eye on him.

On the plus side of those dinners at her house, Bella always invites me to come over after they leave and Charlie is in bed. She knows that my tension levels are high and that it soothes me to hold her while she sleeps. We talk quietly before she drifts off and those are some of the warmest moments of my life.

I discovered the first night that my Bella talks in her sleep. She says my name at least once each night and it never ceases to thrill me. Emmett has asked me to record her nocturnal ramblings after Alice mentioned that it was one of the draws for me. I have declined his request and warned him to not tease her about it. Not that she'd stand for it. She's got his number and only lets him tease her to a certain extent.

Carlisle has spoken to Billy on the phone. They've set a meeting for this next weekend, April 2. I think they delayed to see if Bella would come to her senses and stop seeing me. That hasn't happened, and it won't either.

The Elders and the Pack were shocked to hear that we destroyed two of the nomads that crashed our baseball game. Sam had sent both Paul and Jared to follow Laurent's trail, not trusting Alice that he was long gone. The distrust they feel about my relationship with Bella is only slightly offset by the fact that we have shown our reliability in protecting this area from nomadic vampires. Carlisle hopes that some trust can be built between us and them.

If they knew that I had thought about making Bella mine for all time, I'm sure the treaty would be broken again. Of course, the fact that young Jacob had already broken it may come into play at some point.

Bella and I haven't discussed our future in great detail just yet. We both know that we love each other and for now, that's enough.

.

* * *

><p><strong>AN…and it's a long one!**

First: I've got TWO entries in the **TWILIGHT ROUND of THE CANON TOUR CONTEST**. It's anonymous, but can you guess which ones are mine? There are 26 entries and the voting is open until November 4, 2011, with the results posted the next day. Please Read, Review…and Vote! h t t p :/ /www. fanfiction. net/u/3041014/thecanontour

Second: I've taken your votes in the poll on my profile into consideration and I've written **ALICE'S Journal Entry **for the Fandom for **Texas Wildfire Relief Compilation**. I will add the outtake here, but not until January 1, 2012. Go here to donate and get it, along with a LOT of great stories before then: h t t p : / /texasfires. ysar. info/

Third: I'll be writing **Carlisle's Journal Entry** for the **FANDOM GIVES BACK COMPILATION**. This year they are only doing a compilation, as opposed to an auction. Go here to find out how to donate: h t tp :/ /thefandomgivesback. blogspot. com/

Here are **500 of 2844** words in **ALICE'S JOURNAL ENTRY** to whet your reading appetite:

.

**TEASER for my** **Texas Wildfire Relief Compilation Piece:**

**.**

**.**

**.**

∞ **Alice Brandon-Whitlock-Cullen's Journal ∞**

**Saturday, March 19, 2005**

I need to come up with a plan.

I'm going to have to tell him. I've been keeping this secret, well, both of these secrets, for way too long. One of them I've kept for years.

In May of 1969 when I first saw Edward getting married—to a human—I was shocked. But the joy on his face in the vision was worth any distress I had. Jasper and I had been part of the Cullen family for nineteen years and I'd never seen him this way.

Once I knew what to look for, I kept my inner eye on his bride. The day I shared seeing him with her in the meadow was a banner day for my mate. Jasper had said that the happiness that poured from Edward was blissful to bask in.

In January, 1981, when I saw the van almost smash her, I was impressed that all of the family came together to try and pinpoint the time that this would happen. I loved that they came up with a plan to keep this vision from coming to fruition. Even Rose helped.

There aren't enough words to cover how we all felt when we saw Charlie holding her that first time in September 1987. Edward had sketched the vision almost as I quickly as I saw it. Esme, in particular, was touched by seeing Bella as a baby. Edward had said the name out loud dozens of times by the end of that day: Isabella Marie Swan—Bella. His bride had a name and she was actually on the earth with us.

When we saw Renée leaving with her a couple of years later, I wasn't the only one that wished we could shed tears.

Some of the family thought that the worst vision was the one where we saw Edward killing Bella. Even though it was hideous when I was having it, if I hadn't seen that outcome…it might have come true. Having the warning that she was his singer changed everything. Rosalie really came through for our family there. I don't think I've ever been more proud of her than when she found a way for him to be with his mate.

Bella _is_ his mate and there is no disputing that fact. I can see him fighting changing her, but it is going to be her decision. Her choice was mostly made after we all told her our stories. She's held back from making the decision solid because she will miss her dad and mom and she's worried about them. She's taken care of them for most of her life; at least it feels that way to her. And from the things I've seen and the things she's told us about her life, she's right about that, too.

I want both Edward and Bella to come to the decision before it's forced on them. I've seen the blood and the confusion…and the baby.

**.**

**.**

**Thank you LJ Summers! Your eagle eye is appreciated!**

**Whew…done with this long A/N! Thank you all for your continued support of this story. It touches me more than you can know!**

**Kathie**


	21. April 3, 2005 What does Alice know?

.

.

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**Sunday, April 3, 2005**

I'm stunned and I'm having a hard time grasping the fact that Alice had seen Bella, with golden eyes, in a vision years ago. Years! She let the vision slip into her mind just after our meeting with the Elders and the Pack last night.

Sam, his two pack brothers and the Elders met us at the treaty line and it went as well as we could have hoped. Carlisle used Jacob's indiscretion in speaking of the treaty—and us—to get them to modify some of the parameters. We hope to be able to work together to either convince any approaching nomads to leave peacefully, or to destroy them. Jasper has offered to teach the wolves a couple of fighting methods that will enhance their own innate vampire destroying skills. They are considering it. Emmett is looking forward to beating up on wolves as he _teaches_ them evasion techniques. I'd chastise him for his thoughts, as Carlisle wouldn't approve, but I want to smack some puppies too. I only wish that Jacob had already phased so that he could be in on the _fun_.

Bella says that she has begun to feel the heat from his body even when he stands an appropriate distance from her. I believe, as does Carlisle, that his change is imminent. My worry about Bella being close to him has ratcheted up several notches. We've told her about the volatility of young werewolves and she agrees that she needs to be careful. She wants the tensions to dissipate and has decided that if Jacob gets to know me, that maybe that will help. To that end, she's invited me over for dinner on the same night as the Blacks next week. I can hardly wait, I want to be there to make sure that Jacob can see our commitment to each other. Even that invitation can't take my mind off of last night.

We'd left the treaty line and once we were far enough away from the rapidly retreating Quileutes to not be heard, Emmett had asked Carlisle if he thought they'd ever bend the rules enough for me to change Bella. That comment had brought us all to a dead stop. Some of us in more shock than others.

Yes, I was shocked that he, of all of us, would even think of such a thing, but before I could say anything, I saw Bella—with her golden eyes full of love shining up at me—in Alice's mind. My gasp of her name had brought the family to surround the two of us.

As Alice shared the vision with the rest of the family, I realized that Jasper and Carlisle already knew about it. This is what they had been hiding!

Alice had been unrepentant as she told me that she'd seen this particular vision, which I'd only caught a glimpse of before she once again buried it beneath layers of subterfuge, just after Bella's birth in 1987! She'd been hiding it from me for years!

When I had reached for her shoulder, Jasper had hissed and placed himself between us. It's a good thing, as I may have just shaken her until she told me everything. As it is, she only offered me that one little hint and told me that I wasn't ready for the rest.

The rest? She's hiding more? I have actually been thinking about Bella as a vampire, as my equal in life, longevity, durability…and love. But more? That subtle feeling of worry that wafts from Jasper concerns me. The three that know have clamped a titanium steel cover over their thoughts. There is no getting any deeper into their minds, although I have tried.

Unfortunately all three of them are onto my ploy of asking them, "What don't you want me to know?"

Alice said she'd tell me when she thought I could handle the rest. She has no time frame for that and it makes me crazy.

I need a plan to find out what the rest of her vision is. I need to think on this…

* * *

><p>Remember: I've got TWO entries in the <strong>TWILIGHT ROUND of THE CANON TOUR CONTEST<strong>. It's anonymous, but can you guess which ones are mine? There are 26 entries and the voting is open until November 4, 2011, with the results posted the next day. Please Read, Review…and Vote! h t t p :/ /www. fanfiction. net/u/3041014/thecanontour

I've submitted my **ALICE'S Journal Entry **for the Fandom for **Texas Wildfire Relief Compilation**. I will add the outtake here, but not until January 1, 2012. Go here to donate and get it, along with a LOT of great stories (194 authors have signed up) before then: h t t p : / /texasfires. ysar. info/

I'll be writing **Carlisle's Journal Entry** for the **FANDOM GIVES BACK COMPILATION**. This year they are only doing a compilation, as opposed to an auction. This journal entry will be the day before the WEDDING! Go here to find out how to donate: h t tp :/ /thefandomgivesback. blogspot. com/

I posted the **TEASER for my** **Texas Wildfire Relief Compilation Piece at the end of the last chapter...here is another paragraph of ALICE'S JOURNAL:**

**.**

My gift as a seer depends upon decisions made. Sometimes I don't have the slightest clue how far removed the decision that makes what I see happen in actuality. It's kind of like that game people play, _Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon_; someone made a decision thirty-six years ago that caused me to see Edward and Bella's wedding. I'll never know what that decision was.

**.**

**Thank you all for your continued support of this story. It touches me so much!**

**Kathie**


	22. April 11, 2005 Dinner with the Blacks

.

.

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**Monday, April 11, 2005**

I still haven't been able to crack the secret that Alice, Jasper and Carlisle are holding in their minds. They've all assured me that it isn't bad, _per se_, but that I'm still not ready for it.

Alice has gone so far as to say that Bella would be ready for the information much earlier than I am. This makes me feel tense. The secret has something to do with both of us. I can't imagine what it could be. I've already seen the wedding, or at least the important parts. That vision has held true since we averted the whole, "I killed her because she's my singer," vision.

Thankfully.

I'm going to keep watch, and I hope they are right in that this isn't bad. My imagination can be somewhat overwhelming in its endeavors. I'm also going to watch to make sure that Alice doesn't tell Bella something that will disturb her. I do realize that she hasn't been bothered by the things she's learned so far about us, but surely there will come a time when she just runs. Surely there will be that final straw, the one that breaks the proverbial camel's back. I can't let that happen.

She is my life.

Dinner with the Blacks last week was interesting. Bella didn't tell them that I'd be there. I was helping her by chopping vegetables for the salad when I heard them turn onto her street. The boy's mind was here and there:

_Bella said she'd make lasagna. Damn, it's hot in here. It's so good…maybe she'll send some leftovers home with me and Dad. Dad keeps the heater up way too high in this truck._

He sounded more distracted than he usually did. Billy, on the other hand, was livid when he realized that I was at the house.

_What? That's the leech's car. He's here? I know that we have to obey the treaty, but this is ridiculous. Maybe I can make him show himself…_

They knocked on the door and Charlie had gone to let them in. Jacob, after a quick hello, had rushed into the kitchen. He had skidded to a stop when he saw me. Bella had thrown him a very offhand, "Hey, Jake, I think you know my boyfriend, Edward," and had gone back to tossing the salad.

His first reaction was to shake his head but then he'd nodded a greeting to me and asked if he could help. Bella had put him to work setting the table.

I'd listened to Charlie and Billy at the door.

"Billy, this is Bella's house, too, and she wants Edward here. I don't expect to have any trouble tonight. She's made us a fine meal and I want this to be a nice evening." He'd waited, along with me, to hear Billy's response.

"I know, Charlie. Maybe if I can get to know that boy, it won't be so bad." Of course those were his spoken words, not his thoughts at all. He really hoped to "out" me in some way.

They were interrupted when Bella announced that dinner was ready. I'd helped her get the lasagna out of the oven. She'd chuckled when she handed me a hot-pad, knowing that I didn't need it.

I'd placed the hot dish on the table with a sauce-less portion near my seat. Jacob had looked at the meal and asked, "What's up with this part with no sauce on it?"

Bella had waited until we were all seated before saying that I was allergic to the tomato sauce and she'd made a serving without it for me. Jacob had just shrugged and started to serve himself from the section covered in red sauce.

I'd placed a serving on my plate and had begun to use our preferred method of avoidance when Billy had brought Charlie's attention to me just as I had hoped to pretend to take a bite. Taking a deep breath, I'd taken the bite and swallowed before answering Billy's question. The rest of the meal continued like that. Charlie thought that Billy was really getting to know me, when in actuality Billy was just watching me shovel in lasagna. The Elders didn't know everything about us, but they did know that we don't eat.

Eating wasn't the worst part of my evening. Jacob's mind was all over the place. I was happy to note that he appeared to have eased up on his crush on Bella, but he was very easily distracted and I could hear a hint of strain as he sought to focus on something, on anything. I could also feel the heat of his body from where I sat across from him at the table. He was trying to decide if he was sick or just "nuts."

By the time the meal was over, Jacob was burning up. And his father wasn't noticing. He was still busy trying to come up with a way for me to show Charlie what I am.

When Jacob finally said something about not feeling well, Billy had really looked at him and I heard worry and fear in his mind. He'd seen the signs, but had hoped that there was still time. No one had told the boy what was coming. That seemed very irresponsible, in my opinion.

My worry for Bella had me offering to take Billy out to their truck after she suggested that she put some of the leftovers in containers for them to take with them. She knew I wanted to speak to Billy, so she had urged Jacob into the kitchen so that I'd have a few minutes alone with his father. I'd assessed Jacob's frame of mind, and he was back to being confused and feeling tired and just generally unwell. He wasn't on edge any longer, so it seemed safe to leave them alone for a few moments.

Charlie had thanked them for coming and had given Billy an encouraging smile. He'd felt that the evening had been a success, in that no blood had been shed. Charlie's thoughts made me laugh, just a little.

I'd eased Billy's wheelchair down the porch stairs and had taken him to his vehicle. His mind was jumping between worry about Jacob and anger at me for just _being_. The Elders felt that it was probably our presence that had caused the men in the Tribe to phase at this time. There hadn't been any since we'd left all those years ago, now we were back and men were phasing. It was certainly something to discuss with Carlisle. The genes were there, and maybe our presence triggered it.

If that were true, I was sorry. But more importantly, I wanted Bella to be safe from the volatility of new shifters.

Billy knew about my gift and, in the hopes that my words could help Jacob, I'd told him that his son was very close to phasing. I also told him that he thought he was crazy, so that maybe if Sam could speak to him, to tell him what to expect, maybe it would be easier on him.

Of course, that went over like a lead balloon. Billy had ranted, quietly so that none could hear, that this was _his_ son and he didn't need any leech's advice. I'd backed away as Jacob came out of the house.

His thoughts, at least, were easier to listen to. He'd noticed how happy Bella was having me there, in fact, he'd never seen her happier. Then he hoped that he wouldn't be wasting her dinner in a ditch somewhere and was very glad that his father was driving them home. In another change of thought, he'd hoped that his dad wouldn't want any of the leftovers and he'd get them all for lunch tomorrow.

I found it interesting that I felt some empathy for the boy. Probably because he'd finally let his crush go and wasn't obsessing about her kissing him.

The dinner had been on Monday and Bella had been worried about Jacob then. She'd called the Black home each day after school. Billy just kept telling her that Jacob had the flu and that he'd be fine. He finally stopped answering her calls after three days and that had made Bella quite angry.

Alice can't see Jacob at all now, and she had been able to earlier. It appears that he _has_ phased. On Friday, four days after the dinner, Bella had flat out asked me if Jacob was changing and I'd had to tell her that I thought he had.

It had annoyed her that Billy would have let Jacob come to her house if he was that close to phasing. Of course, she wasn't worried about herself, but about what would have happened to Charlie if Jacob had gotten riled up and had phased at dinner.

My Bella amazes me, always worried about everyone else, never about herself. When I said something about that, she'd said that it was apparently my job to worry about her, so why should she worry? I did it well enough.

Emmett had laughed at her comment and had called me "WorryWard" for two days. I'd finally threatened to bury his Jeep and not tell him where before he backed off.

The Pack has put off Jasper's offer to help train them for another week. We think it's because they are waiting for Jacob to gain a little control so he can join them for the training. Even though I'm not quite as angry at the boy for lusting after my Bella, I have to say that I hope he does join us. Smacking him will be very therapeutic. It is my intention to not hit him with my full strength, unless, of course, his thoughts go down the wrong path.

Instead of thinking of the pups any longer, I've got to come up with a plan to ask Bella to the Prom. She really hates to dance, but maybe I can convince her that it's all in the leading.

* * *

><p>an…Edward still doesn't know what they are keeping hidden. Of course, if you donated to the Texas Wild Fire Compilation, you all know what Alice has been hiding!

Thank you, **LJ Summers** and **u2shay**...your eagle eyes make this a much better production!

I'm tasked to write something for THE FANDOM GIVES BACK to benefit ALEX'S LEMONADE STAND...it was going to be Carlisle's journal entry...but now I have something else in mind...a fic that follows Mr Misters' HUNTERS OF THE NIGHT...

I'm blessed…I get to go to **FORKS, WA** to watch **BREAKING DAWN** next week…A lovely group of women and I are staying at a great house (we are calling it the CULLEN HOUSE…it has a PIANO!) and spending the week in Forks, La Push and First Beach. We'll be dining at Bella Italia and taking in the midnight showing of BD. So…I'm not going to be available to write…but I will be plotting out the next journal entry. It will take place AFTER Prom...sometime in their summer...

Thanks for reading and all of your wonderful support. I really DO have the best readers in the fandom!

Happy Breaking Dawn to you all!

Kathie


	23. May 30, 2005 Prom

.

.

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**Monday, May 30, 2005**

**...Prom...**

I enjoyed, more than words can say, dancing with Bella at the Prom last Friday. She hadn't wanted to go, but finally agreed if we wouldn't stay very long…and if Alice wouldn't go nuts over the preparations. Alice had stomped her foot and compromised by saying that if Bella would go shopping with her and Rosalie _and_ let Alice choose her dress, Bella could choose her own shoes. When Alice whispered that I really wanted to go to the Prom with her, my beloved had finally agreed.

Alice had found a dress that both Bella and I appreciated. The soft dark blue fabric covered enough of her skin to make her feel comfortable and yet showed enough that I was mesmerized the entire evening. The skirt came to just below her knee and, as she said, swished. She liked the sound it made and I loved the way it looked on her.

Charlie had agreed to let me make dinner for Bella at their house. I'd told him that I'd need him to taste everything for me and he'd agreed. After his first taste, he'd said that I could use his kitchen anytime if I'd always leave all of the leftovers for him. It was a deal I could make easily.

After I'd picked Bella up at my house, where she and my sisters had gotten ready, and after Esme had taken dozens of pictures of us all, she'd enjoyed the meal I'd prepared. Charlie had used his camera to good effect also. He said that Renée had insisted that he take a lot so she could have some.

My siblings had joined us for the dance. Leave it to Rose to always want to be the center of attention. But Bella had been pleased that they'd come with us. She felt that with Rose there, the spotlight would be far away from her. She didn't understand that the male students had a hard time choosing who to gape at. Some of whom were close to whiplash as their heads swiveled between Rose, Bella and Alice.

At one point the DJ put on Dwight Yoakam's _Crazy Little Thing Called Love_. Jasper and Alice wowed the students by doing the jitterbug. When he flipped her at the end, the crowd had cheered wildly for them. A short while later, Jasper had asked Bella to dance when the waltz that he'd requested came on. No one else was dancing as the students looked at each other in confusion.

Bella had told him that if he even _thought_ about flipping her like he'd done to Alice, well, she'd be showing the crowd what she'd eaten for dinner. Jasper had laughed, a sound never heard anywhere near the school before. Everyone had looked at him and the hilarity that he'd shot out to the surrounding students had everyone laughing. He'd then swept Bella into a waltz.

Emmett and Rose had joined them on the empty floor and for a few moments everyone just watched the couples as they glided smoothly around the space. A gasp had been heard when Ben had pulled Angela into his arms and began waltzing with her. Their grace was beautiful to behold. Ben was silently grateful to his mom for making him take dance lessons a couple of years ago. He was thrilled to have Angela in his embrace. For her part, Angela had never felt so cherished as they waltzed around the room. It was lovely see and to hear. After a few moments several other students joined them with much less grace, but with enthusiasm.

I'd caught Bella's eye as she spun before me. She was grinning and her cheeks were flushed. Jasper, with a smirk on his face, asked mentally if I was ever going to cut in. My smile was wide as I slipped into his place and held Bella in my arms. The crowd was getting into it, and the DJ played a second waltz, much to my enjoyment, before he switched to something from this decade.

Bella had laughed and collapsed against me when the music changed. We decided that we'd had enough and said our goodbyes to the family.

The only blight on the evening came when I had paused to kiss her by my Vanquish. The aroma of wet dog had wafted over me and I quickly tucked Bella behind me as Jacob had stepped from the tree line.

The Pack had been putting off our training session until Jacob could join them. Sam and Carlisle had spoken a couple of times, face to face, to work on adapting the treaty to fit our current situation.

Jacob had come to verify that we still wanted to help them train and to set up a time for that. Bella exclaimed over his growth spurt and his new, shorter hair cut. He'd actually been a bit embarrassed by her attention. He retaliated by asking how many times she's fallen off her kitten heels. Their banter sounded like my siblings. At least he didn't appear to be pining for her and that was a weight off of my mind. Sam had told him about the conversation that he had shared with Carlisle, about her being my mate. Vampires had mates, just like wolves had imprints. He now knew that Bella and I belonged together and that he didn't stand a chance.

Yes, it was a weight off my mind. But that didn't mean that I wouldn't still keep an eye on him. He was a teenager in an adult body. I couldn't be too careful.

Our evening had ended with Bella inviting me to cuddle with her under the electric blanket. Neither one of us had wanted the night to end. With a blush on her cheeks, Bella had confided that dancing with me had been fun and that she might be enticed to do it again.

Her comments gave me hope that we could enjoy another dance at some point. I didn't tell her that I hoped I wouldn't have to wait until our wedding for that to happen! Maybe we could attend the senior Prom _next year_.

Here, at the end of this wonderful evening, I can't help but question what Bella would think of Alice's vision of her with golden eyes. We've spoken briefly about forever, but she's still undecided. We are still getting to know each other and she's learning to trust that forever with her is a concept that I've totally embraced.

I also wonder if the treaty can be amended to allow for her change, if that were her choice. Of course, it says that we may not _bite_ anyone, but if the venom were introduced into a heart via a syringe, well, it wouldn't be by a _bite_, now would it?

I still don't know the full extent of Alice's vision. I know that the three of them are holding something back, something besides the fact of Bella's change. They are all still exceedingly close-minded. As stubborn as my Bella can be, there's nothing more so than my family members when they've decided to keep me out of their minds. They'll slip up, eventually. And then I'll know.

* * *

><p>an….ah, Forks was a blast! Our group did our "Vamp Tour" on a misty, rainy, sleety day…it was perfect for viewing the **FORKS sign, Charlie's workplace (pictures of the police cars), The Cullen House, The Swan House, Dr. Carlisle Cullen's parking sign at the Forks Hospital, The Thriftway and the FORKS OUTFITTERS where Bella Swan is the EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR**…and for chatting with Marsha at the Chamber of Commerce. She was a hoot and signed our books, _TWILIGHT TOURS…an Illustrated guide to the REAL Forks_. She's in there, on page 28. She's also in the credits to the movies, as they asked for her input.

We spent a SUNNY day at **La Push, First** AND **Second Beach**…and taking pictures next to **Jake's** motorcycle, which was chained to **Billy's** mailbox.

Just before our group watched BD1, my 20 y/o daughter got her picture with a JAMES look-a-like…sans shirt, plus the leather jacket. Yes, it was a MOMENT!

I'm BACK now…and hope to continue updating this and my other story bits.

I have to apologize. I didn't answer any reviews while I was gone…and when I got back I spent two nights in my own bed before heading off to spend Thanksgiving with the in-laws. I'm hoping to get back on track and my reviews answered soon! You all bless me with your words. But I did think that you'd like an update NOW…!

Thanks, so very much, for all of your lovely support. My readers are the BEST! And **LJ Summers** and **u2shay** are the best betas EVER! Thank you, ladies...you make this a much better read! All remaining mistakes are my own...

Kathie


	24. June 20, 2005 His Birthday

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**June 20, 2005**

**My Birthday**

This was the best birthday I've had since the one where Alice saw Bella's face and shared that vision with me. Today, I held the love of my existence in my arms and it felt better than I even hoped it could on that long ago day.

This morning, just after she woke, Bella gave me a birthday gift—a composition book—a place to put all my new music. I've been inspired by Bella and new music comes to me practically every day. One more thing, on a very long list, to be grateful to Bella for.

I keep thinking it, and then writing it in this journal, but this really has been the best summer ever. Just like this year was the best Valentine's Day, and best dance and best…well, everything. And it's all because Isabella Marie Swan is in my life.

After school ended for the year, Bella got a part time job at Newton's. I'd told her that she didn't _need_ to work, that what was mine, was hers. She's then informed me that we weren't married…or engaged. The family had laughed at her stubbornness. And I had given her rides to and from work whenever she'd allow me to do so. She only worked the morning shifts. She told me that her work hours were the hours I needed to hunt, compose music, play video games with my brothers or just do something. She's so bossy and I love it.

I had been worried about Mike's advances. His mind had been full of fear for about ten seconds when he realized that Bella was going to be working at the store, with him. The memory of my gleaming teeth all those months ago had come to the front of his mind. But then, he figured that he'd take this opportunity to move in on Bella. During her first day, he'd made some light, flirtatious comments. They'd escalated during the week. She'd told him, over and over, that I was her boyfriend and she'd never want to go out with him. He just didn't get it. I'd wanted to go in and make him mind his manners, but Bella had insisted that she could handle the situation and that I needed to trust her.

Last week Alice had told me that I should be in the Outfitter's parking lot on one particular day and that I should not, _for any reason_, go into the store. So, there I was, on my birthday, having a front row seat to Mike's downfall. I had been waiting to pick her up as we were going to have a picnic in our meadow. I heard him start to _make his move, _his words_, _not mine. He'd snuck up behind her and waited until she was putting a box of boots on an upper shelf. Then he'd grasped her by the waist, making sure that his fingers met the soft flesh beneath her shirt. He'd tucked his face into the side of her neck and breathed in her luscious scent. He was thinking that he'd like to lick her neck…

I had almost flown out of the car, and out into the rare Forks' sunshine, when I saw, through his eyes, Bella deck him.

She had thrown a beautiful punch that connected solidly with Mike's nose. To compound matters, she'd also raised her knee firmly into his crotch. I couldn't see anything else as he tumbled to the ground with his eyes closed. I could hear him screaming from where I sat in the car.

Mrs. Newton had rushed to the scene and assessed the situation. I'd slipped into her mind as Bella told her what had occurred. Bella had backed up to the end of the aisle, as Mike's nose was bleeding profusely. She was not fond of flowing blood. Mrs. Newton glared down at her son, thinking, "I warned him!" She asked if Bella was going to bring sexual harassment charges against him. Bella had stated that she wouldn't do so, _if_ she didn't have to work with him anymore. A deal was struck that Mike would only work the afternoons and evenings while Bella continued to work the morning shifts. Mrs. Newton let Bella go early. Her mind was full of gratitude that they wouldn't have to pay off _another_ lawsuit.

When Bella got into the car, her smile was wide, even as she cradled her abused hand carefully to her chest. My cold hands soothed her bruises and I'd complimented her on her style. She'd laughed and said that Charlie had trained her well.

An incoming text from Alice had read: _Told you so! Happy Birthday!_

∞**EAC∞**

* * *

><p>AN…. Okay, this tumbled into my mind last night. Had to write it. More to come! Not beta'd…hope there aren't too many mistakes!

Kathie


	25. July 17, 2005 Vampire Games

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**Sunday, July 17, 2005**

We had scheduled another training session with the wolves late this afternoon when the cloud cover was going to be thickest, without the chance of rain. This makes the fourth one. What was different about it was that Bella came along with the family. She'd asked last time, but I was worried about her seeing us at a more _primal_ level. Some of our skirmishes could get rather…intense.

I'd also wanted young Jacob to be more in control of his inner beast. He alone of the Pack was enjoying our training sessions. The others were still very stiff and formal. It made it easier to toss them around. Bella had agreed to wait until I thought it was safer for her, but she insisted that she would be there at least once, even if she had to get Emmett to carry her there. That had gotten my back up and I'd agreed to her attending at some point.

This morning, Bella had asked again and I'd reluctantly agreed to allow her to accompany us. She'd immediately turned to Esme and asked if she'd like to help make cookies to share with the Pack. Esme had looked sad and pointed out that Sam had thrown their last joint venture into a tree.

A steely light filled my beloved's eyes and she had stated firmly that she was making cookies and they had better be eaten. Emmett laughed and said that if the dogs didn't eat them voluntarily, he'd force a few down some furry throats.

Bella actually looked a little scary as she baked. I've seen that look on Rosalie's face a time or two when she was particularly annoyed. I couldn't wait to see what the Pack made of Bella and her cookies. Esme made a double batch of chocolate chip and Bella made her grandmother's peanut butter cookie recipe. I don't know much about cooking in any way, shape or form, but that recipe was odd and I had questioned her on it.

She'd assured me that it _worked_ as she tripled the amounts: three cups peanut butter, three cups sugar and three eggs. Emmett left the room as she mixed the ingredients with her hands, stating the smell of peanut butter was almost as bad as the stink of the wolves themselves. Bella just laughed and waved her batter-covered hand beneath his nose saying, "Who needs a stake…when you have peanut butter on hand?" Her laughter had followed him out of the house.

After the bake-off ended, Bella and I drove her newly painted truck to the trailhead close to the treaty line. The family had run from the house, but Bella was enjoying the truck even more now that Rosalie had worked on the engine and added a cherry red paint job to the classic body. Even Charlie was impressed at how well it ran now.

Parking and locking the behemoth, Bella had then patted the finish, adjusted the straps of the pack across her shoulders and hopped on my back. This was one of the best parts of the day. Feeling her warm and secure, pressed firmly against my body. She still didn't look around much, but I could feel the exhilaration in the way her breathing ramped up and the giggles that filled my ears.

We arrived at the practice field just after the family. A growl left my throat when I realized that the Pack had grown once again. Instead of just Sam, Paul, Jared and Jacob, there were two new pups leaving the tree line. Quil and Embry, Jacob's best friends, were now wearing their wolf pelts. From their minds, I discerned that they had been in the Pack since the day after our last training session, so about ten days. The spiky edges that I had noticed in Jacob's mind just after he had phased for the first time were no longer in the boys' minds. That gave me some hope that they'd be able to keep control around my Bella. Sam, hearing my growled response, had told me that they were not a danger to her.

Bella, of course, was happy to see Jacob with his friends, although she did glare at the older wolves. I don't think she's forgiven them for ruining her cake some weeks ago.

Jacob had his friends to join him in phasing so that they could greet Bella in their own skins. After a few moments the three of them had met us in the middle of the training field, ratty shorts hanging off of their hips. Alice had _tsked_ at the sight as she wondered if she could find them something better to wear and if she _did_, would actually wear it. Sam and his original Pack members chose to stay in their fur.

When it appeared that Jacob meant to hug Bella in greeting, another growl had left my throat. He rolled his eyes and stopped several feet away from us. Sam had directed him to introduce Quil and Embry to the family. The two new wolves were a bit subdued, but then almost everyone seemed that way when compared to Jacob. He had certainly embraced his inner wolf and was enjoying the perks: speed, toned body, super human strength and an accelerated rate of healing. He employed his heightened sense of smell, and said to Bella, "You brought a snack!"

My entire family had stood stock still in shock. Those were the exact words that Laurent had uttered before James had tried to kill my beloved.

Bella had laughed, breaking the spell, and said she'd brought cookies. The two other boys inhaled deeply, with Embry saying, "Chocolate chip, my favorite!"

Sam had barked to get their attention and I'd translated. He wanted to get the training over with so that they could then bathe the smell of vampire off of themselves and get home to their families. Bella had assured the boys that the cookies would be waiting when they finished. They'd grinned and run back into the trees to phase.

Remembering the way that Bella had gotten between Alice and Emmett at the ball game, I made her promise to stay out of the middle of anything. Esme had asked if she'd like a bird's eye view of the session, and when Bella agreed, she'd swept her up and leaped into the top of a sturdy tree. Bella's laughter at the maneuver caught everyone's attention as the two women settled onto a branch. Esme had called down to me that she'd keep Bella safe. And Jacob had told me to tell Bella to keep the cookies safe. That's when I realized that I was rolling my own eyes at the situation. Bella was certainly rubbing off on me.

The training session went well. Sam only had to call Paul to order once, which was better than it had been during some of the other gatherings. He was ready to take a vampire apart and was wishing that he could just do it already.

He might have an opportunity sooner than he thought. Alice had seen a vision of a nomad heading in our direction. She'd lost sight of him when he had neared Port Angeles. She thought it might be because the wolves got involved. Carlisle told Sam about the vision. When Jared and Paul wanted to rush to meet the vampire, Carlisle had said that it was one thing to defend against harm, but another thing to look for someone to kill.

Sam had agreed and the two of them had come up with a plan of sweeps that would keep our area and the Reservation protected. The wolves were hoping that they would have the opportunity to use their innate skills against the _bad guys_. I was pleased that most of them didn't think we were the bad ones.

I was also sure that I wouldn't be letting Bella out of my sight until that particular danger was past. Surely she'd let me stay with her 24/7 until the nomad was gone on his way or destroyed.

When the session was over, Esme leaped lightly to the ground with a laughing Bella in her arms. Bella immediately took the bags of cookies out of her pack and called to the boys. Paul turned up his nose and started to trot away. He stopped when Bella herself growled!

"I made these cookies and I expect them to be eaten! It's not like I'm going to poison you! If I wanted to do thatm I'd invite you over for Charlie's cooking…now, eat some cookies." Another growl left her throat and, after a stunned moment, laughter from most of those there had broken out.

Sam and Paul then _politely_ declined and headed home after Sam had given the others instructions on when to run their sweeps.

The rest of the wolves had phased and enjoyed the cookies, thanking both Bella and Esme profusely. Jacob then asked when he was going to be allowed back at her house for a real meal. She'd told him that he could come anytime, but he had to be prepared to intercept his dad's attempts to out me by making me eat.

That eased the tension that had filled me when he'd asked. She was going to have me there when he was. Although I trusted him to a small degree, I knew I'd be on edge if he were in the house and I wasn't. My Bella had known this and wasn't going to let me worry.

After making plans to have the Blacks over for dinner later in the week, Bella had slipped into my arms and kissed me on the nose. This time it was the wolves rolling their eyes, but I didn't care. Having her close to me was always a win. Even if she did still smell like peanut butter.

* * *

><p>AN...HUGE thanks to **LJ Summers** and **u2shay** for helping me delete a PILE of "hads"...gah...that is one overused word in THIS fic. All remaining mistakes are MINE.

BTW...that's a real recipe from MY grandmother: 1 cup sugar, 1 cup peanut butter, 1 egg...mix well, form into balls, squish with a cup or fork, bake at 375 for about 9 minutes (give or take a couple of minutes)...you can mix mini chocolate chips in if you'd like. My twitter friends call it the ONE TWEET recipe:

1 c sugar, 1 c PB, 1 egg, Mix, Smash, Bake 375 for 9 minutes

LOL...

So...vampire games, were they fun?

I'm not too worried about the nomad, there's plenty of protection around Bella, and wolves getting anxious to put their training to use. I think Paul still wants to rip a Cullen apart, but that's just HIM.

Everyone waiting for updates on my other fics, I'm sorry! THIS one just keeps nagging me in the middle of the night...it will surely be COMPLETE soon, and then I can focus on my others. Oh, and I was going to post the rest of HUNTERS OF THE NIGHT on the 10th, but have been directed to wait until the 14th. So look for it then.

Thanks, again, for all of your lovely support! I'm trying to get caught up on my reviews! Do keep your PM's ALLOWED if you want to hear back from me.

Kathie


	26. July 23, 2005 Nomad

.

.

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

**Saturday, July 23, 2005**

Paul is healing well. He's lucky he's _alive_ to heal.

Last night was Bella's dinner for the Blacks. She had prepared side dishes and a dessert, but when she went to the freezer to get the steaks, Charlie had stopped her. He said it was a tradition that he and Billy would go to the Thriftway and choose their steaks personally. They knew the butcher and he had been given a head's up that they would be there soon.

Bella had shrugged and when the Blacks arrived, Jacob came into the yard and Charlie left, after giving us instructions to get the grill going. He'd eyed Jacob's much larger frame and had said that maybe he'd be bringing him a side of beef. The young wolf had grinned and told him to _bring it_. Bella and I had already told him that smaller cuts would be okay with us.

After they left, Jacob had laughed and said that he'd eat mine for me. I had already planned to slip bites onto his plate and I'd grinned back at him. This surprised me. We really were getting along well and it felt strange. Bella had smiled at the two of us, pleased that we were no longer acting like _junk yard dogs_—her words, not mine.

While the fire settled into coals, Jacob had looked from me to Bella and back again. I had my arms around her and she was leaning back into my chest. She finally said, "Spit it out, puppy."

He groaned and then said he had a confession to make. The elders and Sam had been filling the young wolves in on how imprinting worked…he confessed that he had hoped that Bella was his imprint, and not just because of the way she cooked.

Jacob had gone on to say that after he looked at her for the first time since phasing, he was glad she wasn't. She and I had been standing together, just looking into each other's eyes, our hands resting on each other's hips. He said that he could see how much we loved each other and when Bella had turned her head and met his eyes, her love for me shone there. If she had been his imprint, he would have felt the need to fight me and he had been pretty sure that she wouldn't appreciate that. He made a joke about how he wouldn't want to miss out on all of her cooking if she never wanted to see him again.

Bella had taken his hand and told him that he would find his own imprint some day, and she would be perfect for him, just as I was perfect for her. And she would continue cooking for him at least weekly.

Before things could get mushier, my cell phone had vibrated. It was an incoming text from Alice and read:

**The nomad is near, just SW of Hunger Mountain and heading our direction. **

**Esme and Rosalie are on their way to protect Bella. **

**We need you to join us with the wolves.**

Bella had read over my shoulder and Jacob had asked, "What?"

I'd filled him in and he moved to the trees to phase. Bella said that she'd think of something to tell her father and that we should just go. She'd be fine until the women got to her.

Of course, I had wanted to stay until they actually arrived, but she'd insisted and by that time I could hear Esme's mind urging me to hurry. I gave Bella a brief kiss just as Jacob had howled from the trees, his mind entangled with his Pack brothers. She had caressed my cheek and then I left.

It always took me a couple of moments to get my bearings in the Pack mind. But once I did, I could see that Paul had crossed the nomad's trail and even though the others were yelling at him to wait, he was pushing to get to the nomad first.

He had imprinted on Jacob's sister Monday after our training session. He was now focused on keeping her safe, his mind nearly out of control with the need to do so. The others were mentally running through some of the drills that Jasper had taught them. Through Embry's eyes I saw my family join them on their run toward the nomad.

Jacob and I joined up with my family and the wolves as we all neared Hunger Mountain. All of the wolves had hissed when they saw that Paul faced the red-eyed nomad in a clear cut meadow, his mind a mass of anger and hatred.

We were close enough that I could see the nomad through Paul's eyes. He was of medium build, with black hair and dressed in jeans and a faded plaid shirt. A grin covered his face as he glanced at the wolf that circled him.

"A werewolf—I didn't know that the States had those. I may have to put my search for Victoria on hold and take you on, wolf, and maybe take out your entire litter, too. I haven't had that kind of fun since I was last in Russia." Paul's mind had gone ballistic at the thought of this creature coming anywhere near his imprint and he had lunged forward. His innate instincts kept him away from some of the blows that the nomad threw his way, but he was one wolf against a seasoned warrior and he really didn't stand a chance.

We all heard the pain-filled howl as we entered the clearing. Paul's body flew through the air toward us. Carlisle caught him and gently laid him on the ground. Within seconds we had the nomad surrounded. The grin slowly left his face when he saw that there were vampires _and_ wolves surrounding him.

With Carlisle staying with Paul, Jasper took command of the situation.

"You are trespassing. You need to go elsewhere."

The nomad, his red eyes gleaming, nodded briefly. "I'm looking for someone, my daughter, Victoria. She said she'd be outside of Seattle after she came to this area. I waited and when she didn't arrive, I tracked her in this direction to see what was keeping her."

My family had looked at each other. He was looking for the coven that we had destroyed weeks ago. Before we could say anything, he had sneered at the wolves standing with us.

"So, vampires keep pets now?" The wolves had growled and taken several steps closer to him. Jasper raised his hand and they stopped.

"They are our allies and they protect this area." Jasper glanced at Alice who was close beside me. He shot me a question, _Do we tell him about Victoria?_

In the sign language we had created for use in our family, I'd asked Alice the question. A grimace on her face told us that she couldn't see anything because of the wolves' interference. Jasper nodded and made his own decision to tell the nomad that his search would be fruitless.

"We encountered Victoria and her coven some time ago. James led an attack on us. She and James are no more. Laurent, their companion, is on the other side of the world now."

There was a brief moment of utter stillness as the vampire, Eoin, remembered his first sight of the fiery red-headed woman. He thought about the three days of her change, as she screamed his name in agony, and then running with her for many years before she met James. He had never thought the two were mates, but she loved James and he had to let her go. Memories of their reunions ran through his mind; they'd meet up every couple of years, spend a few days together and then part again. There was no surprise in his mind that James had brought about their destruction.

Eoin hoped that James had felt incredible pain as he was dismembered and burned.

Jasper had let me know that the only feeling Eoin was broadcasting was one of extreme loss. There was no revenge in the tidal wave of emotion that he was sending out.

Taking a deep breath, Eoin raised his head and looked again at all of us. Shaking his head, he scoffed. "I don't want to be anywhere near here. Vampires and werewolves. I wonder what Caius would say to that?"

Tension rose in my family, while the wolves were just confused at Eoin's words.

"I'm sure that Caius wouldn't care, as these are _shifters_, not the true Children of the Moon that Caius hunted nearly to extinction in the old world," Carlisle said as he joined us, his mind full of the need to get Paul back to where he could be treated for a broken shoulder and crushed femur. He'd done what he could, but there was more to be done.

"Truly?" Eoin asked as he looked closer at the wolves standing with us. "Well, in that case he probably wouldn't care then. Not that I plan on seeing him anytime soon. One really does try to stay away from the unholy trio."

I'd searched his mind for any lie in his words. The only thing he was thinking was that he wanted to get away, far away, and grieve over the loss of Victoria. It was rather sad to think that this vampire mourned her more than James ever would have. James was only using her gift; he really didn't love her.

As he discussed our eye color with Carlisle, I signed to Jasper that he should be allowed to go, but I knew the wolves were not going to be happy about that. I was right.

They found no comfort in the fact that there would more than likely be a nomad that didn't want to leave peaceably at some point in the future. Sam had phased to debate their concerns. He had finally given in to Carlisle's counsel and phased back, with Eoin looking on in amazement.

Eoin left, accompanied to the far outskirts of Port Angeles by two of the Pack. Paul was not happy to be carried in Carlisle's arms, but it was really the only way to get him back before his bones had set too firmly. As it was, Carlisle had to use an extreme amount of pressure to realign everything. That's when the howling started. Jacob and I were grateful that we had to get back to Bella's house.

A text from Esme had us stopping by the house to pick up her car. She and Bella had told the father's that she, being alone in the house, had asked us to fix a faucet for her, and that being the good boys we were—Jacob had snickered at that—we had driven back over to fix it. Rose had stayed in the woods, keeping guard, while Esme had charmed Charlie. She had oohed and ahhed over their choice in steak and kept him laughing as she told stories about my youth.

Billy had been stoic, but had managed to remain polite while Esme chatted on, encouraged by Bella's laughter at my expense.

When we arrived, a few words from Billy in Quileute and Jacob's response in the same language, had eased his father's tension. I really need to learn that language. Bella came into my arms and the frown on her face was smoothed away when I whispered that everything was fine.

Esme had thanked us for fixing the faucet and even though Charlie had invited her to stay and enjoy the grilled meat, she'd said she had to get home to Carlisle. She had patted him on the shoulder and said that he would have to come over for dinner sometime. He'd blushed and said that would be great. Bella comes by her rosy cheeks honestly, that's for sure.

I told her about Paul later when we were alone cleaning up and she decided that she'd make a meal to take over for him. Maybe Rachel, his imprint, could even convince him to eat it. They'd been friends when Bella was much younger and she was looking forward to seeing her again.

Later, as she was sleeping, I thought about something that Jasper had mentioned. He'd said that Alice would keep an eye on Eoin to make sure that he didn't decide to _out_ the pups to Caius. That would be a very bad thing. I didn't think he would. His mind had been full of sadness, and a solid fear of the Volturi. He was right. No one wanted to come to their attention, especially me, as I held my human love in my arms.

It was time to speak to her about forever…and changing.

* * *

><p>AN…**Eoin** is the Celtic spelling for Owen. My girls think it's a cool name.

Seems like a lot of you made the ONE TWEET cookies! Fun and yummy, aren't they? You can also smash them with your thumb and fill the impression with JAM…then you have PB&J cookies!

Thanks to **u2shay** for pointing out a few things here! I do appreciate you! All other mistakes are mine.

**LJ Summers** asked how much more of this there will be…and I'm thinking about six more entries…about…! Did you know that GUARDING EDWARD was outlined as a TWENTY chapter fic? Yeah, I threw that outline out at chapter three and the story was 50 chapters…BUT I really don't see this going that long…maybe…!

Everyone ready for Christmas? Our decorating is done and we've made CHOCOLATE ROLL-UP…next up is SPRITZ cookies…and SHOPPING. I've only got a very small portion done…sigh…but I have a LIST, which helps.

FFN came up with a nifty way to spread the word about fics…see up there at the top of the page where it says SHARE? There's a little twitter bird…you can tweet this chapter easily now…would appreciate any tweets you feel like making! I'm guardingkatmom over there.

Have a blessed day, everyone! You bless me with your lovely words! Can't thank you enough! I am still working through your many reviews…I got behind while in Forks and with all the writing I've been doing, well, I thought you might want chapters more than review responses, but I will get them all answered!

Again, **thank you**!

Kathie

**Editing to add**: Oh! A fan fic of this! By Bells[dot]JustBells! She took that broken faucet from NOMAD and ran with it! Please go and read it!

h t t p : / / www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/s/7652427/1/#


	27. August 29, 2005 Bella Writes

**.**

**.**

∞**EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞**

August 29, 2005

Dear Edward,

I hope that you aren't mad that I'm writing in your journal. Gosh, my handwriting looks hideous next to your elegant script. With texting and easy access to computers, people really don't get much practice in making their handwriting legible anymore. I really should write more letters.

I digress, sorry!

As you read this, Alice, Esme, Rose and I are on our way to Seattle, as you know. We are spending the night there while we shop for our _school fashions_. I'd told Alice that we could get everything we needed in Port Angeles, but she disagreed. She also pointed out that giving you these two days to think about what I've written here would be a good thing. And, as everyone always says, one shouldn't bet against Alice. Of course, I think she mostly said that so that we would have to spend _two days_ in Seattle.

Okay, the fact is, when you were hunting last night with your brothers, Alice came over and we had a long talk. She gave me a lot to think about, and she offered me this journal, knowing from a vision that I'd need someplace to "talk it out." Please know, Edward, that I didn't read back through these pages. Even though you let me read this journal the first time I was at your house, I wouldn't feel right to read it again, not without your express permission.

As soon as you guys were gone, she told me how she had a tidal wave of visions back in March when she and Jasper went away for a weekend. And a few small ones that she's hidden since nearly the first vision she saw about us. She's been keeping them from you. Mostly. She did tell me that she let the sight of me with golden eyes slip to you in April.

There's a lot you don't know about these visions, but she said that she thought I might be ready to hear them now. She's still not sure about your response to her visions and since you didn't mention her slip-up to me, I'm guessing she's right to have at least a few concerns. She did say that in some visions, you hear the content and you run. That worries me…a lot.

Edward, even though we haven't talked about me becoming like you, I am beginning to believe that you really do want me _forever_ forever. _If that sentence even makes sense._ You've said it a time or two and I'm coming to believe that even though I am me…and you are, well, you, and I can see the inequality there, but for some reason, I am coming to believe that you do love me as much as I love you. And I know that I love you more than words can even say. And, deep breath, I can see me agreeing to my change.

In the few months we've come to know each other, you really have changed my perception of love. It's a bigger thing, a deeper thing than I ever even imagined it could be. I used to scoff at people being in love, they always seemed to be slightly goofy. But now I see that it is more than that. Goofy feelings do overwhelm me sometimes, especially when you try to dazzle me. But, I also have never felt more secure, or more wanted, or needed, than I have since I fell in love with you. You make me feel so much. Love is bigger than I imagined.

Your family has changed my perception of marriage. Renée and Charlie are not the best representatives of marriage, even though I used to think they were. They are just a small portion of that. Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie…they are the ones that have opened my eyes to what marriage can be. And I can see that one lifetime just isn't long enough to love you.

Of course, thinking about me being old and wrinkly and basically looking like my grandmother, while you are still so young and fresh and hot…well, that does not fill me with joy. I'm pretty sure I could have nightmares about that. I'm pretty sure that even with own issues over the way I look, I'd rather look this way forever than look like anyone's grandmother! We really need to talk about this.

AND digressing…again.

Alice's main reason for telling me these things is that she thinks I should know _all_ the facts before I make _any_ decisions. She thinks that you have been thinking about this, angsting over it actually, as some of her future visions have been bouncing back and forth like a ball in a game of tennis. I was glad to hear that our wedding vision has stayed firm.

So, I'm going to tell you what she knows, and how I feel about it.

First, now I know why I sometimes catch Carlisle looking at me in a totally assessing way!

And Jasper! He grins like he knows the biggest secret in the universe, then he slips me a shot of anticipation with just a hint of amazement and something like awe. It's weird and makes me feel giddy and then he stops. Makes me feel like I've been on a roller coaster. The only thing missing is the wind in my face!

I'm going to just put the facts out here and let you see what she's seen.

Just after she first saw our wedding thirty years ago, Alice saw me with my arms around her waist, her arms around mine, our faces wreathed in smiles…and my eyes a bright shade of crimson. Yes, she's seen me changed since practically the first vision. She's really tired of keeping that secret, that's for sure. She said that our smiles are etched on her heart.

Freaked out yet? I actually found myself feeling pretty calm at her first confession. Yes, I've thought about it a couple of times since the family told me their stories. I've wondered what it would be like to not be clumsy and tripping over my own feet time after time. What would Emmett have to laugh about then?

Although Alice has seen our wedding vision remain firm, and she went into some detail about it, I am still not engaged until I've been asked. Just so you know. I did have to restrain Alice from showing me sketches of my wedding gown. Way too surreal for me. Kind of weird knowing that you've seen it, too. I was, and remain, human in all of those visions.

Then she saw little bits of our honeymoon. I think my face must have been beet red when she said that. BUT she said she was only looking to make sure things were okay. And they were. Okay, I mean. She didn't see a blood bath or anything like that, although she did say that there were feathers at some point. Feathers, really? Okay, whatever. STILL blushing as I think about her seeing anything about that.

But that's when her visions got weird. Like having visions isn't weird enough, right?

Are you sitting down? Maybe you should be. I know I sat down for this next part.

After the wedding and honeymoon visions, she kind of leaped forward in time as she saw me with golden eyes. Edward, she said that we were both happier than she's ever seen us. But she saw that you and I were looking at _something_, _something_ that she really couldn't see. So she backtracked. That's when she and Jasper went away in March.

Alice said that she saw the entire family happy and focused on the _something _that she couldn't see. She began to realize that there were _holes_ in her visions, so she started to look around the holes. That when she focused on me, I got kind of transparent in the visions, like she could almost see _through_ me. But what she could see was that I was pregnant. Like hugely pregnant.

Sitting yet?

She saw that the pregnancy is really hard on me. And the birth? Ouchie for sure as there were teeth involved. Caesarian by fang! Ewww. But then, Edward, she sees the most amazing thing ever.

She sees that we have a daughter.

A daughter!

I'm having a baby. _We_ are having a baby…are you sitting? Or pacing? SIT!

Alice really can't _see_ her, but she knows her name…Renesmee…apparently a blending of my mom and your mom's names. Seems rather odd, the name.

I feel like I've raised my mom and have taken care of Charlie a lot already. I've never even thought about having a baby of my own, not really. I've never thought about _babies_ before, except maybe in the abstract. You know, like, "I'll grow up, marry in my late 20's and eventually have a kid." That kind of abstract.

I never babysat or stopped to look at babies in the park or the mall. I always hoped that none would be seated next to me on my plane rides here, though. And I was always grateful for my ear buds when and if they were.

But now…well, now!

Edward, when Alice told me that we would have a baby, a daughter? Well, I could picture her so clearly. I think she'd mostly look like you, but maybe with my eyes. Although if she had green eyes like you had, well, that would be simply amazing, too, maybe even better!

Alice had gotten very serious at this point. Like I said, apparently the birth was hard on me. Like—blood everywhere and my heart stopping—hard. When she had this vision she didn't know Jacob, but in the vision he was there, helping you to keep my heart going until you pumped a syringe full of something—venom?—into me. She didn't know why he would be there. I do love the boy like a brother, but it seems rather weird that I'd want him there when our baby—our baby!—was being born. Because he wasn't a wolf when she saw vision originally, she thinks that's why she could see him.

Now before you go nuts, sit back down! You need to know that Alice brought this information to Carlisle and he has been searching for information since then. And he's found some! Some that might make this less than the ordeal that Alice has seen it to be.

Kind of like you knowing about me before you met me.

Kind of like you having the opportunity to get used to my blood before you met me.

Kind of like you knowing about the ice in the parking lot and fixing it before I even had a chance to be hurt.

Yes, like that. Just like that. Knowing what's coming has changed what's happened in Alice's original visions. And she thinks that her visions, and me, and you, and all of us _knowing_ can make this better.

Just like you've made everything else in my life better already.

Carlisle has been in contact with some friends of yours in South America (I can't remember their names, sorry!) who know of a young male who came from a vampire father and a human mother. Alice has seen that she and Jasper head down there later this fall to talk with them about _him_. And to meet with _him_. For some reason she can't see _him_ either.

Just like she can't see our daughter. Edward, our daughter!

We know that Alice's visions can change when decisions are made. So, I'm thinking that we might have to come up with a different name. I love my mom, and yours, but the name isn't growing on me. Maybe we could use it as a middle name? And, really? Wouldn't her nickname be…Nessie? No, just no. Our daughter just can't be named after a mythological lake monster!

Yes, I am trying to add a note of levity here. Because I'm pretty sure that you are freaking out.

I am, too.

BUT, a daughter…yours and mine. My mind is reeling and it's beyond anything I've ever imagined.

I don't even need Jasper here to feel the anticipation, the amazement and the awe that he's been feeding me for months. It's here, in my heart.

Do bear in mind that I'm not engaged, okay? Not until someone actually asks me…and no matter what Alice says!

As you read this, remember that we are a team…and no one gets to make a unilateral decision about our relationship. Even though I'm giving you these two days while I shop (!) to think things over, we will talk this out. And if you even THINK about running, like Alice said you would, well, I will track you down and deal with you. Don't think I won't.

I love you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. You are my life, now and forever. That will never change no matter if my eyes are brown, red…or gold.

I love you.

Yours forever,

Bella

* * *

><p>AN…First, sorry again on no review replies…I'm fail…I know. BUT I had to WRITE this! I really did…!

Second…after writing THIS…I realized that I think that THIS is the end…minus an epilogue (only ONE, unlike GUARDING EDWARD'S bazillion…lol). Although **LJ Summers** isn't sure I can stick to that…LOL…we'll see! Thank you, **LJ**, for your eagle eyes on this, too. All other mistakes are mine.

But doesn't this chapter really sum up how they feel about each other? And now we know what's coming…or rather, WHO is coming…

It seems to make sense to me…

For that epilogue, or rather, _final journal entry_, I'm seeing Edward writing a lot of short "bullet" entries, highlighting some of the stuff that's coming up…His life is really going to be busy…with a baby and all…

THERE WILL BE NO IMPRINTING ON THE BABY…well, not until she's NOT a baby anymore…!

And speaking of the baby…I'm open for name suggestions. Renesmee really hasn't grown on me…and Nessie really doesn't do it for me either. As Bella said, it's a great MIDDLE name…LOL…so, if something sounds good to you, please let me know. I was fond of one combined name I saw in another fic, the name which escapes me right this minute, _Rosalice_… Rose plus Alice… Rose-a-leese…yes? No? Other ideas? Of course, then we really couldn't do Rosalice Renesmee Cullen…wayyyy too weird! But now that I've said it three times in a row…maybe…!

I had wonderful pre-readers this time around: **u2shay**, **twilover76**, **TraciSnow**…**thank you**! Made me feel better about Bella hijacking his journal!

You really ARE the best readers in the fandom. I'm blessed to have you with me! Thank you!

Kathie

**Editing to add**: Oh! A fan fic of this! By Bells[dot]JustBells! She took that broken faucet from NOMAD and ran with it! Please go and read it!

h t t p : / / www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/s/7652427/1/#


	28. December 25, 2005 Proposal

.

.

**Merry Christmas, Everyone!**

**I know, I know…I said that BELLA WRITES was the last chapter…minus the epilogue, BUT I wanted to give you all a little something for Christmas…and a _proposal_ came to me.**

**We are going to assume that all the questions regarding Edward's reaction to Bella's letter have been addressed (they will be, but in the EPILOGUE)…and they are talking things out, etc…**

**THIS little gift is in regard to something that Bella repeated a few times in earlier journal entries…mainly, she's NOT engaged because she hasn't been ASKED.**

**This is un-beta'd…please forgive any mistakes!**

**I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!**

* * *

><p>∞<strong>EAC: The Journal of Edward A. Cullen∞<strong>

**December 25, 2005**

Bella was right; I hadn't asked her to be my wife.

A few days ago this began to weigh on my mind. We've talked over the visions that Alice had seen, and kept from me. We've made plans for our future, and our daughter! Alice and Jasper have been to visit Kachiri and her sisters…and Nahuel. Carlisle has come up with a plan to make the outcome of Bella's pregnancy the best it can be.

But…I still haven't asked her to be my bride.

Once I thought about it, I started making plans. I've seen proposals in the minds of my family, of strangers, and even seen them played out on television.

I wanted this to be special for my Bella. When the first grand scheme came to mind, Alice came and sat down beside me where I sat ruminating on a log after hunting. Bella was in her bed, asleep after a long day of shopping with Esme and my sisters. They had enjoyed themselves, but it was hard enough for vampires to keep up with the sprite when she was shopping, much less my exceptional human.

We were having Charlie and some of the wolves over for a football watching party on New Year's Day. I, briefly, thought about having the proposal put up on the JumboTron on whatever game we were sure to watch. I could drop to my knee in front of my family, and hers.

That's when Alice sat beside me and said, "She will hate that." I watched the vision play out. The focal point was Bella's extremely red face.

"Decide something else…"

Alice was right, that wouldn't do. I dropped the idea of the JumboTron and just decided to ask her with the family around. That was slightly better, but not by much.

"You really need to think about Bella, Edward. You know this woman, you know what she likes. Focus on that." Alice closed her eyes as another vision played out. A smile filled both of our faces as this vision was exactly what I knew she'd like.

"I can help you with this, so that you can get her there as a surprise, okay?" Alice was practically vibrating with excitement. "Now, what about a ring? Have you thought about that?"

I had a ring that had belonged to my mother, but it was quite large, more like a cocktail ring. I wanted Bella to have it, but I couldn't see her wearing it every day. I admitted to Alice that I had seen a ring that I liked online. She began squealing, saying that she could get it here by Christmas Eve, if I wanted her to. I had given her the go-ahead and she had sped back to the house to get to her laptop.

Before I could ask Bella to be my wife, I needed to have a chat with Charlie. I was concerned about his reaction. We were, to all intents and purposes, seniors in high school. He wouldn't understand that we were in this forever. He couldn't understand that we were mates. I did hope that he did understand how much we loved each other. I was Bella's, just as much as she was mine.

A text message came from Alice:

_**Trust that he sees how much you love each other. **_

_**Catch him after he has lunch. Bella's bringing him a meatloaf sandwich. He'll be in a good mood.**_

_**Good luck!**_

_**OH, and the ring will be here on the 23****rd****.**_

I had trusted in Alice's vision of what would happen, and hoped that no one would change their minds about anything, thereby changing the future. For a brief moment I wondered if Bella brought Charlie, say, a cheese sandwich, instead of meatloaf, if that would change his goodwill. That's when I decided that I was over thinking things.

∞**EAC∞**

The conversation had gone well. I was grateful that I had never done anything to hurt Bella so badly that it would make Charlie hate me. I assured him that we wouldn't be running off to Vegas to marry, that we would be waiting until after we graduated from school, that we had already filled out many college applications…and that I loved his daughter more than words could express.

At one point, although I couldn't read his mind clearly, I had seen that he wondered if he got his guns out and started cleaning them during this discussion, if I would run. I wouldn't have. Nothing would make me run from my Bella. He was pleased to hear that there was no rush to get married. Charlie didn't want to know just how intimate our relationship was, but he was glad to know that there was no reason to hurry the vows along.

There had been a very clear thought, filled with glee, over the thought that we'd have to tell Renée about the engagement. He wondered if he could be there and if Bella would put her phone on speaker.

Charlie had given me his leave, although he did say that it was up to Bella in the long run. I totally concurred with his statement. It was most definitely up to her.

∞**EAC∞**

Angela had invited Bella and I to attend the candlelight service at her father's church on Christmas Eve. Carlisle and Esme came with us. There was snow falling and all of the children in attendance had a hard time keeping their minds focused inside the building. Excited thoughts of whether Santa would be using Rudolph tonight filled their thoughts.

While their parents basked in the miracle of love come down from heaven. Pastor Weber's sermon was short and uplifting, and I wondered if he would be amenable to performing our wedding when the time came. Of course, I still needed to ask my Bella that one important question.

I found myself as excited as the children as I waited for the last song, _Silent Night_, to be sung. Everyone held candles and as I dipped mine to light Bella's, my heart felt overwhelmed at the love I saw on her face. Her body, as she pressed herself to my side, warmed me through and through.

Alice had assured me that she and Jasper would have everything in readiness when the service was over. The _everything_ included a snowsuit in the Volvo's trunk for Bella to wear.

∞**EAC∞**

Bella had been surprised when I drove to the house and then asked her to put on the bright blue snowsuit. Although she wasn't overly fond of surprises, she was intrigued enough to put the suit on, along with the furry Ugg boots, a hat and a scarf. When I was sure that she was bundled against the cold and falling flakes of snow, I swept her into my arms and headed toward our meadow.

When we were just inside the tree line, I stopped and set her on her feet. I'd kissed her gently and then backed into the meadow as I held her hand.

Her gasp as she took in the sight that waited us there made me smile.

Hundreds of gold and silver battery powered LED lights were strung around and inside a small gazebo. Plexiglas windows glowed with warmth. An archway stood before the door with a dark rug beneath it. Luminaries led from where we stood to surrounded the structure and they flickered in welcome.

Bella had smiled as I led her through the snow to the archway. Through the door we could see a low table covered with a red tablecloth and an assortment of goodies, including a steaming pot of cocoa. Brightly colored cushions were piled on the floor around the table. I hoped that the feast would be a celebration of her answer.

When Bella took a step toward the door, I pulled her close and, pointing up, showed her the mistletoe that was hanging on the arch above us. She had smiled and I'd kissed her gently, reverently. Her breath had warmed my cheeks when we finally moved apart. There were stars in her eyes and crystal snowflakes clung to her lashes. The dazzled look was on her face, and I'm sure on mine, too.

Taking her hands in mine, I'd dropped to one knee on the rug and looked up into her shocked face.

"Bella Swan, I love you more than words can even say, more than there are stars in the sky, more than there are snowflakes in this meadow. I'll love you in the spring when the grass is green and there are flowers everywhere. I'll love you when the leaves turn red and when they fall to the ground. I'll love you as the seasons change, as the sun rises and sets, as the moon waxes and wanes.

I promise to love you every moment of forever.

Will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"

I had slipped the ring from my pocket, and as I held her left hand with the ring poised to slip onto her slender finger, I looked into her lovely face. Tears were filling her beautiful brown eyes, but her lips were lifted in a smile. Her right hand came to cup my cheek even as she nodded her answer.

I couldn't believe the relief I felt when she nodded. Slipping the ring gently onto her finger, I stood and swung her into my arms. We were both laughing as I spun us around in the falling snow. Her voice, as she began shouting, "I will marry you! I will!" made my chest feel like my heart was beating again.

Coming to a stop beneath the mistletoe, we sealed our promise with kisses that made my knees weak. Sweeping the door to the gazebo open, a burst of heat hit our faces. Alice had found a camping heater and the space was toasty warm for our celebration, and what a celebration it was!

Bella had asked for my phone and had texted Alice this message:

_**Alice, now we can plan the wedding, now that I've been asked!**_

Indeed, this was the best Christmas in my very long memory. And the best part? It was the first of many Christmases to come, all of them that I would spend with my Bella. Yes, forever would be just about long enough to share our lives together.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and very Happy Holidays!<strong>

I've posted the ring link on my profile, if you care to see.

Oh! A fan fic of this fic by Bells[dot]JustBells! She took that broken faucet from NOMAD and ran with it! Please go and read it!

h t t p : / / www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/s/7652427/1/# and the link is also in my favorites.

Thank you all so very much for indulging me in stretching this story out, just a little bit! You all are the best!

Kathie


	29. Alice's Journal Entry March 19, 2005

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**This is the entry from Alice's private journal that I submitted for the **

**FANDOM FOR TEXAS FIRE RELIEF...**

_**...Alice knew more than she let on. **_

_**She's been hiding things—visions—from Edward...**_

Betas extraordinaire: LJ Summers and u2shay

Please note that this is set back in MARCH...while the last entry was the PROPOSAL from Christmas...

* * *

><p>∞ <strong>Alice Brandon-Whitlock-Cullen's Journal ∞<strong>

**Saturday, March 19, 2005**

I need to come up with a plan.

I'm going to have to tell him. I've been keeping this secret, well, both of these secrets, for way too long. One of them I've kept for years.

In May of 1969 when I first saw Edward getting married—to a human—I was shocked. But the joy on his face in the vision was worth any distress I had. Jasper and I had been part of the Cullen family for nineteen years and I'd never seen him this way.

Once I knew what to look for, I kept my inner eye on his bride. The time I shared seeing him with her in the meadow was a banner day for my mate. Jasper had said that the happiness that poured from Edward was blissful to bask in.

In January, 1981, when I saw the van almost smash her, I was impressed that all of the family came together to try and pinpoint the time that this would happen. I loved that they came up with a plan to keep this vision from coming to fruition. Even Rose helped.

There aren't enough words to cover how we all felt when we saw Charlie holding her that first time in September 1987. Edward had sketched the vision almost as I quickly as I saw it. Esme, in particular, was touched by seeing Bella as a baby. Edward had said the name out loud dozens of times by the end of that day: Isabella Marie Swan—Bella. His bride had a name and she was actually on the earth with us.

When we saw Renée leaving with her a couple of years later, I wasn't the only one that wished we could shed tears.

Some of the family thought that the worst vision was the one where we saw Edward killing Bella. Even though it was hideous when I was having it, if I hadn't seen that outcome…it might have come true. Having the warning that she was his singer changed everything. Rosalie really came through for our family there. I don't think I've ever been more proud of her than when she found a way for him to be with his mate.

Bella _is_ his mate and there is no disputing that fact. I can see him fighting changing her, but it is going to be her decision. Her choice was mostly made after we all told her our stories. She's held back from making the decision solid because she will miss her dad and mom and she's worried about them. She's taken care of them for most of her life; at least it feels that way to her. And from the things I've seen and the things she's told us about her life, she's right about that, too.

I want both Edward and Bella to come to the decision before it's forced on them. I've seen the blood and the confusion…and the baby.

After Edward actually met Bella, I'd been overwhelmed with visions. Jasper took me away for a weekend where I could visualize without interference. The visions had come in a landslide and I had taken them to Carlisle for his input. Between all of us, we are the only three that can keep anything from Edward. I really needed to know what Carlisle thought of what I had been seeing.

Because Edward would freak out if he knew what I've seen.

When Jasper and I finally found the Cullens, after I had been searching for so many years, he gave me his appraisal of them. Carlisle and Esme were mated and incredibly serene. Rosalie and Emmett were mated also, but on the total opposite side of the spectrum. Their relationship was and is volatile and passionate. Sometimes it's fun to enjoy the reflected enthusiasm when those two get going.

But Edward was different. Jazz said he had a hard time cataloging Edward. It wasn't quite contentment, and it wasn't happiness, for sure. He could be sad or edgy, and sometimes Jasper could sense violence about ready to spike…but then it would fade away. It took about fifteen years before he realized just what word would classify Edward. He finally said it was _waiting_. It was like he was just passively waiting for time to pass by. He wasn't even waiting _for_ something; it appeared that he had no hope. He just _was_.

When I had that first vision, something changed in him. And with each succeeding one, his outlook softened. There was hope mixed into his emotions. Jasper found it much easier to be near him.

We all know Edward's views on our souls, or the lack thereof. I can't believe that my Jasper has no soul. He has regretted each life he ended. Remorse is a constant for him. If he had no soul, he surely wouldn't care. And Carlisle! Please, that man's soul has a warmth that one can feel, even without my mate's empathetic gift.

The first vision that I knew would shock Edward in a really bad way came just after I saw the two of them in the meadow. It was just a flash and I quickly suppressed it. A week later, when Edward was several states away hunting with Emmett, I brought it out of the darkest part of my mind and looked at it closely.

_The young woman was smiling at me, her white arms wrapped around my shoulders while Edward grinned (grinned!) at the two of us._ _Her bright red eyes rested on Edward, love and joy giving her face an exceptional beauty, even for a vampire._

She was happy, I was happy…and Edward was happy.

But I didn't think Edward was ready to see that. He was so focused on the wedding and his human bride. I don't think he even thought about changing her. That seemed silly to me, but Edward, with his tendency to brood, well, it fit.

Just after Bella's birth in Forks, Washington, I had another brief vision. Edward was so involved with sketching Charlie with the baby that he didn't notice the small flash of vision that I had and had quickly hidden. Again I waited until he was gone before I looked at it closely.

_Bella, with golden eyes, was holding Edward's hand as they watched something—a shimmery…something—in a playground, of all things. They were smiling and I tried to read her lips as she turned and said something to Edward._

The vision faded before I could see what she was saying, but a golden-eyed Bella filled me with joy. I tucked this vision away, too. He really wasn't ready for it.

After Edward actually met Bella in January, I began to have visions that left me with a headache. It was like trying to see gold nuggets through muddy silt and the more that I focused on them, the harder they were to see.

I had finally told Jasper that we needed to get away for a long weekend. No one in the family thought anything of it, and we had run to a small cabin that we kept in Canada on Friday, February 4. We were miles from anyone and it was paradise to just be with my mate.

On Saturday morning, I had sat cross legged on Jasper's lap in the middle of the clearing in front of the cabin. Sunlight had poured over us and the heat felt fabulous. Jasper kept me grounded and calm while I tried to figure out the riddle of the visions. Taking a deep breath, I had focused on the vision that had tapered off into darkness. It came to me slowly:

_Bella, with golden eyes, was holding Edward's hand as they watched something—a shimmery…something—in a playground of all things. They were smiling and I read her lips as she said, 'Renesmee is growing so fast. She'll be as tall as me within the year! I'm so grateful that her growth has slowed like Carlisle said it would.'_

The name she said, _Renesmee_, had startled me. Bella's mother's name is Renee, our mother is Esme. The combination had made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. I'd immediately looked at the brief glimpses that I'd had since Edward met Bella in January.

I'd started with the red-eyed Bella…then looked for a time when her eyes were gold. There were blanks in my visions, places that I just couldn't see. So I had started to look around the holes and that's when things started to come together.

_Rosalie, with a softer look on her face than I have ever seen, holding baby clothes, burying her nose in them and breathing deeply._

_Esme crouched down as she waited for that shimmery space to launch itself into her arms. The smile on her face is more brilliant than I've ever seen it._

_Emmett—again on a playground—pushing something…someone…in a swing; the grin on his face almost too wide._

_Carlisle holding a steel baby bottle and a measuring tape! _I see him turn toward Edward and say_, her growth is slowing down. She's a miracle._

And Jasper, well, he was practically glowing with joy in every vision. He was always just on the periphery, a smile on his face. It was like he was soaking up the feelings that surrounded each image.

Even then I could scarcely imagine it. All of the signs pointed to one thing: a baby. But how could that be? Bella wasn't pregnant when Edward met her. We would have noticed that and she's not pregnant now.

Jasper hadn't asked what was happening as I had sifted through visions. He just kept feeding me serenity and confidence as we sat before the cabin. He really is the perfect foil to my personality. Calm, steady and just _there_ for me.

After a brief kiss and a soft, "Let me look some more," I leaned back into his strength and continued my search.

More flashes had come to me while he held me close:

_The wedding…_I made a mental note that I'd to need to find that particular dress for Bella when the time comes; it was gorgeous on her.

_Their arrival at the house on Isle Esme…Both of them are shy and their smiles hint at the things to come. Edward is very romantic as he carries her over the threshold._

_Feathers and a broken headboard…Joy on both of their faces as the sun begins to lighten the room._

I try to not see anything too personal, both for them and for myself. My gift makes me walk a very fine line between seeing _enough_ and seeing _too_ _much_.

_Bella holding a blue box of feminine supplies with a shocked look on her face. Her hand coming to rest on her belly, a belly that had a slight roundness to it._

The visions came in a torrent then, making my mind reel as Jasper tensed behind me. He had felt the shock pouring off of me as Bella had begun to blur in the visions, becoming almost transparent as the visions flipped through my mind.

_Bella walking through the airport and rushing into Rosalie's arms—Rosalie! Emmett had stood between them and Edward, his arms raised to block him from approaching._

_A nearly transparent Bella looking at her hugely rounded stomach while Edward placed his hands reverently there._

A sharp spike of pain at the base of my skull had caught me off guard before she disappeared completely from my view.

Then a scene from a horror film: _Bella laying on a gurney, blood everywhere as a young Native American male pumped her chest and Edward forced venom into bites on her arms and legs._ A brief glimpse of Rosalie carrying something small from the room caught my attention.

My emotions had spun out of control. I felt fear, shock, amazement…and hope.

Jasper had hissed as he looked around the clearing. I knew he wanted to fight whatever I was seeing, but he held me firmly in his lap when I put my hand on his face. I let the last emotion flow from me—hope—even as I told him that we would need to guard our thoughts from Edward until he was ready for them.

That was over a month ago. Jasper has been diligent in keeping my secret and Carlisle has as well.

The three of us had spoken upon our return and Carlisle had immediately begun searching to see if this could even happen. He had known that the myths of the succubi were based on our fellow vegetarians in Alaska: Kate, Irina and Tanya. His scientific mind led him to believe that since that tale was based in truth, then maybe the myths surrounding the incubus were true, too. It was hard for him to do his research, but he never let anything slip to Edward.

This week has been busy for our family. The baseball game and then the fight and destruction of the nomads. Telling Bella about our changes. Bella defending us at the Reservation.

We have all enjoyed the rest of the spring break just spending time with each other. Jasper and I went on a double date with Edward and Bella to see a movie. And we've spent a lot of time here at the house.

I know I have to tell Edward something. He knows that I'm hiding something and he's started picking at the edges of my mind. I don't want him to find out about Bella and the baby by mistake.

We had a close call last night. Carlisle had come in fairly humming with excitement. It was a good thing that Edward had already left to take Bella home, otherwise he would have known that something was up. His research has turned up children of male vampires and female humans. Our friends in South America, Kachiri, Senna and Zafrina, have verified the tales and have spoken to a young male. His name is Nahuel. He apparently looks about twenty but he's about 145 years old.

We will need to research this further, but the fact that it can happen is amazing. I can see Jasper and I taking a trip to discover everything we can about these hybrids, and what it may mean for Bella.

I need to plan how to tell Edward. We need to make sure that Jasper is close, to calm his fears when he hears this. I'm afraid that if I tell him about it, about Bella and her red eyes and _the baby_, he'll just do something stupid, like running.

Running is not good. A month ago when I first considered showing Edward the visions, I started with Bella with red eyes, and I had seen him running to Alaska. Bella had been a mess after he left. Then her future disappeared when she spent time with the puppy. She was never happy in the future that I could see. It was intermittent because of the wolf involvement but I saw her taking her wedding ring off and signing divorce papers with the name Isabella Marie Black. The sadness on her face just about broke my heart.

It was slightly better when I started by showing Edward a golden-eyed Bella, smiling up at him and telling him that she'd never been happier.

But when I start out by showing him the vision of him touching her pregnant belly…well, he seems to go into shock and I didn't even know that vampires could do that.

I need to think on this and come to a decision before he finds it in one of our heads.

My gift as a seer depends upon decisions made. Sometimes I don't have the slightest clue how far removed the decision that makes what I see happen in actuality. It's kind of like that game people play, _Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon_; someone made a decision thirty-six years ago that caused me to see Edward and Bella's wedding. I'll never know what that decision was.

Now, I'm going to try to see how to make this vision come about.

A baby! What a blessing this would be to us all. Esme as a grandmother; Rosalie an aunt! Our men with someone to dote on and protect. And Edward? Oh, Edward. He loves Bella so much and for their love to be tangible in this way! Well, I'm not sure that Jasper would be able to stand too close. He might just melt into a puddle from all the joy that would be wafting around.

Bella…she's already raised her mother and she's cared for her dad since she got here. I would worry how she'll feel about this, but I keep seeing her golden eyes, so filled with love, looking at that shimmery place. She loves that baby…_Renesmee_. There's no doubting that.

This really can be the best thing for our family ever…or it could end badly.

I need to come up with a plan.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you all for donating to the Fandom for Texas Fire Relief! Your dollars helped tremendously.<strong>

**More from Edward soonish...I'm working on BLOOD IS THICKER (BiT...still makes me laugh) right now.**

**Kathie (katmom)**


End file.
